Raising a 2 1/2 Year Old

M., the way you are handling the store and the park is great.... the hitting thing confuses me though. How does hitting his hand teach him that hitting is not OK... I think that it may just be teaching him that the bigger person is faster and some day he will be the bigger person.. check out Love and Logic ... www.loveandlogic.com. I have learned that no matter what the offence UH-OH time is a very effective technique. It is worth the time to check it out.

Does screaming and whining result in you giving in just to shut him up? If so, then there's no reason for him to stop. If he acts up in the store, take him home. If he acts up in church, take him out. Let him know ahead of time that if he starts misbehaving, then you're going home and he will go immediately into time out when you get there. If he screams when it's time to leave the park, then tell him before you go to the park that if he does that, there will be no more going to the park for the rest of the week. But you have to stick to it.
As for hitting, that has to be stopped immediately. If you let him hit you now and get away with it, he'll be hitting you when he's older and big enough to hurt you. Not to mention that he will hit other people as well. You don't want him to learn not to hit by having someone else beats the living snot out of him when he takes a swing at the wrong person, and if he develops the habit of hitting, it's only a matter of time before that happens.

Hi M. S.
My name is M. D. I might have something that might work. Have you tried time-out. You only put him in for the amount of time that he is old. So, put him in for 2 minutes. Hopefully that will work.
M. D.

You really need to establish who is in control here without acting like him (you yelling and screaming at him, etc). I would recommend setting the guidelines of what you expect out of him BEFORE going to these public places. For example, before you go into the store, tell him "Johnny, we're going into the store now. I expect you to hold my hand in the parking lot and sit in the cart when we get inside. I also expect you to act nicely. If you choose to throw a fit and disobey me, you will be choosing to leave." Then leave when he throws a fit. You can correlate him not getting the food he wants, toys he wants, etc to the fit he threw in the store. "Mommy can't pick up the food you want if you aren't with me. Unfortunately, you chose not to stay in the store on Tuesday because you threw a fit."

Hi M., sounds like the terrible two's! He's testing you to see if he can get his way, because he does want to run the show and he will if he's not disciplined. My advice to you is when he acts up gently slap him on the hand and don't yell, but firmly say no when you do it. (If he tries to hit you back, you might want to use a plastic spoon or a switch instead of your hand). Don't warn him that you're going to hit him, just do it. You will definitely get a reaction from him and he might get his feelings hurt, but at least he'll be crying for a reason. After awhile he's going to associate the word no with a slight pain and he'll know that you're the boss and you mean business! I know it sounds like tough love, but thats why we do it. Because we love our children and we want them to behave and be respectful, especially towards us the parents because we deserve it. They look to us for guidance their entire lives, even as early as 2 1/2!
I hope this helps!
R.

M.,
GOOOD FOR YOU!! As far as the hitting thing goes, my ex did that when he was a kid, and his parents just laughed. Then he started on his baby sister when they would play. NO DISCIPLINE there, either. One day we got into an argument, and my jaw got dislocated by how hard he hit me. It continued to escalate until I was three months pregnant, and then he grabbed me by the throat and put me into the wall. He kept preesing on my throat until the wall broke behind me. I really truly believe all this could have been prevented if his parents had actually made a stand to him when he was younger, so I applaud you and your accomplishments- hopefully, that will be one less abused woman when he is older.

M.,
Let me start out by saying it does get better! My little boy will be 3 in about three weeks and I can't wait. A few months before he turned 2 he his behavior started getting worse. Throughout his entire 2's he's been pretty hard to handle. Doing all the things you mentioned above, screaming when it's time to leve the park, whines when he doesn't get his way, hitting at me if I tell him no. It was terrible! Within the last month this behavior has almost vanished. Just continue to stay firm, do NOT let him get away with hitting you. Make sure you be consistent, give a time out, spanking, take a toy away whatever your form of disciline is do it every time. As for the park thing, I tell my little boy that we can continue coming back if he leaves nicely other wise it will be a while before we come back. When he whines, ask him to use his words. Don't give him whatever it is he is wanting if he is whining make him say it correctly first. Be firm and consistent and let him know you love him. I promise it will get better! Hope this helps.