This is a totally TMI post but.... Has anyone gone from being a relationship with no sex to then having sex? My husband and I separated about 4 years ago for a few months and then got back together. We decided not to be intimate until we worked on some things. We worked through the things but we just never went back to having sex. Then, the other night we were watching Private Practice (where every episode someone is having sex) and I offhandly mentioned something about how it must be nice to have sex. We ended up having a whole conversation about it the next morning which then turned into sex. And now we're on this roll- the last few days we've been like a couple of teenagers- even at work all I keep thinking about is my husband and having sex with him and when I see him all I want to do is have sex with him. It's been fantastic but every time I just feel weird. Not in a bad way- just really shy and I feel awkward a little bit. Anyone else been through this and what did you feel? Was sex all you thought about? Don't get me wrong- I'm loving having sex with my husband- I just want my brain to go back to normal and stop acting like a horny teenage boy. :) And I want to stop feeling so shy when we do have sex. :) Thanks mamas and I apologize if this was way to personal.
How refreshing! Someone actually thinking about it before having sex!
You're seeing him and the situation with new eyes--so it probably WILL seem different. It's all new again. And that's a good thing!
I wish that would happen to me!
How great for you! Keep it going! (Maybe once you become used to it you will be less shy. But who cares, it's working!)
I say CELEBRATE - get a hotel room for the weekend, or even just the day, or get the kids out of the house with long playdates, get some sexy nighties, wine and cheese, massage oils, and room service...and go enjoy each others bodies girlfriend....sounds like you both deserve to let your hair down and live a little.
It's hard getting over being shy...but you sound like you're in loving, safe arms to experience....the joy of sex...;)
That's so great you guys worked through your issues first!
It's natural to be shy about it; think of the very first time you two had sex... everyone's shy to an extent when it's 'new', and technically, this is new all over again! Heck, I feel that way after not being intimate for the week I'm on my period, LOL!!
Totally natural to feel that way. If you're REALLY uncomfortable, pull back a bit, and start taking baby steps forward again. Don't ever do something you're not comfortable with... but being shy about it is okay too. You probably still have some emotional walls up from the split, and since sex is more emotional for women and more physical for men, what you're going through sounds like human nature!!
You'll get there :) Slow down if you have to (but it doesn't sound like you want to, LOL!!) Have fun 'finding' each other again :)
ENJOY!!!! and count your blessings.
That is a really great story! Congratulations!
My husband and I were both virgins when we met, so in the beginning we were like that. We couldn't fathom why anyone wasted money on going to exotic locations like Hawaii for their honeymoon--we just needed a bed. :)
Girl that's a GOOD thing! You're probably feeling shy because you're so open to it now and it's a different feeling for you. Talk to your husband about your feelings - both the desire and the shyness and be honest and open. It will connect you to him even more. Enjoy it! I'm sure a lot of us would love to have those "horny teenage boy feelings" for our spouse more often. :)
Enjoy it! Indulge yourself. How many of us would like to feel like a horny teenage boy that could actually score!? As for the shyness...... keep pushing your limits and my bet is that will go away soon enough.
Oh gosh, after I found out my ex was cheating, we tried to work on things but for some reason the more emotional I got the more turned on I got...It had never happened before like that. We went at it non stop for 2 weeks but no emotional connection, but the passion was like none I had experienced before. We both got sick for a week and couldn't have sex and I realized nothnig was better and I was J. avoiding things so we split up...but ever since that night, it;s a switch got turned on in my brain and I've become a like a hormonal teen...its on my brain non stop.
I've pretty much always been a 12yo boy. I love sex, I think about it ... well... a lot. I used to have sex with my husband almost daily (for over 9 years).
I haven't had sex in over a year.
Same/similar agreement... I wasn't willing to have sex with him until we worked through a LOT of stuff. ((I know some people say this is a game/ploy/whatever... I can't speak for anyone else... but I lost all respect for my husband a year or so ago, and I'm just not willing to have sex with someone I don't respect.))
Difference in our house is that we didn't work through them.
It's been a year of celibacy. And now, doing the single mom thing, it's going to be no sex for 5+ years, and possibly forever. Which is a sad sad thing for me. Sniff!
So I'm jealous / really happy for you!
I've always got the teenage boy thing going on, but there's no scoring.
I say EMBRACE IT!! I love when my husband and I get on kicks like that...it makes everything more fun and all around better!
I personally love it and think about it quite often - probably more often than my husband knows about :).
Why would you want your brain to "go back to normal"? Having a healthy and great sex life is sooooooo great for a marriage. It's not just the "act" of sex, but the intimacy between you and your spouse that keep a marriage healthy. Yes, you do need to figure out how not to be so shy, your husband loves you and is I'm sure finds you totally attractive so let yourself go and have fun with it.
Whatever your doing keep it up...
I'm happy for you both. It's like you are on your second honeymoon. It's okay for your brain to feel like this. Remember that the brain is the most important organ when it comes to this - the fact that you are thinking about it means that you will enjoy it and want it. Go with it!
Dawn
My husband and I are working on a few things (in a good way), and now sex is on my brain constantly. I am always trying to figure out when we can do it again!! It is kind of annoying actually, and I want to go back to how I was. Able to concentrate on paying the bills without thinking if the lacy underwear I have on is going to get put to good use. Tell me it does stop!! I'm half afraid he is going to get irritated by it at some point.
Yes,,,,, my husband and I would go months at the beginning of our marriage. Crazy as that sounds its true, we were in our early 20s and mire secure financially than ever....to top it all off. We could go months without any contact at all and it was like an unspoken problem. 2 years or so ago it dissipated and we are all over each other all the time. I shop for nighties and toys and encourage new things , as does he. I send him naughty pics and say dirty things to him and Vice versa. The difference is very night and day. When we were teenagers we did it often but not nearly this much. I'm pregnant now and he's getting a vasectomy. I just turned 30 so I assume this good streak will last another 20 or more years. Knock on wood.
Eta .... Our newfound " spirit" was I believe derived out of opening up about wants and needs as well. I made an effort to put the past behind me and treated him like I did before our problems. He pretty much reformed into the man I want without me even asking. It's funny how communication and mutual respect actually works.
Oh good heavens that's wonderful!!!
What a beautiful story!!!!! I too think about sex all the time and want to do it anywhere and anytime with my boyfriend....I also get so shy when I feel this way and weird...I have it in my head that women aren't supposed to act this way or feel this way...but I do realize it's healthy...we are human too!
I think that's fabulous!! Enjoy it, don't suppress it :)
