Question Re: Nursing / Discipline / Separation Anxiety in 15 Month Old

Keep it up mama, you are helping her work through her feelings! This is a GIFT you are giving her :) She is doing an absolutely FABULOUS job of telling you what she needs, and you are doing a fabulous job of responding! I followed a "don't offer, don't refuse" mentality towards nursing after the first year. My kids both went through phases around 15-17 months where they increased the amount of nursing they did. Those months are pretty tumultuous, as they are learning SO much and trying to figure out this new "independence" they have with the ability to walk away from you after all those months of requiring you to pick them up and move them youself (this can be very scary and exciting at the same time!) My kids both self weaned at 19 months, they just got so busy they forgot to ask - it probably seems like this will never happen for you, but sadly, it will. Enjoy the next few months of this unique time with your precious baby!

I don't think you should ignore her when she is asking to nurse. I have extended nursed and have several friends who have also. Nursing past 12 months becomes more about soothing than nutrition. She recognizes that nursing helps her to calm down and asks for it. It has become a tool for her, and for you. Use it. She will not go to kindergarten nursing. Enjoy this bonding time with your baby and relax.

I can relate for all 3 of my kids cycle through separation anxiety about every 3 months --it's normal. The natural reaction for me when my kids were always wanting to nurse or became "velcro babies" (always attached to me), was to pull away. However, the more I pulled away, left them with Dad, etc., the worse it became. So, what I do is keep life pretty simple, take them with me if I need to go somewhere, and if distraction from nursing doesn't work, I nurse before they become really upset. If I can't nurse my child then for whatever reason, I hold them upright over my shoulder avoiding the cradle hold and comfort or distract them. Demonstrate to her that you are available, and will meet her needs and she is likely to develop trust and security. It's just a stage and it passes quickly especially if you don't try to detach/separate from them. That being said, it is NOT easy. If you are tempted to wean soon, please wait for this stage to pass and proceed very slowly. Then it will be MUCH easier. Best wishes.

When my daughter was this age she was clingy... I was like is this normal and read a ton of books and it is normal! Don't worry about it, tons of kids are clingy at this age. My bf's son was clingy to her too at that age. Nursing soothes her and if it's not jeapardizing her health then it should be okay. Even if she does throw a tantrum you should reinforce what she's mad about her and work through her feelings as best you can with a 15 month old. Kudos to you that she knows some sign language... I always kick myself that i didn't teach my daughter.

Her nursing behavior is pretty normal for the age. Go on any sites with extended breastfeeding forums (mothering or kellymom) and you'll see lots of similar posts! As far as discipline goes, I think it's fine to nurse her for comfort as long as you are not giving in on whatever the problem was. So if she wanted to play with something inappropriate and you took it away and she responded by crying and asking to nurse, it's not a big deal. You are still enforcing boundaries and helping her cope with her feelings. Don't think you are turning her into a brat because you "give in" and nurse her.

Around this time (15-18 months), babies seem to ramp up their nursing and many moms feel like they are nursing newborns again. Very normal. It's usually worse when you try not to nurse. They panic and worry about when they are going to nurse again. If you're not actively trying to wean right now, you could try a different approach. Just nurse her right away when she asks. Just go with it for a week or two. When she has this need met, chances are she'll stop trying to nurse so much. They do go through cycles of high interest in nursing and low interest. Even though it feels like it, it won't always be like this. My first nursed until 25 months and believe me I know about nursing burn out!

You're not creating bad associations with the nursing. You are responding to a real need. So the short answer is, don't ignore her when she wants help calming down. I'm sure you've heard people say things like nursing is about more than nutrition. This is one of those things and 15 months is still a baby. It will get better.

This is a phase... most breastfed toddlers go thru this, as do most toddlers period (the MAMA MAMA MAMA not the nursing). As all phases - this too shall pass. She'll still probably nurse when hurt physically or emotionally - but not as often. Breastfeeding in toddler years is 40% nutrition and 60% soothing/finding love and comfort in a safe place. There is nothing wrong with your child associating Mommy and her Milk with love, safety and soothing. Why would a blankie or toy be more appropriate? Parents are there to help and love their children, to soothe their pain and frustrations, not an inanimate object taking the place of Mommy.

I would have kept the schedule the same during the trip. Go back to what you were doing before and tell her that is when she gets milk. She can have hugs and comfort, but no milk at other times. You are teaching her to eat to comfort herself. That is not healthy. Rock her on your lap or some other comforting action to soothe her. Do not give in. Love her, but do not give in - if you do it once, she will continue to try again until you do it again. Just love her. Do what is best for her.