Really Need Support Right Now.

Look A., for centuries women have rediculously fantasized about using their love, sex, money, children, etcetera to change a man. If his mom or guardian did not do the job of making him a good man to his fullest capacity, then there is nothing you can do. Do not try to raise a grown man. That's his mama's job. You have children of your own for that job. Realize that you have made a mistake and move on. I know it can be a harsh reality to call it quits, however, your priority is yourself and your children. Use this as a lession learned for any future relationship. Be aware of the real signs as you begin something new. Be honest with yourself and with what you see and feel. It is all about being kind to yourself.

Hi A.,
You do need support. The courts will not allow you to get divorced as long as you are pregnant with his child. So knowing this and also knowing that because you are having his child you will also be connected for many years ahead, you need to look at the bigger picture. Do you want to really continue to stay with a man who lies to you, sleeps around on you and can possibly pass on STD to you? He says he is bored, well it sounds more like he is a coward and he does not deserve to have you or your children to be part of his life. Raising children alone is very difficult, but if you can't have his love & trust and loyalty, then what are you saying to your children? Don't sell yourself or your family short, because you deserve better than that. He is really bored with himself and that is not your problem, he has probably been cheating for years before he ever met you and that explains his lies. Move forward for the best interest in your family, he is not worth fighting for any longer. Good luck with your new little daughter and just surround yourself with the love of your sweet family. K

I am sorry you are going through this but it sounds like you would be better off without him, too much trouble and what are your boys lesrning? You are astrong woman it sounds like, go with your gut!! My sister has been going through this for years and she will not leave.... I admire your strength!! He sounds like he needs to do some maturing!!!

He's a lier and having multiple affairs, has left you in your condition, and you think maybe there's something wrong with you? Where's your brain, girl. He's a louse, a loser, a no-good immature individual. He said he'ed help financially but has not. When the divorce if final, and you'ed best try to speed it up, he won't have a choice because the state can take support out of his paycheck. You are better off without him. I really think the childpayment can be handled before the divorce is final. Ask your lawyer.

Dear A.:

You and your unborn baby deserve better. Get out now! Don't wait for the baby because it will make it harder. The baby doesn't need to grow up in a house full of lies and with a father who does not respect their mother.

Your self-esteem has taken a big blow from the man's terrible treatment of you, but you can get by! I'm a single mom, by choice, and yes, sometimes it's hard, but then again, my daughter has grown up with one pretty consistent set of standards for love, respect, dignity, and a healthy amount of self-esteem.

Please get far, far away from this man. Ask your friends, family, and church for assistance with your move and the birth of your child. You'll be surprised how supportive they will be in helping you get out of that situation.

Take care of yourself, love yourself, and be happy! S.

Dump him ASAP and get a good attorney. This kind of guy is going to totally weasel on doing his part to support his child. It is not controlling to expect someone to actually honor their marriage vows. He sounds extremely passive-aggressive and frankly is no good for anyone. If someone else wants him, fine but you are worthy of a true mate not a lying jerk. So sorry this is going on at what should be a happy time for you. Make sure your attorney is a divorce specialist.

I was involved with a man that was a liar and cheater as well. We were never married and never had kids together. So I hope that my experiences may help u during this very difficult time. The lies and cheating that I was aware of when I left him was nothing compared to the ones I discovered after I left him. He hurt my self esteem quite a bit and pocketbook as well (I have 2 children from a previous marriage). There is nothing that I could have done to help him or keep a healthy relationship with him...nothing. It was his short comings and I had 2 kids to raise and did not care to raise an adult male also. The best thing I could have done was to leave him. Be very careful. With a new baby on the way, it is probably difficult to make that decision. I wish u the best.

YES! There is something wrong with him. He lies and cheats. Stop and think. He did this before you got married. He continued to do this after you got married. Get out now. There is absolutely no reason to believe he will change. Hey! Why should he change? He's gotten away with it this long. Stand up for yourself and your children. Have respect for yourself- he obviously does not. I know this is really hard especially being pregnant- those hormones cloud your thinking- but this is NOT the way to live life, always wondering, guessing, KNOWING he is cheating. Way too stressful. And think- is this the example you want your sons to model themselves after? If your husband is allowed to lie and cheat- then that is a role model for them. Do you want your daughter to grow up thinking that it is ok for daddy to have girlfriends AND a wife? Thank him for his assistance in letting you have the joy of a daughter and all things pink (for a little while at least- then she'll grow up and want anything but!!) and send him on his way. Good luck.

Hi A.,

He may have something wrong but you don't have to stay with him. It is hard enough raising kids without having to raise your husband as well. He is not ever going to make a half way decent husband as far as I can guess. Don't be his doormat. Life is usually better without that kind of stress.
Good luck and be strong.

Dear A.
Hate to see that you are going thru this right now while you are pregnant. But as the old saying goes "once a cheater always a cheater", so you should not blame yourself for this. The only mistake you made was believing in him and giving him another chance after the first time he did it. I can only imagine that the only reason you did it give him another chance was so that your daughter would have a father.
I can tell you from personal experience that unfortunately that is not always the case.
My ex boyfriend and I dated for 2 years before I decided that he was the one and that I wanted to have his baby. Well once my parents found out they wanted to see what he planned on doing so asked him to sit down with them. Well to my complete surprise his answer to my parents was that I was a great girl and that he cared for me alot but he did not plan on marrying me but that he would help me support the baby. Up to then even if my parents did not like the person I was with they would never lie to me so I had no reason not to believe them. And when I went to talk to him myself about this he completely denied everything. BIG SURPRISE---NOT!
Well now my girls are 5 years old and thanks to the good lord, my family and all of my family's friends the girls have not known anything but love and they have never been without the things they need day to day. Even though I put a child support order on him he has barely paid and now he wants to come back and try to marry me. And he too has invited me to go out and I only gave him one chance to leave me standing alone.
So keep your head and up for we as women are strong and we do not always need a man to be happy. Good Luck and God Bless