Recess Concern

Always ask questions politely about a situation because children can forget some of the details. That way you can get the whole story before you come to a conclusion.

My advice after substitute teaching in the public school system for a few years is to talk with the principal about it. Chances are there is more to the story than your child may be telling you. I had lunch with my daughter at her elementary school today and I kept telling her friends to eat their lunch because they were talking way too much and not eating. They actually make the kids go silent about the last 5-10 minutes before their lunch break is over so they will actually get caught up on eating. I'm sure the schools just want to make sure that your child is eating right so his brain will function better for learning!

So they punish your child for not eating a high fat food by taking away his exercise time and we wonder why our country has an obesity issue? I can assure you that I would pass on steak fingers also! I think you need to talk with the principal about changing school policy on that. Maybe have a nice, friendly conversation with the teacher first and tell her your intentions so she doesn't feel you are going around her, but that policy makes no sense.

It's odd to think that is actually a rule (I don't think it would even be legal, frankly). But I like what another mom said about talking to the teacher with your son right there. That way, if either one of them remembers things differently, it can easily be addressed. Regardless, it is not acceptable at all, so I would move on to the principal and then the superintendent if you don't get assurance that this will not happen again.

If they seem to be hardcore and you don't want to continue the fight, I would start sending my son to school with a homemade lunch, and I would just drop in towards the end of mealtime to see what happens (discreetly, so the teacher doesn't even see you, if possible). Good luck! Seems like a mean thing for them to do.

You should definately approach the teacher and principal about this. That is the craziest rule I have heard of. Children should not be punished for not eating something they dislike. Forcing creates obesity in chldren ...especially if they are withholding from physical exercise. I think as mom's we all want our children to eat nutrionally smart (even when we aren't standing over them at the supper table)...but, we all know that the cafeteria food is sometimes not the most appetizing. And, sometimes as adults, we just don't finish our plates... for whatever reason. For my son (who is 11)... I just hope he eats something... anything ... for lunch when I am not there. Good luck .. and stand strong. You are correct in your thinking.

This, unfortunately ,is fairly typical. If a child does something deemed, unsuitable by a teacher, they are punished by taking away recess. You can go to the teacher, then the principal. Perhaps your principal is approachable. I hope so. The problem is that when a child "breaks a rule" however stupid that rule may seem to us, they really have no other way to "punish". Most schools don't have after school detention. They, can of course, be sent to the principals office, but usually that is just a burden on the office staff. They can be given extra homework, but that is a burden on the parents. So, really, very few tools to "punish" with.
And schools do still feel they must "punish". It is absolutely ridiculous that anyone should monitor what and how much your child eats. If your child generally eats lunch and shows no signs of starvation, it is not the business of a teacher nor a school to monitor. Of course who can blame the kids? So much of the food in school cafeterias is not worth eating!

A couple of years ago, my son attended a public school in Dallas. Recess was taken away at the drop of a hat. If the kids were noisy in the lunchroom, if a kid did not eat all their food, if a kid "misbehaved", recess was the weapon. One of the Dad's was even interviewed on television about this and cited nationally recognized authorities who state that recess is a necessary part of each and every day, just as physical education is and neither should be used as a form of punishment. In fact studies show that kids who have physical activity every day actually learn better and do better on tests. It was to no avail. Children no longer have basic rights to exercise their bodies and play each day. It's deplorable. But I digress.

All you can do is appeal to your principal and hope common sense prevails. Otherwise , as has been advised, pack a lunch the kiddo likes or send a note each day in the lunch box for the nosey teacher stating your child can eat as much or little as they like.
You can also insert a note into the permanent file of your child stating your child can eat what they like at lunch. That way, if you have substitute teachers/ principals you are covered and your kid can say, it is in my file, go have a look.
Ugh, you should not have to deal with this. I'm so sorry you are having this experience.

S.,

Completely outragious. We had a similar issue with our preschooler at his school. They would "punish" by not letting the kids go play on the playground if they weren't good listeners etc. My hubby just about hit the ceiling when I told him about this. He went to the school the next day and really let them have it. I would say that you should speak with the teacher, but make sure you speak with him/her with your child there. The teacher is much less likely to bold face lie to you right in front of your son...and if he/she does, your son is there to have his say, etc and you can work it out/figure it out. Either way it is outragious. If they do something bad enough to warrant no play/exercise, then it should be a phone call to you/conference/etc. Something WAY more than not eating the unhealthy food that tastes bad.

My daughter who is in 2nd grade tells me that they can get docked recess time for "bad behavior" in class. I have a feeling you are not getting the whole story, because not eating your whole lunch is not anyone's business. I would talk to your son's teacher and find out what really happened; he may have misunderstood.

I taught elementary music for 9 years before staying home with my daughter, so I have more teacher perspective than mom at this point. I agree with the advice that you speak to the teacher first, but with an open mind. There could be any number of explanations for what happened - from misunderstandings, to misbehavior, to a poor teaching choice. I agree that having your son there would be a good idea, but you might even try just speaking to the teacher by phone first, then schedule a brief meeting with the 3 of you. My first suspicion is that you're not getting the whole story from your son - not to accuse him in any way, but my experience as a teacher and as a child is that kids will stretch things to put the blame on someone else. If it turns out that this really is a poor teaching choice, than address it with the teacher to see if she can correct it before you go to the principal. If it's not taken care of, then of course let the principal know. Good luck - I know that I'll do anything to avoid conflict!

I am a former 3rd grade teacher just retired in Dec., Please go to the teacher first. Have your son with you as the others have suggested. I am shocked that he was punished for this. It is state law that children have physical activity every day be it PE or RECESS. I never had a child miss recess for not eating everything on the tray. They also never missed the entire recess unless it was a serious matter. At that point we (the student and I) called the parent first. If this is a school rule, going to the adminstration will not do you one bit of good. They will support the teacher. Hope this helps.

I would approach the principal asking what happened as a concerned parent...sometimes children can misunderstand what they were punished for. If the punishment was for not eating all his food I would explain to the principal that you don't find that a fair punishment because you would not like to teach your son to eat when he is not hungry or that he has to eat all his food on his plate...we have obesity in America and I personaly believe it is because so many people have been taught to eat all on their plate and our portions are huge! I am getting off track, I agree with you though...not eating all on your plate gets you no exercise....that doesn't equal out to me either.

Your principle should be willing to come up with an alternative resolution to a child not eating something they don't like. Especially if you were to research and print out a couple of articles on the increase of obesity
in children in the U.S. Tell him you are onfident that he would agree that the health risks of a child not exercising
are more dangerous than a child not eating a certain food.
A better option might be to take away the cookie.

Good Luck... I think we all have (or will have too) approach a teacher or school official on behalf of a child.
It can be intimidating, but with diplomacy, they should be willing to come up with a equally effective resolution.

cj

S.,
First, I would talk to the teacher and find out what the circumstances were....not that I think your child is not telling the truth, but there could be more to the story. Second, if there is not more to the story I would go talk to the administration (prin., vice prin.). I don't think you are blowing this out of proportion....I don't see how they can punish your child for not eating his lunch...that's not their call.....good luck!