I'm So Emotional

I'm sorry, girl. It's a shitty thing. What you're feeling is part of the process. You cry and freak out all you want.

I'm sending you healing thoughts (closes eyes and touches temples), can you feel them?

Wish I could make it all go away.

:(

Dear SweetChaosWith3....I sooooo feel your pain. I had 2 girls and wanted a third child. Trying to get preggars for 4 yrs. Finally did it!! No heartbeat @ 8 weeks. I was heart broken, sad, mad, depressed. You name it, that was me. The Dr said I should be fine if I wanted to try again. So I did. Again....No heart beat @ 9 weeks. TWO miscarriages in 12 months. I told God EXACTLY how I felt about this! I gave up trying and got preggars again. I waited until the 11 week until I went to the Dr. My son is now almost 4 yrs, healthy, happy, smart, and the cutest thing on two legs! My advise would be to say how you feel out loud by yourself or to someone. Don't surpress your feelings. What you are feeling is normal and natural. You have to handle IT, don't let it handle YOU. When your kids find you sad or crying, give them a hug and tell them that you are so glad that they are a part of your life and that you love them. Also, there's a reason why the MC happened. I know it's hard, especially if it was a baby you really wanted. I'm certain that you will be blessed. I was and still am. Blessings to you and yours.

It's a hard process to go through but, yes, it's normal as you were pregnant, even for a couple of months, to go through the same hormonal fluctuation as after you had your kids. I'm sorry you are going through this.

I am so sorry dear. My heart breaks for you. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you are experiencing. Although I've never had a miscarriage, I did enter a huge depression following the birth of my first son, mainly due to the dramatic drop in hormones we experience after a baby leaves our bodies. That kind of sadness and depression is so painful and so frustrating at the same time.

I think it is VITAL that you go see your doctor and get on some medication ASAP. I'm not saying that you have to stay on it, but it could help you through this time, while your hormones are attempting to get back on a level playing ground. I don't know how you feel about meds, but sometimes you have to do what you can for the sake of you and your family. Find someone to talk to as well, a counselor, therapist, someone who is unbiased and who will just listen. Prayers for you. I'm so sorry this happened.

You're grieving. You will grieve this loss whether its now or 20?years from now. It's a loss. Of many things.
I've had 3 miscarriages, two D&Cs, so I know what you're feeling.
Be strong for your kids.
Hug them tighter.
Feel what you're feeling.
Take care of yourself.
There are support groups if you feel like it would help to talk with others with similar grief.
And, yes, your hormones are wonky. It will take a bit, but they'll level off.
Sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry you're going thru this. And, yes, it's all normal. I can't begin to know your pain because I have never been thru this but my sister miscarried three times and went thru everything you're describing. It just takes time. I tried to be there for my sister the best I could - helping her around the house, babysitting the other kids to let her just cry it out and deal with the pain.

If I were you, I would call my doctor and see if there isn't something they can give you to help get you thru the next few weeks at least.

God bless!!

p.s. I thot of something else that helps with grieving a loss (THAT I do know something about!) - write your baby a letter! Pour it all out into the letter and then either tuck it away or burn it. I've done this and it REALLY is therapeutic!!!

i was the same way after mine. J. wanted to wallow in my own self pity. i didnt want to talk to anyone, J. wanted to lay under the blankets and cry.

i remember feeling things diferent...i felt gas bubbles i guess or something moving after and it made M. think..maybe it somehow survived, this was all a dream. of course, i knew that wasnt true but it sure did make M. crazy for a bit

i would tell the kids a reason yor sad that would last for a bit so you dont have to keep explaining it.

I'm so sorry.
It's hard right now but you will get through this eventually.
It's only been a few days - you need more time - weeks, maybe months.
I know you want to shield your kids from why you are sad.
But kids have a way of thinking where they think THEY are somehow responsible for your sadness.
You don't have to tell them everything, but just let them know your grief is over something that had nothing to do with them.
I'm sorry for inadequate expression - so many times what is said that is meant as consolation just comes out wrong or ends up causing more pain.
Our kids are our joy.
It's hard not to think of losing that potential addition, but you have a wonderful family and they love you and need you.
Find a grief support group to help you through this and definitely talk to your doctor about what you are feeling.
Hang in there.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Not only is it normal to have hormonal issues (after all, some women even lactate!) but you are also going through intense GRIEF! Then, you have the added stress of trying to hide that grief and "come up with reasons" to your children about why you are so sad.

So you are hormonal, grieving, AND stressed, AND trying to bottle it all up and hide it! You need support, TLC, coddling. :( Yet we are always supposed to be superwomen.

I don't have a whole lot of advice.

Be sure to take care of yourself nutritionally! Like a marathon runner needs extra nutrients for the long-haul, you need extra nutrition (not extra calories - extra nutrients) to replenish all your neurohormones.

You need a person, or people, you can talk to about this. It is normal to grieve. It is normal to be hormonal.

It is critical that you get all the good-quality sleep you need. Make this a low-stress holiday season. Say "no". The world won't end if you do less and opt out.

It actually may help to just go ahead and let your children know (I don't know their ages) that you are sad sad sad. I once tried to hide something major and kids are smart. They know something is up and their imagination can be worse than the truth. There are ways to frame the truth that is reassuring to the children.

Hormones aside, you're grieving. You're grieving the loss of your child and also the loss of your hopes. I'd say there's nothing abnormal about that.

I don't know if there's anything you can do about the hormones. That's something to ask your doctor about. Please do it today!

But you may need to say something to your children. Even if they haven't said anything about your emotional state, they're probably wondering, and possibly worrying. (I don't know how old your other children are.)

If you do talk to them, think carefully about what you want them to learn. It will have to be something involving sadness, but that's not always a bad thing.

What you will say depends on you. If it were me, I might tell my children, "Here's something you didn't know about. We were going to have a new baby. God takes care of all His people, and sometimes He lets a person have such a short little life that the baby doesn't even get to be born. And this baby died before we even got to see him or her. So when you see me crying for a while now, you'll know it's because I'm thinking about this baby and I'm sad. I'm not crying because *you* did anything wrong. You haven't made me unhappy."

Let your children feel free to ask you questions. Be prepared for questions - maybe not right away, but over the next few months. Consider what any of your children *might* be wondering about, and how you will answer those queries.

I'm so sorry for everything. Yes, this is totally normal. Call your OB/GYN and let him/her know what is going on. They might suggest a few weeks of therapy.

Also, are you sleeping? If not, an small amount of Xanax will ease a lot of your worries and help you chill a bit and sleep.

Feel better. All you need is some time.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. My friends who miscarried always said that it was like going through a whole post-partum recovery. When I had a failed IVF cycle, I had been taking hormones for only 2 weeks and once I stopped those, it really did feel post-partum to me and just like at the end of a pregnancy, took about 10 days for me to feel somewhat balanced again (crying, mood swings etc.). So in addition to your very real and raw emotional experience, your hormones really are going crazy too.

Please be good to yourself and take people up on their "if there is anything I can do for you" offers...let them watch your kids or cook you a meal so you can rest and process your grief.

I hope you feel better soon, and again, so sorry for you loss.

You might talk with your kids and tell them 'something' happened that made you sad or however much you care to share with them so maybe they will be more helpful during this time, not feel like something happened that they caused or guess at what it is wrongly, etc. It might help you to share something with them.
Hormones will level off but you are also suffering a loss. Give yourself time to grieve, let hormones level off and then hopefully you can try again if that's what you want to do.
I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry. It really never stops hurting but you learn to find a place to put the heartache. It takes about 6 weeks or so in my experience to even out much like after birth of a living child. Let yourself feel sad. Find people who are loving and kind to share with, get lots and lots of cuddle time with your living children. I made a memory box and put in all my mementos including cards from loved ones and ultrasound pictures. It helped me grieve and I look at them from time to time. It sucks but really it is only time that will help you start to heal. Sending you blessings and love to your angel baby.

Of course it's normal. You're having a sudden drop in hormones, and it will continue for a few weeks. But it's not just hormones - it's that you are mourning. Mourning what you have lost, mourning what might have been.

You're also hiding it from your kids, understandably, and that puts pressure on you to hold it all in. Which means it's trying to come out. When you see signs of happiness or joy or frivolity, you want to destroy it because it flies in the face of what you are feeling.

You're also going through this right when it's darker so much earlier, and that's hard for many people anyway.

Lump them all together, and you have a recipe for depression and sadness.

Reach out and get some support - asking for help with counseling is a sign of strength, not weakness. It will give you a place to talk opening, to cry, to grieve. Take care of yourself because you deserve it. And it will be better for your family and kids if you can find strength to go forward. It will get better, but not right away and not if you don't help it along.

Blessings.

So sorry for your loss. Take the time to grieve. What you are experiencing is perfectly normal.

I'm so sorry for your loss.