Early Baby-led Weaning?

Updated on April 29, 2010
C.H. asks from Minneapolis, MN
17 answers

I have been planning to let LO self-wean (or at least go until 2 yrs), but I never thought it would happen this soon. She is over 11 months, and the last week or so has drastically reduced her nursing. I offer, but she will not do it. Or she takes a few sips and pushes me away. I know most BF experts say that no baby self-weans this early, so this must be a nursing strike or supply issue. But it has been gradual, just a little less each day. I'm sure my supply is dropping, but I think that's 'cause she won't nurse. I am not able to pump - it worked ok for me at the begining, but since 4-ish months, I cannot get more than a few drips out with the pump. I even had the pump checked (it's used) and it works fine, it just doesn't work for me.

Anyway, she loves food and eats a good variety. I almost feel like she wants to get the nursing over with because she knows I will give her a meal next. And of course I feed her, because if she's not nursing she needs something! It's a downward spiral for sure...

I just want to know if this is ok or if I should be working harder to get her to nurse. Also, since she is almost a year, can I start giving her milk or do I need to give formula?

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter weaned herself at 11 months, also. I would have kept on, but she wouldn't, and I was so sore from her teeth (just came in at 10 months) that we just moved on. I did give her formula then, because she had been getting formula at daycare, but milk should be fine for you.

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T.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

My child started that around 11 months too. It could be because of teething. I would offer it to him at nap times and if he wouldn't take it, I would wait until he was falling asleep and then give it to him. It worked like a charm and it took about 2 months and he is back to nursing like a champ. It is great now, but it was frustrating. I also talked extensively with a LaLache League person and went to a meeting. They really helped me get through that time and I am so glad that I persevered.

1 mom found this helpful
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V.B.

answers from Houston on

My son and daughter both did this! It was so frustrating. It must have been a supply issue that changes with me at around 9 months or so because they both did it at around the same age (and they are 2 1/2 years apart). Both of my kids self weaned by 10 months. I treated both as a nursing strike and continued to try for a month or so, but had to give up. I pumped as much as I could and gave them some breastmilk in bottles, but did end up having to use formula for about 6-8 weeks until we transitioned to whole milk. I would just continue to offer the breast, but if she won't take it, you can't force her. I was devastated by the fact that BOTH of my kids weaned before a year old (I was really holding out hope for my second), but they are happy, healthy kids and I know I did the best thing for them by nursing them as long as they would let me. You're doing great! Just keep trying, but if it doesn't work out, don't beat yourself up over it.

If you think supply is the problem, you could try to take some fenugreek or drink some Mother's Milk tea. It's worth a shot! Good luck.

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J.F.

answers from Toledo on

I had 2 of my 4 wean themselves (1 & 3...2 was sick early on so only nursed for a few months and 4 is still nursing at 5 months). My first one weaned herself a week before her 1st birthday. We were down to only 2 feedings per day and throughout the week, she just went without them, so I didn't push. My 3rd weaned around 11 months also. Though, I think with her it was because I was pregnant with #4 and the milk taste/consistancy changed. Again, she just started nursing less and less, and I just went with it. I had only planned on nursing for about a year anyway so it worked out well for us. If you're comfortable with weaning her at this age (which is perfectly fine by the way), then go with it. It could be worse, you could be ready to wean and she could be refusing to cooperate :)

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

well, the good news is that babies wont usually let themselves starve either... so im not thinking shes too hungry or anything

you can try to nurse her first, or only, and drop the solids for a while. it might be a molar issue - her molars coming in ? eye teeth? sometimes teething pain leads a baby to not want to nurse

what you should do is check www.llli.org. look for a la leche league group in your area, or in a nearby town. it is worth a drive once a month for the support and information they can give you!

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A.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

My ds (2nd child) self weaned at 11 months as well. I nursed as much as he would, then I began giving him whole milk at almost 1 year. This worked well for us, and my ped said that whole milk at 1 year old was fine. Sorry that you weren't able to benefit from the pump, and best of luck as you go through this time. Just don't get stressed over it as that could hurt your milk supply and end BFing even earlier.

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M.K.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

My daughter did not wean at this age but did start to drink less BM. I think because her food intake became so big she didn't need that much more milk. I still BF in am & pm until she was 17mo but switched her over to cow's milk during the day. I don't know how many times a day you are BF but maybe just reduce the amount to a couple times of day. Or maybe she really is ready. I know when I finally stopped offering it to my child she gave it up easily and it was me who had more issues with it.

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had the same experience as Terra. My second son went through a biting and not wanting to nurse around 11 months. I would rock him to almost asleep then "slip it in quick" and he would get a good nursing in. Mostly I did it to keep myself comfortable, I am lucky and low supply has never been my problem. It was for sure related to teething for us, and once he was more comfortable, we kept on nursing to about 17 months.

Good luck! You are doing a great job. Keep nursing as much as possible, and then offer milk. I wouldn't waste money on formula at this point.

Jessica

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

C.,

My second baby did this at about 10 1/2 months. I wanted to nurse longer, especially because we were just coming up on cold and flu season, but everytime I tried to nurse him, he bit me hard. He didn't do it to play or experiment, he did it because he knew that meant nursing time would be over. He just didn't want to do it anymore. I fought him for a few weeks and realized it just wasn't worth it, so I switched him to a sippy cup at that point. It's okay to give cow's milk if the baby is close to a year. It's not like your child magically becomes able to handle cow's milk on their first birthday, it's just a guideline so moms aren't giving it to small infants.

Good luck,
S.

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Just keep at it. She will come back. Your supply at this point is fine, your body knows what to do and even if your supply drops some, it wil lcome right back when she comes back to the breast. Even if she only nurses once a day, your body concentrates the milk so she gets all she needs from that one feeding.

Good job on nursing so long, its an amazing accomplishment and a great gift to your child, and to yourself!

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I.L.

answers from Madison on

This is the PERFECT age for her to wean- you can give cow's milk at one year. She must be reading up on the baby development books! LOL

I envy you- I am still nursing my 2 yr old boy and he does not want to stop- I'm going to have a hard road ahead of me with lots of crying :( Lots of babies self wean when they are ready- I wish mine was one of them. Congrats for getting to a the year milestone and good luck!!

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C.N.

answers from Boston on

My daughter stopped breastfeeding at the exact same age and in the same way. Theres nothing wrong with stopping breastfeeding at this age and my 3 year old is perfectly healthy and happy. I didn't give her any formula after the fact she was a milkaholic whenever she had a meal shed drink milk or water with it and like I said, perfectly healthy and happy child. Dont force her or yourself to continue breastfeeding because it can result in a frustrated child. Granted my daughter started pushing me away at 11 months and we didn't stop completely until around 12 or 13 months but she had me going for a while at barely one feeding a day. Which left me with some seriously upset boobs but I finally put my foot down and stopped all together. She was a little sad to see them go away completely for maybe a week or so but she quickly got over it and both me and my boobs were extremely happy about it :o)

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E.M.

answers from Des Moines on

my son self weaned gradually starting at 10 months and finally all the way off at 13 months. it was completely his choice and i just followed along. he dropped the before bed feeding first then gradually over the next few months started dropping day feedings then finally the first morning feeding (i started pumping breast milk when he stopped nursing and he drank it from a sippy until 12 months when he switched to cow milk) since you can't pump give her formula for the next month or try pumping again(maybe the problem fixed itself and without her nursing you might get more try looking at a picture of her while you pump)

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

I had stopped nursing earlier (around 6 months) but my son gave up his bottle at this point too. He was just interested in real food. I think this happens a lot. I think you did a great job nursing, and your daughter's just ready to move on! (And if she's really eating a good variety, I wouldn't bother with the formula). Good luck.

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K.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

One year olds can get very efficient at nursing and still get a fair amount in a shorter amount of time. Food is taking a bigger part of their diet as well and so they will nurse less when they start doing more solids.
I assume you know this and you really are dealing with a little one who is losing interest in nursing at this time. You are absolutely right to want to nurse her till she is 2 and you probably can achieve that.
Don't push it and turn it into a power struggle, but don't give up either. Take baths with her. Cuddle without your shirt on. Take naps together and see if she will latch and nurse while she is drowsy. Try nursing in quiet dark rooms so there is less distraction, or with a brightly colored necklace on that she can play with while she nurses. As long as she is still nursing I wouldn't give her formula or milk. You have the most nutritious milk for her and she will most likely come back to it.

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K.W.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

Hello! My son did the exact same thing at the exact same time. He weaned himself gradually over the course of a week or so when he was just two weeks shy of his first birthday. I had also been planning to nurse him as long as he wanted to and was shocked and a little disappointed when he suddenly stopped and I ended up weaning myself with the pump! I had also not had much luck with the pump, but at least it was something to ease the pain once he refused to nurse entirely.

I made the mistake of thinking that he needed formula instead of milk and began a very expensive few months of suddenly having a formula-fed child. I found out later at his one-year check that I could have just started whole milk, so I'll pass that info along to you!

The good news is, he is now 2.5 and still eats a huge variety of foods. He really never looked back and now I have a 7-month-old daughter and I'm almost hoping she'll do the same thing! It saved me the torment of "weaning" and feeling like I was taking something so special away from him. My feeling is that this is totally normal and okay and if she is done, you should just rejoice in the fact that you breastfed for so long! What a wonderful start to life you gave her for almost her entire first year!

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A.D.

answers from Bismarck on

I remember my 2nd daughter doing that at 10 months which was surprising since my oldest didn't go through it. I was worried I was having supply problems. I don't remember how long it lasted but she did end up coming back to nursing more. Hopefully it's just a phase for your little one. Either way, good job!

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