Recent Bouts of Shyness?

Well, it's tough to know. I'd say that you have to factor in that kids go through phases anyway, but you also have a new baby who is getting a lot of attention and taking a lot of time. It's an adjustment for any older sibling, and maybe he's reacting to the idea that "tiny + helpless = fussed over" (by parents and everyone else). Lots of kids regress in any of a number of areas when there's a new baby, and sometimes it doesn't happen in the first 2 weeks but a bit further down the road.

I'd explore with the teacher whether anything has happened at school to make him reluctant to put himself "out there". Was he embarrassed by something (even something small)? Does he exhibit this shyness in school or just with Mom/Dad? That might give you an idea of whether this is specific to his family or if it's happening all the time. That, in turn, might help you decide how to proceed, if at all.

it's a very common phase. i think there's a good broad solid middle ground to take. don't drag him out and force him to interact, but don't coddle it either. if it's a situation where he can scoot away, i'd tell him 'please say good morning to mrs. robinson. if you don't feel like chatting today, then you can go play in your room.' really, you can apply that particular strategy in most situations. the pharmacist says 'hello' to him and he ducks behind your legs? tell him firmly 'say 'good morning' please.' to the pharmacist 'a bit of shy phase doing on here.'
don't let him get in the habit of ducking common courtesy. but don't turn it into a big Thing either.
khairete
S.

Let it go. It too shall pass. He's had a big change in his life.

I think sometimes when kids stop being the center of the world and have to share attention with new sibling, they think they've done something. They can become a bit insecure. Some become jealous of the new baby thinking "You did this to me" and others go internal with it "I must not be as interesting".

It's just an adjustment period I think. I bet the friends and neighbors are oohing and ahhing over little one and this is all new to him. He'll come around. Just make sure he gets lots of attention. Sometimes I would say "Oh and so and so did this at school today..." and then I'd see my little one come out of his shell. They just like to be recognized too.

That's probably what it is. My kids were all shy (still are). Sometimes more so. I never made it into a problem - because I'm shy too. And I don't think it's a flaw. I just focused on you aren't allowed to be rude. So my shy kids still had to say hi. But if they are taking stuff in, that's ok.

I'd role play with him and show him what he looks like hiding behind your legs and not speaking up when friends or neighbor's are trying to be friendly and make conversation.

You are absoultely right that this will pass (both my girls did this) but since I really didn't like it I really tried to break this.

I had my girls answer the phone. Had them announce themselves at the dentist and doctors office. Made them order their own food at restaurants since the age of 3 when they were quite capable of speaking in full sentences. Had them go to the counter to ask for a spoon or napkin when at the food court etc.

My 5 year is a more reticent fellow by nature but even he cycles in and out of bouts of deeper shyness. We ignore the shyness. We believe his shyness is a result of his greater awareness of the wider world but also just who he is. He takes things in and that reads as shy.

We can see him developing a sense of awareness of people’s judgments and opinions, which leaves him feeling vulnerable and/or exposed to ridicule. We think he is wrestling with bigger concepts which can be difficult to articulate and work through. For example my husband and I have slipped up and made negative comments about others which my son has overheard. Sometimes you can see his wheels spinning and then see the resultant shyness emerge. In these instances we tackle it sideways with regular conversations. We the adults remind each other to mind little ears and to be less negative in general to set the proper example. If we catch ourselves in the conversation, we will also apologize to our son and to each other. Reminding everyone to be kind to others because being mean is easy but well, mean. We also talk to our son about people’s feelings, how people have opinions and how a person can feel about someone else’s opinions. It winds up being a running series of conversations circling around remember how words can hurt, how opinions can hurt, minding other people’s feelings, not retreating from all people over one mean person, etc. The harder conversations stem from when one of his little friend’s makes fun of him over something. Recently we had one of them tell him how only girls like such and such TV show. We talked to him about how variety in people, opinions, dress, play, toys, everything is a good, positive thing. We also explained there aren’t girl or boy things so why can’t he enjoy those TV shows? Honestly we have had this conversation more than once because my son tends to the “feminine” as defined by stereotypical “little boy” standards.

In general we opt for the ignore and observe approach to avoid blowing up nonissues or jumping in to too hastily. Good luck.

agree with diane b. could be the new baby or something happened at school that may not seem to be a big deal but is causing shyness for your kiddo. talk to the teacher to rule that one out and spend some quality baby free time and yes this too should pass