Ok moms, I need to know if anyone knows for sure if it's legal or not for children of the opposite sex to share a bedroom in MN. I've been searching and searching for a 3 bedroom place I can afford in the area we want to stay and it's just not happening...so my kids are 9 and 6 and as much as I know they need and want privacy and their own space, I can't pull it off!
THANKS!
My husband is a divorce attorney and he has never heard of this being illegal.
P.
I remember approx 10 years ago I was pregnant and tried to rent an efficiency apartment. I was told no because my child MIGHT be a boy and unless you are married a man and woman cannot share a room...yeah you are probably thinking what I did...this is my CHILD not my MAN!!! The laws have since changed, they cannot tell you your children cannot share a room. I read some of the other posts, if letting your daughter use your room doesn't work, what about you sleeping in the livingroom? I assume you are up later and wake earlier than your children. I had to "live" in my livingroom for almost 2 years so my daughter could have her own room. and at one point we had the twin over full bunk bed...she got the top...When you are a single parent you just have to do what you can to make your children as happy as you can.
Ok I've had this conversation with my old landlord several times. I also rent from section8/Hud so it's government subsidized so they have to follow all the rules..
I was told that along time ago the rule was children over the age of like 5 or something couldn't share a room if they were opposite sex.
Then MN became overloaded with immigrants and somehow the rules changed. Because those from other countries have their traditions andl lifestyles.
From what I understand they decided it was not their place to decide what you do with your family's sleeping arrangements. It would be unethical and discrimative. I know there are laws and fire codes about how many ppl can live in a unit, it's usually 2 persons per bedroom. I have a 2 bedroom townhouse and am allowed 4 persons total and it's at my discretion as to who shares a room with who.
I know I just had neigbors move in. Mom/Dad/Girl/Boy and they rent a 2bedroom townhouse and they're kids share a room.
I completely understand your frustrations with high rent. Just look for a apartment with a BIG bedroom they can share and maybe buy a privacy screen or something.
I know my dad's girlfriend rented a apartment about 11 years ago and was forced to rent a 2bdrm. because she had a little boy. Really dumb if you ask me.
If a apartment gives you a hard time then go rent somewhere else.
I've never heard of this either. I shared a room with my brother when I was little and my oldest 2 (boy and girl) share a room right now. Granted they aren't 9 and 6...but I'm sure it's not illegal.
H., you need to do what you can for your kids. And if a 2-bedroom will fit into your budget without breaking your bank for all the other essentials, then get a 2-bedroom. Perhaps you can give them the master suite (since it may be bigger) and then put in some subtle dividers (i.e. a curtain that can be drawn when they want their own privacy/space, or some form of a free-standing wall. Make each side of the room is personal to them and perhaps they will feel it is just fine.
I have a friend with four kids and she had the kids all sleeping in the same room for years (each time they had a kid they just added to the existing room). She just moved the older two (12 girl and 9 boy) to the basement since they remodeled the room, but they still share. She homeschools too. So these kids have a lot of family time. I don't think the kids spend a lot of time in their rooms anyway.
You could also make your room available for your daughter (perhaps she changes her clothes in your room, or if she wants some "alone time" she can read a book on your bed or play in the room) and then the room she shares with her brother would truly be for sleeping.
Just be honest with your kids about what you can afford. Keep it positive about the experience of being together as a family (not just them sharing a room), and let them tell you how they feel as they get more adjusted to the home.
Perhaps as your daughter gets older, you two will need to share the bigger room, but you have a couple years before this may be truly necessary -- you know your kids more than anyone else and if you give them separate privacy time, and not make a big deal about the situation, the kids will learn this is how you have to live in order to stay together and will transition fine.
good luck
S.
