Ramblings of a Frustrated Mom

Updated on September 21, 2009
R.H. asks from Merrimack, NH
24 answers

I'm really frustrated. My daughter has been treated for a yeasty diaper rash for 3 weeks (nystatin cream). It actually went away and her skin looked great for about 4 straight days but we were still using the cream to be on the safe side. My mother has been watching her for the last 2 days and her bum is red and sore again. Every diaper rash she has ever had has originated at my mother's house. I always remind her to change the dipe frequently, check for poop frequently so she's not sitting in it, etc. My mom and sister often tell me that I need to change my daughter's diet to help prevent rash, yet she never actually gets a rash when she's with me. They've also told me I give my kid too much fiber, they've told me to use different dipes, and I feel like everything I do is wrong. I feed my family a healthy diet; veggies, fruits, nothing but whole grain bread, various grains, some fish and lean meat as well as the occasional soy product. When she is with them she has a lot of pizza and quick breads, and comes back with a sore bum. Of course I always send her with a few food items but not enough for every meal/snack, and they always manage to blame the rash on the few food items I send. I feel like screaming at my mom and sister even though I know they might be on the right track, my DD might have food allergies. How to deal with critical family members, and what should I do about this darn rash issue, see an allergist?

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K.C.

answers from Providence on

I would try using Bag Balm, you can buy it at CVS. My daughter and one son get rashes so bad they bleed. Where my other son has never had a diaper rash. I do find acidic foods bring it out. Even strawberries

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L.C.

answers from Bangor on

I used Arbonne's diaper rash cream when my children were little and use it now as an anti-bacterial for cuts and for my boys when they go to scout camp (they tend to get rashes when they swim, sleep and walk in the same shorts) lol It works great! I think 1 tube lasted an entire year with my youngest son, because it kept the rashes from coming back. I would be happy to let you know where you can buy it. Just let me know. Good luck

More Answers

E.T.

answers from Boston on

Hi R.,
So sorry about your frustration! A simple suggestion might be to try Shaklee's all-natural and organic diaper rash cream - perhaps give it to your Mom telling her that you need her to use it each time she changes your little one. Being a nurse, I am sure you are aware of the importance of eating right, and your family is fortunate to have you making those decisions. The customers and distributors I have in my Shaklee group who are nurses are much more educated in what is best for their family with regard to nutrition, etc. So, stick to what you are doing. I invite you to visit my web site www.emilytaft.com - then type "baby products" in the search box at the top right to check out the Diaper Rash Cream. Please call me with any questions at all. Best Wishes. E. Taft ____@____.com ###-###-####

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C.H.

answers from Boston on

Hi R. H - First of all, be encouraged! It is absolutely ok to be disappointed to get an irritated baby bum back from mom!

Good news! I am a Candida and yeast educator. Just a quick note - yeast, mold and fungus are transformers, they can all transform into eachother. ie, try limiting mold - cheese, yeast items -bread, pizza, crackers, yogurt, soda, super sugary foods like fruit roll-ups, super sweet fruit cups, and fermented foods like ketchup, pickles and mushrooms(fungus) all participate in yeast overgrowth. Foods in baby food jars also participate to some degree by containing various forms of mold.

Be encouraged to pack entire meals the baby is away.
Continue to cook the foods that you know don't cause concerns and save a portion of dinner to freeze for later meals. Be committed to your child's health! Consider looking for alternative child care maybe a kid swap with other mothers who have food concerns. I have kids with allergies and understand broken boundaries with family members over food concerns. C. H (mom of 5)

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J.S.

answers from Springfield on

In your situation I would consider finding a real day care for my child. It sounds like your mother is the reason your baby is suffering :(

P.H.

answers from Boston on

It sounds like You are on the right track and they are eating away at your conidence as a mom. You see that your daughter is coming back from their house with the rash, not in your care and if the doctor thought it was food related he may have said to cut something out.

I think they maybe a little controlling and want to tell you what to do, you need to listen to your own mommy self on how you raise your child and what you feed them.

Are you leaving your daughter there due to work or just family visits? if you know this is what happens when she goes there, be prepapred and stop talking about it as it seems it is how they are treating her not you. Just know you need to put a little extra on her before and extra on her after. If you want to try a new diaper brand, why not..maybe even for her visits there.
Good Luck and do not let them push into thinking you are doing things wrong.

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M.B.

answers from Hartford on

First of all in dealing with the family I would just say thank you for your opinion, but my doctor and I feel that this is the best diet for her and leave it at that. As far as the rash goes, my son is a rashy baby. I haven't seen an allergist. It sounds to me that you know why she gets the rash though or where it originates. She probably just has sensitive skin. You could bring up your concerns to your doctor about the constant diaper rash, but it will most likely stop anyways once she no longer has the diapers. I also actually have used aquaphor on my sons rashy bottom before. I found it works even better than the nystatin cream.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

You are doing everything right, and THEY are the cause of the problem! Don't listen to the criticism - just because they say it doesn't mean it's true. I think her rash could be caused by a combination of factors at their house - the diet and the diapers/wiping habits.

Do NOT eliminate fiber from your daughter's diet! We American's do not get enough. Do not assume that there are big food allergies at work here - she may have a sensitivity but it's because she doesn't have the right balance to fight off the white flour she is getting from them. You can add a children's supplement called Now for Kids which is outstanding. Even if they won't give it to her, having it at your house will restore enough of the balance in her digestive tract to "hold her over" for a day, most likely. I can help you with the supplement and connect you with other parents whose kids now can eat dairy, soy, wheat and many other products without any issues. Don't start depriving you DD of foods - it's just not necessary. Friends of mine have also gotten rid of supposed peanut allergies by using this supplement. Remember that none of our friends had these allergies when we were young - everyone ate PB on white bread with a glass of milk! It's all new since our foods became processed and our produce got shipped hundreds/thousands of miles after being grown in depleted soils.

Do NOT bother with an allergist - I know you are medically trained but you probably have a lot more nutritional info than many of the doctors. I have many friends who are nurses who will advise you to use Now for Kids - two have been doing this for 18 and 19 years and have even built a phenomenal business! My pharmacist friend finally got well as did her critically ill daughter when they got off the drugs and onto these products. You should see their kids!

If they can't follow your instructions, take your DD away from them and tell them why. I realize you may need the child care for your work shift,, but this is getting ridiculous. Are they trying to make you feel guilty for working, and saying you are a bad mother? Not very supportive. Tell them the pediatrician doesn't want the child going through this anymore and they have to stop changing her diet NOW.

Good luck and stick to your principles.

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J.S.

answers from Boston on

You've got a lot of great responses and I agree that YOU are doing nothing wrong. You are feeding her a healthy diet and clearly the problem happens when she is at your mothers house. I also agree that i wouldn't see an allergist, I would simply pack up all the foods you want her to eat there and let them know that's what they should feed her. I also like the journal - we do the same thing at my house. It keeps my mother in law (who always thinks I am doing things wrong including feeding my dd an organic diet), my mother and our nanny all consistent and lets me track any issues. We also track her sleep and activity and i find it very useful to make correlations.

One other tip - we had a nasty diaper rash when my little one was new and the pediatrician recommended that we DON'T use wipes. I've never used one since and I think it's very helpful - wipes are full of stuff that can irritate, even the "free" ones. Instead, I had a 6 or 12 pack of thin Gerber cloth diapers and cut each dipe into four squares. They are soft and we wet them with warm water to wipe her - using more than one to wipe hygenically front to back after bowel movements if necessary and a fresh one to pat dry.

Also, you could get some cloth training pants (Walmart and Kmart carry) and and wear those on her when you now she'd just gone and let her bum air out with no cream to heal the rash - or even let her wear a dress with nothing on to air out her bum when it's a safe environment.

We use A&D slathered on when she might be in a situation where she'd end up sittign in a dirty dipe, and Balmex has really been helpful in clearing nasty rashes when they do occur

She might also be teething - we've had weird rashes appear when teeth are coming.

Best of luck to you - please do not question your own mothering instincts - you are doing everything right and you must continue to advocate for your child's health. I do agree if you can't get some resolution on this you might have to consider other child care options if possible.

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L.D.

answers from Boston on

This is a yeast overgrowth. Stay away from all sugar and wheat flour. Get supplemental probiotics(good bacteria) specifically for babies at any healthfood store. She could have a sensitivity to wheat and gluten, do an elimination diet to see if that helps. I'm a health counselor with plenty of experience with this, let me know if I can help further.

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S.G.

answers from Boston on

I agree with Isabel 'say Dr's orders' and I bet it's not a white lie, my ped is always fine with being blamed, he knows people don't always listen to the mama - who should be the ultimate authority. It is why I always try to hire babysitters, if you don't like 'em you can just not use them again! Worst babysitter I ever had was a relative! If you can't work paying babysitters, maybe you can trade services with friends? Good luck!

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E.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi - I see you have gotten some good advice - I won't repeat it - (I didnt read thru all responses, so forgive if this is a repeat) - but you could add probiotics to your daughter's diet - could help if it is indeed yeast (and even if it isn't - won't hurt!). I buy All Flora Probiotics (I get it at whole foods) - it's pricey but I feel its worth it. I give my daughter 1/4 teaspoon in some water, and she likes it (I also take it daily, so that probablay helps - she wants to do what mommy does).

It will help keep the balance of good/ bad intestinal flora in balance.

I like the way it tastes, and my daughter has hardly ever had any tummy issues - I think the probiotics help.

Good luck!
E.

D.B.

answers from Providence on

sorry that this is so late...but I wanted to respond anyway.

My son is 3...I have been using baby powder at diaper changes since the day he was born and we have never had any problems with diaper rash...red bums...or irritation. And don't be afraid to pile on the powder...

Hope this helps.

www.daniellewrites.webs.com

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S.A.

answers from Orlando on

Try probiotics for children. You can get it at the vitamin store & even Walgreens has it for children but you have to ask for it at the pharmacy counter.

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G.S.

answers from Boston on

been there done that. My daughter had yeast growing everywhere. Her eyes, her crotch and her neck crease. I finally got to the point of crazyness and I had the MD do the blood work for Allergies. Yep, she had them and now with the correct moisture and medication daily she/me are very happy.
Ignore others and follow your gut. It seems to work for me@

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H.D.

answers from Providence on

Hi R.. It sounds like you are a great mother! Hopefully this issue will resolve, but in the meantime I have a suggestion for the terrible diaper rash. My daughter used to get some bad diaper rashes as well. We used Triple Paste, and it worked WONDERS! It used to be a "special order" item, but it is available now at most stores, I think. Pharmacies and even Target carry it. It is a little pricey, but it is definitely worth the money. Good luck with everything!

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

R.,

I would suggest not having your family watch your daughter. The rash is not from the food she eats it's from sitting in a dirty diaper to long. No alergist needed.

L. M

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D.F.

answers from Boston on

Hi R.,

Sorry to say but they are NOT changing her diaper enough. You sound like a great mom, don't let anyone tell you different. What you need is someone else watching your daughter. She is yours and you know best. No allergist is needed.
If you cannot use anyone else because of financial reasons. Then bring enough food for the whole time she is there. Doctors orders I would tell them, tell them your Dr. is trying to rule out allergies. Buy the Paste for her bottom and put extra on. Make sure they have extra diapers. Good luck! Your doing a fine JOB!

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S.L.

answers from Boston on

Wow. I really don't want to come across harsh or mean, but the answer seems obvious to me. When your daughter is at your mother's house, it seems that her pants are not getting changed as frequently as they should. If the foods that she is getting at home are not affecting her at home, then you are doing nothing wrong. Re-read your request again. You sound like a great mom, doing everything you can to raise a happy, healthy little girl. Look at this from an objective standpoint. You are a nurse? Look at your girl's symptoms, when they get worse, and when they get better. I don't think you should go see an allergist. I think you should talk to your mom and your sister- calmly but firmly. I had to do the same thing with my mom-in-law. They might be on the defensive b/c they know the rashes start at their house. Maybe tell them she has sensitive skin and she needs to be changed frequently? Ultimately, you are the mommy, and what you feed your child is your choice, and I think you are making great choices. Mothers will always know best.

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C.N.

answers from Boston on

First R., It's not you that is the cause of her rash it's your mom and sister. You feed your DD a diet and when she is with them THEY take her off that diet. anyone that has a diet change is going to have some issues. As for the rash no one is going to admit fault so blame the Mom. I used Desitin , coat your daughter butt with it after every changing and for the yeast rash as well as the medication feed her yogurt. Any doctor will tell you as a female, it has to do with the (good) bacteria in yogurt. helps with the yeast. Last but not least if you ask your Mom and Sister to care for your DD then ask them to either follow your diet or supply them with ALL the food you want them to feed your DD. TALK to them if you have to tell them the Docter said not to feed her acidy foods

Good luck.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

I'm sorry to say but if your mom and sister don't want to listen to you then you need to hire a nanny or send your daughter to a daycare where he needs will be met properly. You aren't doing anything wrong except for allowing her to still be watched by them.

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T.Q.

answers from Boston on

hi, i dont know if this will work for you but my daughtrer once had a rash like that and i tryed everything to get rid of it, she was also on the same perscription cream and it helped but it didnt get rid of it, i heard about this stuff called butt paste i bought it at walmart with the baby stuff, i used it for 2 days and the rash was gone, and its all i have used since and anytime she gets a rash its gone within a day usually, hope this helps

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I.M.

answers from Boston on

Hmmmm.... could you tell a little white lie and say - Dr's orders for the rash - diaper change EVERY 2 hours with ample ointment on, and NO pizza (cheese) wheat or sugar.
Even give them a diary to keep track saying you need to turn it into the Doctor for your next visit.

That way - no yelling, no opinions, it is just Dr's orders.

Hope that helps! And good luck!

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K.J.

answers from Boston on

you'll probably get many responses of this type, but let me say you are most likely correct in your assumption that it is the diet your daughter is fed at your mom's house and not your fault! Sounds like it could be a sensitivity to the high sugar content in refined foods- yeast loves that! Or it could be a straight allergy that manifests that way. My daughter was allergic to the food coloring in orange snacks like goldfish and cheez-its and got a rash from those foods- served at her pre-school until I figured it out! If it were me I would try sending her with enough food for the whole day at your mom's and say that you need to rule foods out so please to only give her what you send. If your mom and sister can't help you out, it may be time to find another child-care solution for the weekends. good luck!

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