Regreting Tubal?

I haven't done that specifically but I would like to comment that I think we often feel loss and grief over any major life transition. I felt loss and grief over the infertility caused by menopause, even though I had zero plans of having more kids. My husband felt a certain amount of loss and grief after he had his vasectomy.

The empty nest period feels kinds of the same way -- as you say, it's a time in your life that's over, and it definitely feels like a loss for me.

Yes, I think it's normal to grieve something that you know will never happen again, even if you chose it. But you will get past it.

Congrats on your new baby and enjoy!

It's ok to grieve the loss of your fertility, it's hard to close a door, even if it's one you agreed to close. I'm 9 weeks right now with our 2nd and last baby, and my husband is getting a vasectomy after the baby is born. It's a little bit of a bittersweet pregnancy for me, I'm doing my best to enjoy it to the fullest, but I'm still a little sad that it will be the last time, even though I was in full agreement with my husband that our family would be complete at 4. It's very ok to be sad, but try not to let it interfere with loving on your baby.

I wouldn't be surprised if some of what you're feeling is part of your postpartum hormones going haywire.
I remember bawling my eyes out a day after giving birth over absolutely nothing.
Give yourself some time to recover.
You'll be fine!

Yes, it's normal to feel bittersweet about ending fertility. It's a rite of passage - a lot of women feel that way at menopause, but that's nature. A lot feel that way about a hysterectomy, but that's disease plus the surgeon. Yours was entirely voluntary. Still, it can be hard. You are feeling much more bitterness than sweetness right now. It could be related to the hormonal letdown as well. It's hard to know if that is what is playing with your mind, or if you really didn't think through your decision at the time.

It doesn't hurt to talk to a counselor, short term, about these feelings. If your decision was well thought out, the feelings should pass when the hormones settle down, but don't be afraid to get help now.

My first tubal did not take. I was a college student thinking that I wanted to be a career girl in New York after graduation. Well, I got married and got pregnant. Thank God for his divine intervention!

Not all tubals are 100%.

My first thought is that it's completely normal to have some initial "buyer's remorse."

My second thought is that the feeling of buyer's remorse is compounded by post-partum blues.

We didn't even have permanent birth control after my third daughter, but my husband did decide for the both of us (and honestly? rightly so) during that pregnancy that three children was our limit. It still hurt like hell to know that, even though nothing permanent was done. Even though I had a brand new baby that was only days old. The thing is that I did enjoy my baby in spite of my feelings. I was able to reconcile the logic against my emotions. The cons of another pregnancy would have been (and still would be) devastating on my body. The financial issues wouldn't be anything to sneeze at either. That's not to say that if our birth control fails or that if God sees fit to bless us with a baby some other way we wouldn't accept it. We know not to turn away a blessing or a gift.

If the feelings persists and you feel anxious or depressed, or you feel as if you're angry or not yourself, or you start to feel resentful and it goes longer than three months, I would encourage you to see a therapist because at that point baby blues would then be post-partum depression. Mention it at your 6-week check-up to your OB/GYN and you could even get some counseling (short term if this is all it is and you're not prone to anxiety and depression) sooner than waiting to find out if it's PPD.

I'm sorry about what you're going through. I've been through this, and even now at 39 and knowing a pregnancy could disable me completely beyond my current disability, I do still have some lingering sadness that I don't have a fourth. I sometimes feel like someone is missing... but then I think that could be because I had a pregnancy loss before my third daughter. I don't resent my husband though. I resent my Fibromyalgia.

T., not that this makes your feelings less real, but I think this is a case of post-partum depression. Everyone experiences the hormonal rollercoaster in some fashion and you have something to fixate on. If it keeps up more than another few days, please talk to your doctor! Don't regret missing these joyous days worrying about something that has already been done.

I also was sure I'd reached my limit and had a tubal. I couldn't help but feel some pangs with that (quiet) little bundle in my arm, but now that the littlest is 3, I know it was the right thing for my family. Sounds like you'd put alot of thought into the decision when you were more objective. God Bless you and your family...

Congrats on new baby! Nothing new to add but hugs!!!
P

I think it's totally normal to feel this way. We love each and everyone one of the kids we've brought in to this world. When that period is over, it's a hard thing to work through- even if we've made the decision ourselves. I went through a period of grief when I was diagnosed with primary ovarian failure when my daughter was 1. This disorder typically causes infertility. Even though we were done with kids and my husband had already had a vasectomy, I was so sad about the fact that I personally would never be able to have the option to have any more kids. I was on all these hormones too, which didn't help.
I finally had a realization as I was doing research on my disorder. I visited forum after forum. I felt like such a selfish oaf when I read the stories of all the women desperate to have a child and just can't- by no fault of their own. Here I was with two gorgeous kids, and all these women will probably never be able to know what it's like to carry a child of their own. Since then, I have never felt another moment of sadness for myself on this subject. We are the lucky ones!
Anyway, congrats on your baby! And best of luck!