Quitting Breast Feeding

Updated on February 13, 2008
J.B. asks from Pueblo, CO
23 answers

I am considering quitting breast feeding. My son nurses and we also suppliment with formula during the day when he's at my mother-in-laws while I'm at work. So my question to all the other mothers out there is this. I feel extremely guilty about giving up breast feeding when my child is only 10 weeks old, but it's so inconvienent to pump while at work, should I feel guilty? Am I a bad mother because part of me wants to give it up, but the part of me that loves the quiet closeness doesn't want to? Help!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so very much for your input. It makes me feel so much more confident in making my decision to quit breast feeding and reasurred me that I'm not a bad mother because I opted to quit when my child is less than a year old. I have started the process of drying up and my son is oblivious to the change. He's so easy going that he doesn't care if his food comes from mom or a bottle, just as long as he gets to eat when he's hungry and until he's full.

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A.N.

answers from Odessa on

It is normal to feel guilty. I think? I know I did. you are not a bad mother. If you are stressed about this you baby will know it. Breast milk is a good way to go, but sometimes its easier to go a different route. You have given you baby the colostrum ( I think I spelled that right) and that is whats full of the really really good stuff. Good Luck!

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S.L.

answers from San Antonio on

Don't ever feel guilty for that don't let anyone make you feel bad for it either. I really wanted to breastfeed, but my son had jaundice in the hospital, they told me not to breastfeed him until it was gone, that was 3 days aeay. By then he didn't want to latch on. So I didn't force him. I think it was better because I too have a hectic work life and I don't think they would let me pump on the sales floor. My husband didn't want me to fell bad or guilty, he was very supportive of me. We have a healthy 14 month old son and he is very happy.

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A.K.

answers from Abilene on

I don't think any mother should feel guilty about not breastfeeding, I only breastfed my first daughter for 4 weeks because she would not eat. I tried everything the pediatrician told me, tried herbal supplements to make more milk, and it just didn't work for me. My 2nd daugther was a lot easier to breastfeed but I only breastfed her until she was 4 months because it was too time consuming having a 2 year old and trying to make her be patient for up to 45 min. You are not a bad mother, maybe you could try weaning him down to just a feeding at night before bed and one in the morning before work. Then you still get the closeness, he still gets the nutrients but you don't have to worry about pumping at work. It may take a few weeks but just take away one pumping time out until you are down to the feeding in the morning and the feeding at night.

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A.C.

answers from Killeen on

Dear J.,
With my first daughter I breastfeed and used supplimental formula feeding. When she was also around 10 weeks old I decided to just feed her formula during the day, and at night I breastfeed her so I still had the chance to spend that bonding time with her. Since, I was only breastfeeding her at night I did not produce alot of milk so I didn't have to pump. I hope this helps you. You are not being a bad mother by feeding your baby formula. And the 10 weeks you did breastfeed him was benifical. I agree that breastfeeding is good, but I think our society has put a lot of pressure on women to breastfeed. There is nothing wrong to switching to formula.

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S.K.

answers from Wichita Falls on

Don't feel guilty!! Nursing is a very difficult and time consuming thing to do. Especially when you work. I could only breastfeed my 2 boys for 6 weeks each. Then with going back to work I just wasn't making enough milk and yes pumping at work is inconvient. At least you've done it for this long. You can still make feeding him a bottle quiet and close. Eating regardless of how is a bonding time with babies because you have to hold them. Do what's best for the both of you. Formula's are very good these days. So don't feel guilt even though I know it's hard not too!!

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N.L.

answers from San Antonio on

I agree with the other posting that you can feed your baby when you are around and over the weekends. One other thing you can try is to pump one breast while you nurse your baby during night feedings and in the morning. I did this with my second baby and it worked great! That might give you some extra milk. Also just remember, you won't always have to pump this much. The baby is still young, but in a few short months you might only have to pump once a day while you are gone. I would just encourage you to nurse your baby when you are with him. I had to pump a lot with my first son because I was working and trust me, it gets easier! Don't give up completely! Think of your little guy too! He loves nursing and that close quiet time probably more than you do! You can also contact a La Leche League leader in your area if you need more support or ideas! Good luck!

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P.F.

answers from Austin on

It's true what some of the other ladies are posting- your supply will adjust and you'll be able to still provide him with breastmilk in the evenings and in the night for your special time together. It's great for him, and you won't be up in the dark mixing bottles- a win win!

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R.

answers from San Antonio on

You don't have to give up the closeness of breastfeeding. When I used to work I never pumped, but just fed my daughter in the evening and I was able to keep up my milk supply enough just for that. During the day she stayed with grandma and had formula. I did that until she was about 16 months old.

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M.C.

answers from Amarillo on

You are not a bad mother! Your baby has gotten breastmilk for nearly 3 months of his little life. That is a great accomplishment too, no matter how long you breastfeed. I have to hand it to the working moms who pump, I could never do it, I hate the pump with a passion, so I can understand your frustration. Your son will thrive just as well on formula too.
My first was bf for 2 weeks and then formula fed, and I am currently nursing my 2nd.
Quitting breastfeeding is hardly a reason to make you a bad mother! Good luck

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M.H.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I agree with all the responses it is hard to breast feed when you have such a busy life and even if you breast fed from birth the baby should have gotten enough of the good vitamins that they need, my daughter tried using mothers milk by pumping and they told her to at least do it a few weeks to let him get the nutrients he needs, and then go to formula, he is thriving very well for a little one weighing in at 4lbs 13oz 6 wks early, he is now 15lbs 5/1/2 mos old and very active.

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T.C.

answers from Austin on

just remember that they made formula for a reason. they made it to where the baby gets the same nutrients. yes breastfeeding they say may be better and of course its the bests feeling ever to have that special moment with your baby. but i would do what makes you feel better. you only feel guilty because you love that bond and feeling you have. but on the other side of things you will have that bond when you feed him the bottle too. but you can always just feed him when you are at home on the breast. i wouldnt feel guilty. because you should do what makes it easier for you.

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K.F.

answers from Dallas on

I know exactly how you are feeling. I recently gave up breastfeeding too after 4 months. I had decided in my mind that I was going to keep it up for a certain period and after that time I would wean my daughter off. I never would have expected the anxiety and panic I felt when I tried to stop. Being able to breastfeed is something that can only occur to a woman when she has given birth. What if this was my only child? What if I never had any other children? I knew so many other women that could not even breastfeed because they were never able to produce enough milk and I was taking this miracle for granted. Plus, it was so easy to breastfeed her at night rather than get up to make a bottle. I was torn. But eventually I decided to keep with my original plan and stop when I had said I would. I wanted my body back. Not to mention that if I stopped breastfeeding it would give my husband an opportunity to help more and bond with her. What helped me was the knowledge that you are lucky to have breastfed your child as long as you have. The health benefits of breastfeeding have already been met so it is up to you when you want to take your body back. You are no less a loving mother or woman if you stop after 6 weeks, 10 weeks or a year. Be thankful that you were able to keep it up as long as you did!

Good luck! I know it is hard.

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J.S.

answers from San Antonio on

DO NOT feel guilty!! Part of your son's well-being is your own well being. I am a stay at home mom and I am breastfeeding. I cannot imagine how hard it would be to have to pump every two-three hours during the day!! The closeness we feel while breastfeeding is certainly hard to give up but we can have just as strong a bond with our children by bottle feeding, it is just a little different. That's all!! Your child will still get the nutrition he needs. Do whatever works best for you....and don't worry about it!!

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A.S.

answers from Lubbock on

I do not think that breastfeeding defines whether or not you are a good mother.I think that is defined by how much you love your child.There are many moms who give up on breastfeeding.Some mothers never even produce milk.The formulas that we have now are almost as healthy as the breast milk.i do not think you should feel guilty at all.Breastfeeding is a matter of personal choice.It does not make you a better mom or a worse mom.I think the fact that you are so concerned about it shows how much you love your baby and it sounds like you are a great mom

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L.M.

answers from Wichita Falls on

J.
No your not a bad mother. Their is nothing wrong with not breast feeding until your child 1 or 2 years old. I breast feed my oldest son for about 2 months which was a battle he didn't want the breast very much. But he got the most important stuff and he turn out just find. My daughter started off great on the day we were released their was a nurse who took her to check her blood sugar and she gave her a bottle witch she knew she wasn't aloud to but she did it behind my back after that she wouldn't take the breast. That was only 3 days, she turned out fine. So don't worry about what other people say. It's your choice, your body, your life, If it would make life just a little easier for you at this time in your life go for it. Your husband can get up at night time and other times and feed her, witch will help in so many different way for you and your emotions. It dosn't mean in ANY WAY THAT YOUR A BAD MOTHER.
Good Luck, L.
P.S. My children who are 8 & 3yrs are healthy children my 8yr old have had 2 ear infections in his life First little fever after 1yrs old My 3yr old 1 ear infection and no fever until after 1 year old. So don't worry about them getting sick just because you stoped breast feeding. Its the envirement where the kids are. Both of my children to this date will sometime pick up a germ if their is a few kids at school sick just like any other kid will.

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M.R.

answers from San Antonio on

Dear J.,

I had to quit breastfeeding my son when he was six weeks old because my breastmilk was making him very gassy and giving him lots of stomach problems. I tried everything even changing my diet so extremely that I was basically just eating bread and water. I had a wonderful pediatrician and the support of many friends who pointed out that even one week of breastfeeding provides alot of beneficits to babies.
I was pumping my breasts full time because he wouldn't latch on properly and let me tell you, it was very rough on my breasts and on me. The logistics of hauling the pump around, sterilizing the pump parts everytime, etc. was a nightmare.

I bottle now and I can guarantee it is a much better experience for my baby and me than breastfeeding because it would take me 5-10 minutes to try to latch him, then he wouldn't latch on right on all the while he was screaming his little lungs out because he was so hungry. I was totally stressed out and so was he. I saw several lactation consultants with no luck.

I have made the decision to be a stay at home mom. He is now 4 months old, above average in weight, and extremely healthy. He's never been sick once. So it shows that quitting breastfeeding early was not so bad after all. In an ideal situation, breastfeeding until babies are 1 year old is the best, but moms need to remember that everyone is different and some of us struggle alot more than others.

Good luck with your decision and feel good about the 10 weeks you did breast feed.

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S.R.

answers from San Antonio on

Hey J.,
Don't feel guilty. I was only able to breast feed all three of my children for about 2 months before my limited milk supply dried up. All three of our children were healthy happy babies. You've breast feed the most important part, the colostrum. You need to do what is best for you and your little guy. Try just nuring in the morning and at night if you don't want to fully give it up your body will adjust accordingly. But rest assured that you are not a bad mom and that your baby will be just fine. Your love is more important than what kind of milk he is drinking.
Good Luck!

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L.B.

answers from El Paso on

I don't think that it makes any one a bad mother for not wanting to breast feed, but it is the absolute best for the baby. I breastfed for a whole year and my daughter never gets sick. A friend of mine didn't breastfeed either one of hers and they are constantly sick. I think that if you just put up with the pumping now, you will truly reap the benifits later. A heathly baby is a happy baby!:) Perservere, you can do it!

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S.C.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi J.,
I myself breastfed my son as well as supplemented w/ formula for my son's first 8 weeks. When I went back to work I wanted to continue to breastfeed but there was no quiet, private area at my work that would allow me to pump so I had to make the decision to either continue to pump (but in the ladies restroom...I thought that was yuckie because of all the possible germs) or to discontinue the breastfeeding. I did decide, after thinking about it long and hard, that I would not breastfeed any longer. It was hard for me to stop breastfeeding because like you said there is a quiet bond that you have while your breastfeeding but if the situation becomes a little overwhelming (which can happen w/ breastfeeding sometimes) and you want to stop, that doesnt make you a bad mommy. The fact that this is a hard decision for you to make, alone, shows that you truely love your little one and that makes you a great mommy. I cant speak for everyone but it was a pretty hard decision for me to make because knowing about all the benefits of breastmilk, but sometimes the hardest decisions to make are for the best. For the first two weeks after giving up breastfeeding I would continue to do skin to skin while I bottle fed my son and litlle by little I started to wheen myself from breastfeeding my son!! LOL Nobody ever told me that I would have to get wheened off of breastfeeding!! LOL But dont feel guilty. You will do whats best for you and your new family. Take care and good luck. Hope this helps.

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N.W.

answers from Odessa on

I had a hard time pumping, but never invested in a hospital grade one. With my second son, I breastfed him but then had formula during the day with the sitter. He did fine with having both. Just a thought, or if you really want to try pumping, maybe you could rent a hospital grade, they are fast it worked well for my sister.

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S.P.

answers from Austin on

Do not feel bad! I quit breast feeding at 3 weeks, it just didn't work and it wasn't for me. It is ok, do not let the pressure of other mothers or family members or your husband make you feel guilty. Keep in mind, they are not having to be the one to actually do the act. You should and can make this decision for yourself. The baby will still be close to you and will still know that you are his mom even if you do not breastfeed. Mine does. Keep your chin up, motherhood is glorifying, never feel guilty for the decisions you make. Also, (knock on wood) my son has never even ran a fever. And he is a big healthy boy.

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H.L.

answers from San Antonio on

Dont feel gulity. Feel proud that you at least did that. There are so many mothers out there that do not even try or want to. Stand up with your head up high and be proud that you did what you could. I breastfeed for 10mths and it got to the point where I only fed him at night. To put him so sleep and when he would wake up in the morning. Other than that I had no problems with giving him a bottle during the day and he did well with it. But feel good about what you did. I know it is hard. Trust me I know. But then I thank myself for doing what I could!!

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R.R.

answers from Odessa on

Don't feel like a bad mother. Look at it this way, you made it 10 weeks! That's more than alot of people do. I nursed my 2 for about a year each, but I didn't have to worry with pumping either time. I can say I probably wouldn't have continued that long if I had to pump. You gave him a great start! Do what you think is best, and don't let anyone make you feel bad about your decision.

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