OK! Remember back when I put the post out about my son being special needs and him being in preschool? And about his teacher that I had become friends with etc? And how she told me about boundaries? OK, so I have went by those and it was all ok. Well, this is what is happening now. And I just want to see what you all think about it. Her and I have a really good relationship. I still feel as if she set up these boundaries when we had our talk back in Oct. that I initiated because I felt her pulling away and then she told me about the boundaries etc. Well, when I use to call her about things, even after this talk, she would call me right away, or even the next day, which is acceptable to me. But now, since Dec. usually when I call her, she does not call me back. It is mostly to ask her something about my son, or a question I might have. Recently we started trying to potty train him. His teacher came to our house on a Wed after school and helped us get started getting info for charts and all. It was really nice of her. She had offered to do that when the time came. When she left, we talked a bit and about us being able to be friends after my son is not in her class anymore. It would be different then. She said it was just that we were talking almost every day at that point. I was feeling down this day, and she told me, you can call me anytime even if you need to vent or just talk. You know me. I love to talk. OK, from her boundaries she set up, that is confusing to me. She told me to call her cell phone whenever. OK, so now, the next day, Erik started acting up about going on the potty to sit. So, questions came up, I called her at school. This was a Thurs. No response. the next day, she just sent a note home saying be consistant, and patient and it will take time but happen. Well, she did not answer my question at all. The next day, the same thing. I called again, no call back. So, I called the parent liason and she helped me out with info. So, then on Mon. I wrote her a note saying I was sorry for being a pain but I needed help and that the parent liason did help me out and I had a nice talk with her. She responded with a note on Monday saying that dont ever worry about calling her, but that she is busy and does not always have the time to call me back but she will always write me. So, I was like ok. I did not talk to her again for a while, like a couple weeks. then on Mon. she called to just let me know the buses were running late, and then she asked how I was, how my sister who has BC is etc. Then that was it. That was this past Monday. Well, I had to call her on Friday, because there are things coming up I need to get info on from her. I just said to please call me back when she could. I did not hear from her at all and of course I did not all weekend and I am a little upset about it. And, like she said, I could always call her cell to just talk, vent etc. so I did do that and left a message one day during this time when she would of been driving home. Well, no return phone call. I dont get it. she confuses me, and whether she wants to admit it or not, I am pretty sure that she does not treat the other parents like she treats me. We do have something rare and I can see that every time we talk or write notes. I cant see her not calling back another parent for this kind of a time frame and I am left wondering, is it because it is me, and I am different to her then other parents? I dont know, but I am mad about this. I mean, shouldnt she call me back if I call her? Even if it is really quick? I dont get it and I would like to hear what you all think, especially you teachers out there. I am bothered by this. Thanks
S. Bailey CLD
Aurora
www.tendermomentsdoula.com
So, all of you know, I have many friends. And she offered to come and help us, not me asking her too. And I have called her on her phone at school and only there for the most part. She calls me on her cell phone. She is the one who set up boundaries and then gets to personal afterwards not me. I have not called her in 2 weeks time. And, I called her on A friday, did not expect her to call me on the weekend, but to call me before she went home. That is it!!!! Now, we are at Monday, and I still have not heard from her. And again, I did call her at school. I am not stalking her, just going by what she says and her lead in all of this.
It sounds to me like you just need to not talk to her about anything that does not have to do with school, as hard as it may be. I work in a elementary school and we are required to respond to a parent either by email or by phone within 24 hours. I wouldn't call her cell phone even though she said it is okay. I would just use the school phone number as a way to contact her. Then you know at least someone lease knows you keep calling.
Hi Staci- I was a spec. ed. teacher for 9 years befor e I became a SAHM of 4. If you have decided to keep this relationship professional I would approach this problem from a professional standpoint. your child's teacher in nonresponsive. i would call/write a note informing her that you will neeed to talk to the program director if your questions/concerns cannot be addressed in a timely manner. I think that the relationship you have with oyur son's teacher should be a parent/teacher relationship and not a friendship so the boundaries are not blurred. As a professional the teacher needs to address your parental concerns, if she is not then you need to get the answers needed from her supervisor.
Good Luck
B.
Well, since no one else has responded to this I'll give it a shot.
You're probably scaring her. You're scaring me just with your post. You sound like a stalker.
You're freaking out b/c she didn't call you over the weekend? It was the weekend, maybe she was out of town, or had guests or didn't want to deal with the crazy mom who is stalking her.
My advice: parent your own child (potty training and all) and leave this poor lady alone.
I agree with Kristin. Maybe this teacher doesn't want to be "mean" by telling you directly not to call. Learn by her actions and quit calling her. Don't you have any other friends that you could call - or did you drive them away also- or how about your husband. Sounds like he needs to take a more active role in raising your son. The internet is also somewhere that you could turn to for advice. I really do wish you the best of luck...Remember...potty training is NOT an over night thing.
I kind of agree with Kristin and Lisa. I wouldn't ask her about every little thing that comes up. I would use the internet. Maybe look for a support group of parents with children with the same issues. I think you are too emtionally involved with the teacher. I'm stressed out just reading the post. Good Luck!
This teacher seems to not know boundries and is sending mixed messages. I think that I too would be confused about this. does the teacher always call to let you know the buses are running late? If she does not call back she should at least write a note or have the parent liason call back saying she got it if it was about ur son. It is okay to be confused and i know I would be. And after reading the other response here is what i hav eto say to that -- the teacher should of not over stepped her boundries by coming to teh house without an assistant. Also she should of never gave you her cellphone if she did not want you to use it. And to help u with potty training at ur house, does she go to everybody's house to set up potty training? I thought that was what the parent liason was for. Home visits. maybe she set boundries for you but she broke them and it is okay to try to understand that. and to the people that believe it is stalking....sry nope the teacher should of kept her boundries after she made them and not made it a push pull thing. And it is natural to be concerned about A "friend" who is not responding to u.
