Questions About Weaning

I guess I would wonder why you want to be away from your infant longer than the time in between feedings. It's only for a short part of your life. I am a true believer in nursing until the baby wants to stop. I had one wean herslf, suddenly, at 15 months and one that really didn't want to give it up...she was 3. La Leche League says don't offer/don't refuse for the weaning thing. Your baby is only 8 weeks. I nursed 2 of my 3 children, no other food, until they were a year old and they started grabbing food out of my hand! I can count on one hand how many times they have been sick. "Breast is Best", it's perfect for baby, it's great for your breast health, shrinks your uterus back to normal...not to mention it is always ready, the right temperature and you don't have to go to the store to get it! Stick with it...I think you will be so sad if you give up that wonderful time with your baby to go "to out". It's something only you can do for your baby. Hold on as long as you can, they grow up WAY too fast. My children are 29, 26 and 24....and yes, it seems like just yesterday...snuggle while you can, she'll be off and running before you know it!

The guilt is pointing you toward something you believe but aren't willing to live, or are living and don't believe. I can't tell you what that is for sure, but your use of the word 'selfish' is probably a clue.

Trust me, your baby will be busy wanting to spend time with everyone else on the planet but you very soon. Very, very soon. Why start her out on the journey by teaching her right now that you want to be anywhere but with her?

I didn't wean my babies, they weaned themselves. It has been years and years and years since either of them nursed, and they are never, ever going to again.

Today (again) I am alone at home because one of my children is living and working 3 hours north of here and the other one spends the majority of her week out, working, at friends', dancing or skating. Next week she's going to Disneyland with her dance troupe. Then I'll have the whole house to myself the whole day, and my husband to myself the whole night. She's gone over a weekend, so we'll have the whole weekend to be as free as we like. Yippee. Freedom.

You know, as ready as I am for her to be at this stage... it came a lot faster than I was prepared for, and I miss her.

If you wean your little one, you will be adding something to her diet that has never been tested as safe or effective, that is known to increase disease and decrease immune function, is linked to obesity and is still being tinkered with in the ingredient list because they add things that seem necessary and find out five years later that it causes brain damage or diabetes or impairs growth or creates obesity... And you will lose out on the single thing you can do by choice to lower your risk of pre-menopausal breast cancer.

Of course, then there's Alfie Kohn's take on the subject: if you didn't want your lifestyle to change at all, why did you have a baby instead of buying a goldfish? Surely *someone* mentioned that your life would change...

J.,

Please don't stop nursing your little infant! I work as a daycare provider and am also a Mother of 3 and I can tell you from much experience that nursing babies are much healthier, more alert, they sleep better, and they don't get constipated. I have nursed all 3 of my children for 9 months. My children have never had an ear infection, a cold, or the flu while nursing and they have no allergies to this day. There would be sick children coming to my daycare and my nursing children would not get sick. All of my daycare children that I cared for were sick so much!! If it wasn't constipation, than it was the flu or they had a runny/nose or stuffy nose like all of winter and I am NOT exaggerating here. Its true! I can't tell you enough how good it is for a baby to be breastfeed! If you want to be a good Mom its the one thing that you can do and look back on and say at least I breastfed my child and gave her the best food there is! Just remember the time goes by VERY fast! I try to tell this to new Moms who don't want to give up their precious time to be with their baby. Just give your baby what he/she needs 1st. Remember you come second now. The baby is #1 and after a while you'll learn when you'll have time for yourself. There are ways to breastfeed and still have time for yourself. Trust me! A lot of us women do it and you can too!!! I pumped my milk and stored it so when I went out with my hubby on our boat the baby would have milk when I was gone. I even pumped my milk on the boat and stored it in our cooler so that I would be more comfortable by not being too full. I'll never forget the 1st time when out after having my 1st baby. I thought that if I didn't pump every 4 hours then my milk would go away and so when my husband and I went out to have a nice romantic dinner when my baby was about 8 weeks I ran to the bathroom and pumped and dumped in the stall..it took like 20 minutes, but I did it cuz I didn't want to lose my milk by being away from my baby for too long. After I had my second I didn't worry so much and I realized that your milk doesn't really "go away" as long as you feed your baby as soon as you get home and frequently afterwards. Your milk will accommodate your babies needs. I hope you decide to stick with it! It will get easier and its the best thing for baby! Please send me a message if you have any questions! Marci

You need to do what's best for you and your baby and no matter what decision you make don't let anyone make you feel bad for it. When I had my first, I did both formula and breast milk because I was in school. I would nurse in the morning, after school, and evening and the rest of the time he got a bottle with formula. Perhaps if you wanted to continue to nurse you could just replace one or two feedings with formula and nurse the rest to allow you more freedom. If you do decide to wean all the way you will want to gradually replace feedings to avoid engorgement.

J.,

First of all, while breastfeeding is best, it is your choice to do. So, don't feel bad or guitly if you decide to stop.

I nursed my first for 4 mos-- but had to supplement him too, so he always took a bottle with formula as well. My second is 4 mos and I couldn't nurse her due to some strange pains I was having from nursing. I understand your feeling that it is hard to get away and or do things while nursing.

The other writer is correct though- as long as you're physically comfortable leave a bottle of pumped milk or formula if you need to leave for awhile and continue nursing.

You can also ween so that you nurse in the am and evenings and do bottles throughout the day.

Good luck.

Why can't your husband give formula, when you can't be there? Then there will be no need to pump. I breatsfed both of my children, but never did like to pump, so if I was away and they were hungry they had formula most of the time.

Also, like the other mom said it does get easier, and as time goes on the frequency or their needing to nurse will decrease. GL in whatever you choose!

Hi J.,

Oh, the first couple of months are the hardest times. I remember being so tired. I was feeling the same thing that you were, since my son went on a bottle strike and would only nurse. I considered quitting, but I (thankfully) wanted to make sure and so I waited. Right around 3 months, my son dropped two nursing times and he only ate 4 times a day. I thought that there was something wrong with him and I took him to the doctor. He was totally fine. So, I could nurse him in the morning, go away for an entire day, and only need to pump once. He had started taking the bottle again by then too. Now, we just weaned since he is a year old, and I cried several times. I am so glad that I stuck it out. It was the best time. He too stayed relatively healthy for his first year of life. He did get ear infections, but that was related to the shapes of his tubes. My husband and I both got the flu pretty badly, but my son did not. I also got severe broncitis and my son stayed healthy. I attribute that to nursing. Overall, my advice is just to wait a little longer and make sure that you want to quit. It sure will get easier. Also, just think...you can use the money you would be spending on formula to get massages every month!

I am the mother of 2 - 2 year old girl nursed for 10 months.. and 8 month old boy still nursed.. (I weaned my duaghter because I was pregnant with my son)

My children are extremely healthy. My duaghter was never sick (not even a cold) until I stopped nursing her.. and never went to the dr. for an illness until she was 2 years old..(just normal colds) I think the breastmilk has kept them healthy.

Breastfeeding is hard. I have cried and wanted to quit many times.. I have taken both children off the breast and pumped only on several occasions when I needed to heal.

So I commend you for nursing for 8 weeks. The first weeks are the hardest.

It will continue to get easier. At this stage you have to feed or pump very often.. but in time your supply will diminish and you willnot have to pump so often. I can be out all day and not pump and it is not a problem.

It is your decision on how long you nurse but I would hope that you continue. It is the best for the baby and in the big picture of your life nursing a baby is just a short while... In a few months she will eat baby food and drink from a cup and you will have more freedom..

If you want to wean her.. start replacing one nursing with a bottle of formula. After 3 or 4 days replace a second nursing with a bottle of formula. Breast milk is a supply and demand system.. so if the baby stops nursing your body will stop producing. Continue replacing nursing with formula until the baby is ony on formula..