Questions for Moms Who Have a Nanny

I think it works if you set the rules up front and do NOT interfere with the nanny and her displine. When your Nanny is there, the kids have to respect that she is the boss. If you are a person that can listen to one of the kids have a melt-down or have a few tears or for another adult to take charge without EVER popping in, then it will worke awesome. The cases that it does not work is when 1 of the 3 parties (Nanny, Kids, Parent) is confused about who is in charge and who to listen to. I do feel it is amazing for the children to be home in their own enviroment. I do think preschool is an amazing social thing for preschool years, but the younger muffins would get so much out of being home. You do not really state if you are planning on working with income from home or if this Nanny would just be to aid you while you work with domestics from the home. If it is for income, I think it works well as you have a seperate life but if it is to work beside you, then that is a little odd. When we take our Nanny on vacation with us, the boundaries are the hardest... Good Luck!

I'm also working from home and since the beginning of the year, we have a nanny. It works very well.
She comes at 8am, when we are finishing breakfast. Then, I take a shower and go to my office. I lock the door. My husband used to also work from home and we would share the office (a small bedroom), but no child is allowed inside.
The first couple of days were though because they knew I was here and wanted to come in but they understood rather quickly that when mom works, she is not available.
At noon, the nanny cooks for all the family and we have lunch together. Then, depending on my work load I go back to work or read the nap time story to the kids. Then, I'm back to work.
Sometime, I take a coffee/tea break around 3pm with the nanny before the kids wake up.
I stop working around 4:50 and have 10 minutes with the nanny and kids to talk about their day before she leaves.
I do nothing around the house when the nanny is here, as I'm working - except for laundry loads. I clean and do house chores in the evening when the children are sleeping.
I don't know how old are your children but for us this works well. Children have the same environment and the rules are consistent. It helped with potty training, weaning from the bottle... and other transitions

Hi SH,

I was am a Certified Professional Nanny, (retired), I have worked in homes where the parents are there and not. It's really up to your personality if you could work there or not. I worked with one family, Mom would go into the office and be fine. I had to be strong about not allowing the children to "bug" her and she had to be strong about telling the kids to go play, but it worked well for 4 years.

A different family, the Mom wanted us out of the house until nap time, that was REALLY tough. It was Oregon in the fall/winter, so parks were out and there is only so many times you can go to McD's playland. That was not the best experience for any of us. When we were in the house, Mom wasn't working and didn't allow me to correct the children. She popped her head in every time a tear rolled.

Additionally, it can be strange to have a person in your home all day. I am a parent coach now, and I help parent choose child care. I tell the parents that they must feel OK allowing this person in their home AND realize it is not just your home, but also her work enviroment. So leaving dinner dishes in the sink over night for her to work around at breakfast the next morning in a no, no.

I hope this helps. I know it's a big issue.

R. Magby

If you have not decided yet, here is another option for you. I find the au pairs to be very energetic and able to fit so well into families!
The benefits to the au pair program that it is affordable, cost remains the same regardless of the number of children, flexible shedule that can be tailored weekly to fit your needs. You the family gets local support. The au pair program arranges the visa and flights. The au pairs have health insurance.
Cultural Care also offers a personalized matching service.
This is just a few of the benefits of the au pair program.
If you would like more information please feel free to visit our website
www.culturalcare.com and or call 1-800-333-6056 option 2

____@____.com

Updated

If you have not decided yet, here is another option for you. I find the au pairs to be very energetic and able to fit so well into families!
The benefits to the au pair program that it is affordable, cost remains the same regardless of the number of children, flexible shedule that can be tailored weekly to fit your needs. You the family gets local support. The au pair program arranges the visa and flights. The au pairs have health insurance.
Cultural Care also offers a personalized matching service.
This is just a few of the benefits of the au pair program.
If you would like more information please feel free to visit our website
www.culturalcare.com and or call 1-800-333-6056 option 2

____@____.com

It depends on many things. You didn't say how many kids or talk about the hours you work. There is connivence with a nanny. You can mutually set her schedule and you don't need to worry about who will care for them when they get sick and you have to go to work. The kids will get sick when they start being around other kids. Doesn't matter if it's daycare, preschool or school, they will get sick a lot more for about the first year. I also had the nanny do the kids laundry. Whether it feels weird to have someone in your house depends more on your personality and the nanny's. We always tried to treat the nanny as part of the family. Personally I believe that kids learn from different adults in their life. Having responsible adults in their life who care about them is a good thing. I don't believe parents are the sole teachers in their child's life and I don't think they should be. No nanny will be perfect. So pick your battles carefully. For example, She could be more messy than you would like, but the kids like her and she is responsible, then live with extra mess. Legally you have to withhold taxes, pay social security, unemployment insurance, and disability. Many don't do this and pay under the table. Beware if you don't pay these things and your nanny leaves (in her mind) on bad terms she could cause you a lot of trouble legally. My kids are older now, but we had nannies until recently. My husband travels a lot and my colleagues and I have to cover 24/7 so the nanny thing was really the only option. We have survived the occasional not great nanny. We now have a lot of stories the kids like to tell. I think it makes us closer. Best of luck!

We had an au pair and that was wonderful!!! We are looking to hire another one through Cultural Care. The cost is $7.30 per hour 45 hours a week. The au pair is in charge of everything kids - meals, clean up, rooms, toys, and teaching/playing with the kids.
Our nanny was out of this world from Brazil. The kids loved her and so did we. She kept them super busy on a great schedule and everyone was happy and well taken care of.
My husband and I both work from home. It is an amazing, affordable luxury.
Good luck!
C.

We have always had a nanny for our son and daughter, and we love it. Each of us works from home at times, and we are able to do so without much ado. If you find the right nanny, the right fit for your family, it does not feel odd to have someone else in the house. I am frequently relieved that she is there as she helps out in so many little ways (dishes, laundry, light cleaning) in addition to caring for our little ones. Our experience has been that a nanny can be an amazing teacher. Our nanny does circle time with our toddlers - music, reading, singing. She does amazing art projects, teaching them about shapes, textures, creativity. She takes them on walks to explore the neighborhood, teaching them about sidewalks, stop signs, flowers, trees, and animals. She takes them to parks for play time and socializing with peers. She provides routine, structure, and consistency just as a preschool would provide. Our kids have thrived in her care. We are definitely advocates for working with a nanny! Good luck!

I think that the home environment is better for the children. It is great to schedule some play-dates for your children to make sure they are still getting the social interaction. Right now you can get some great nannies, teachers out of work, early childhood majors, etc. Do an in depth interview. Don't be afraid to have nanny cameras if you are uncomfortable, a good nanny will except them anyway. If you are going to be home, make it a point from the first day to the nanny that you will be there, but you are going to be busy and you want her to keep about her day with the children as if you weren't (unless it is an emergency). That is good for you, the nanny, and the children to keep your day on tract.It also helps if the nanny and children have a separate area of the house, like a play room.

preschool ALL the way! your kid will learn so much more by just being with other children, and they have structured activities that are just like real school (but more fun), and the kids learn to socialize and problem-solve. a nanny may just make the kids feel like the world revolves around them, to have someone breathing down their necks all the time, and an adult that's there all the time JUST FOR THEM. it's a very contrived environment. and to have both of you there would be awkward at times. you will want to intervene and it will use up your time and energy. plus preschool is cheaper.

good luck with your decision!

I think it partly depends on how much you can afford to spend for childcare. A nanny would need to cost more, because you are the only one providing her support. In a childcare setting the cost is shared, but so is the attention your child would get. You also have the option of home daycare where you take your child to someone's home and they care for other children as well. This option would give your son socialization on a smaller scale than a daycare center, and would most likely cost you less than either the center or the nanny. Each option has it's positive and negative points. You just need to study them out and decide which works best for you and your child.

Hello SH, I have had a Day CAe, and have been a Nanny ( also have several children of my own).
Being a Nanny and working with the childen is wonderful in thier own enviroment. When mom has a conferance call then we make arrangements to have luch outside or outside time, or she does it wile they nap. I am not expected to be a maid as well so I have the full responsibility of child care and I have set boundries and rules the children go by. I pick a theme for the day, let them pick a letter of the day and we search all day for things with that letter. The parents have either provided thier choice for meals and snacks or I have the right to prepare what I choose I find out the day before as a rule but not always. I have set hours and get over time if I am to stay longer.
I know that I have worked only 3 hours and as many as 9 on different days.
So it all depends on what you are trying to get for yourself. I really wish oyu well. There ae great pre-schools out there so talk to other parents to see wic to avoid. Good Luck

I would like to respond from a nanny point of view. I work for a family for ouver 10 years and the mom was a stay at home mom who was very busy. She and I got along great, when I was there I was in charge and the kids knew it. that's why she hired me. If you afford it, it is worth every penny. Pretty much the kids and I left the house wether to go to the mall to play or movies, bowling whatever. I did do things around the house for her also, like the kids' laundry and tidying up their play area or bedrooms. I was paid $10 an hour under the table. In the begining i was full time 40 hrs a week then it was slowly cut back as the kids grew up and differant activites took them at differant times. Also it was nice that if I had an appt she would work around that or if they wanted date nite they knew they could count on me to be there with the kids. gl

I think a combination of both is ideal: it gives your children the advantage of socialization and one-on-one attention (and a back-up if you child is sick).

We started with a live-out nanny but ended up with a live-in au pair. We enjoyed having someone in the house (much to my chagrin) as they became like part of the family (like an aunt or big sister). We have had 16 au pairs over the years (two at a time since we had 4 under the age of 2!) and have enjoyed the experience. It is much more affordable (only $7.20 an hour) and flexible (you can do a split shift and change the schedule every week. We like having date nights! I work from home and have never minded having someone in the house.

After our great experience, I now help families navigate the au pair process (that's key) if you decide on that option. Good luck! www.dschwarz.aupairnews.com. Here are some article that I wrote about finding the right one: http://www.marinmommies.com/tips-au-pair-trenches-our-fif... or
http://www.marinmommies.com/node/1157