Quick Question Regarding a Birthday Party

Updated on November 01, 2007
J.Y. asks from Chicago, IL
16 answers

I am throwing a party for my child at a movie theatre. I have received several rsvp's that include both of the children's parents, not just one. Is it customary to pay for all of the parents tickets as well? If not, how do I explain this to the parents?

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H.F.

answers from Lafayette on

When I threw my son's 3rd birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's, I paid for everyone's (including parents) food and drinks and all the kids got at least 20-25 tokens from us. I just didn't it was right to ask the parents to come out of their pockets any more, when they were buying my son gifts as it was. That's just my feeling about it.

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

as a parent, I would definitely assume we both were invited at the expense of the host/ess unless it was specified as a dropoff party.

It is no different than a party at someone's home or at chuck E cheese or whatever. If you expect the parents to pay their own way anywhere, you really need to make that clear on the invite though so they can decide if they want to attend. ofr myself, if an invite said that only one of us were "comped" for lack of a better word, and the other would not be, we simply would not attend unless it were for a good friends and I knew they had money problems or soemthing...

Sorry to sound like miss manners, but it makes me think of an acquaintance who had her daughter's party as a potluck luncheon.. we all just thought it was tacky to do that. You chose the venue, you should pay the tab, for both parents if they want to come...

just my $4.95 (inflation)

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D.T.

answers from Indianapolis on

How old is your child and the ages of the invited guests? Around here, it's pretty common for both parents to attend the birthday party their child gets invited to -- if that child is the only child, or the other children are also friends of the birthday child's older sibling. For instance, last weekend my 3 year old was invited to a friend's 3rd birthday party. My husband took our newborn baby and also our 5 year old because they are family friends. The birthday boy has a brother my son's age. I would've gone, but I had another committment at that time. The drop-off parties (no parents) tend to start with the 5th birthday.

Usually the number of parents showing up doesn't matter because the parents tend to not eat the food/cake and most places charge per child - not adults. If it's a case like yours where you do need to pay for the adults then I would've addressed the invitation to 'child and 1 adult' or something like that to avoid any confusion.

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

how old are the children coming to the party? You could call and let the parent know how many parents you have helping out and that if she wanted to stay she would have to buy her own ticket. You do have to keep in mind of safety of the children. I have done movie bday parties. I have to say they are hard because you can not send kids alone to the bathroom and if you go you are leaving kids behind.. so... if you dont have helpers to help you. then I would just tell the parents that RSVP'd they are more then welcome to stay however they must help out and you will pay for the ticket..

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the rest of the postings...How did the invitation read? If it is just for the kids but parents want to stick around then I say a definite heck no!!!! You are however, obligated to pay for the children attending.

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

I would think it depends on what day of the week the party is being held on. I've noticed that with parties where the kids aren't old enough for drop-off yet, one parent is generally in attendance on weekday parties, while weekend parties there's about a 25-30% chance of a second parent coming along - especially if there is more than one child that the mother has to deal with. Personally, I tried to figure that cost in for my own kids' parties this year. But I'm the type of person who likes to encourage the "dads" to come along so my husband can make some new friends too.

I agree, however, that it would depend on how your invitation was worded. I specifically said "dads welcome too!" on the invitations I sent out, to make sure that nobody would worry about whether or not they could bring their husband (since I generally do worry whether it's okay or not). Then again, I did weekend parties and know a lot of moms who'd just had a second child and would want their husband along to help them out.

So, it also may depend on the type of crowd you have. I'd think about what the other parents have been doing at their parties too and that may determine what the expected status quo might be...

Good luck!

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M.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

We just went to a skating party where they parents paid for the kids skates, food, and drinks. If the parents wanted to skate then they had to pay for there own and there food. I did not have a problem paying. I know how expesive it can be. We knew before hand and not one parent left. There were a least 30 kids there and there parents. Maybe you can hand out something like "admit one" if you decided not to pay.

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J.

answers from Chicago on

i would buy the kids tickets ahead of time and pass them out

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L.

answers from Chicago on

It really depends on the age of your kids. 6 and under, I would expect the parents to attend and would pay for them. 7 and up, let them know it's a drop off party. But if they would like to stay they would have to buy their own ticket.

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J.A.

answers from Chicago on

You are absolutely NOT responible for paying for every Tom, Dick ,Tim, Harry or Sherry, etc. IT IS A KID's PARTY!! The parents, should understand that, because it is a no-brainer. The kid's are invited, and that is who you are responsible for. (other than grandparents, etc) Period. Buy the tickets ahead of time, and hand them out, to the children attending. Tell the parents what time the party is over with, and they are welcomed to do whatever they wish, but, it is a kid's party, and that is where your full attention will be.

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A.

answers from Bloomington on

Honestly, I wouldn't pay for any of the parents. It isn't about the parents the party is for the kids. I am having a party for my son at McDonalds playplace and I am buying all of the food for the kids but not the parents. The parents are welcome to stay and buy their own food or have cake and ice cream, but again the party is for the kids not the parents. I put on my invitations they were welcome to drop their child off and then put the time the party ended. I would think that most parents would know/understand that. It can be expensive as it is, it is not customary to pay for the parents. Unless you already offered to pay for one parent, I would just say you are taking care of paying for all of the children and they are welcome to pay and stay or to leave their child and give a pick up time. If you offered to pay for one and you stated that or that is all you planned just say I appreciate everyone wanting to join you and child for this event unfortuanately you can only pay for one parent. I am not sure what your invitations were but maybe they expect to pay for themselves but want to let you know they are coming along. I would just check with them, most parents are understanding of these situations.
A.

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K.V.

answers from Chicago on

J.,

I went to a birthday party at the movies with my son because he wouldn't let me leave. I never even thought that the mom would pay for me. I bought my own ticket. You can check with the movie theatre and ask if there even is a charge since they are not really coming to watch just for thier children. I hope this helps.

K.

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J.

answers from Chicago on

It seems like for the preschool years - under age 6 or so - birthday party invitations assume a parent will come along. Two seems a bit much, but I think I'd be flattered - must be a good party you throw! Seriously, I think as long as you are clear (so someone doesn't show up without any cash to pay for their theater ticket) it will be fine to let the other parents pay their own way.

You could send an email: "I have already purchased the tickets for the children - would you like to pick up your child's ticket ahead of time, or would you like to meet me at the theater to pick it up?" something along those lines.

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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

You know my little one is too litte for this kind of thing yet, but I wouldn't pay for all the parents unless you have the extra money and you want to. I would just explain to them that they are welcome to come but that you are on a budget and are unable to pay for the parents to attend as well. I am sure that they will all understand and it won't be a problem!

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A.

answers from Chicago on

I agree that you should be paying for the parent(s) and if, in for a future party (perhaps based on age of the kids), you decide you do not need or prefer parents stay, then note that it is a drop-off party and what the charge is if a parent wants to stay.

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A.L.

answers from Indianapolis on

OH BOY! Well, that would depend on how your invitation was worded. If it invited the child and did not discuss you paying for the parents, or didn't say something about "RSVP how many adults and how many children," then you are in luck. You are only assumed to be paying the childs admission....but like I said, it is all how you worded it. I would try for only the KIDS...and parents don't mind paying their own way if is was not touched on.

Don't be bashful when it comes to offering out admission passes either....if it looks to them (parents) that you are picking up the kids tickets, and you say how many children do we have here....then you go get the kids passes and hand them out to the kids...the parents will follow your lead and stand in line themselves. DO NOT PUT YOURSELF IN THAT SPOT! YOU WILL BE RESENTFUL ABOUT IT.

Good luck!

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