Question for the Church Ladies

You should just let it go. It sounds more like she is being the one that is judgmental and confrontational and its best just to move on away from the subject. Just be kind to her as if nothing happened and soon it will blow over.

I'm not following as to whether it was the pastor's wife who took offense or not, but if someone is going to judge you right off the bat, assume things about you, etc., then why would you like her at all?

I hate to say it, but women's groups can be full of the most judgemental people on earth.
I went to a woman's meeting the day after Halloween one year and still had tinges of colored spray in my hair. I was basically called a Satan worshipper. To make matters worse, it was repeated during my daughter's youth group and she came home super upset.
I am the farthest thing from a Satan worshipper there is, and it didn't help matters that my daughter tried to defend me by saying that we observe Jewish holidays.
I live in a very small town and I was hoping to have some "fellowship" with other women. What I got was the exact opposite. The pastor's son, who was friends with my daughter even called her and said I needed an intervention because I wasn't going to heaven until I got my beliefs straight.
I never went back or allowed my kids there again.
To me, churches and synagogues are holy places where you can go to reach out to other people. When the judgement begins, that's when I leave.
In this particular church I'm talking about, a young girl showed up for church, all by herself, but she had some tattoos and a nose piercing.
Instead of reaching out to her, they were all abuzz about her being a "plant". I didn't know what that even meant. Their definition of "plant" was that she was sent there by Satan to get kids to follow her evil ways.
I felt so sorry for that girl. I thought surely it was blown out of proportion until I got accused of being a Satan worshipper too.
I don't think you should worry too much about this. But, if things are starting already, you might want to consider whether this church is full of good and giving people or people you don't really want to be around too much.
That's just my opinion.
I am not against church in any way, but if they spend the entire sermon telling people how they should vote or how they should condemn people who don't believe as they do.....I'm out of there. With no hesitation.
Maybe things just got off to a bad start and I hope you get some good responses, but as for me, I don't attend religious services for the sake of gossip or cat fights.
My Heavenly Father does not require that of me.

Best wishes.

I love my ladies group at church, such a mix of great ladies with all sorts of life experiences. The one thing we all agree on is judgement is not a part of our time together. If someone starts to say negative or judgemental things we don't fan the flames but change the topic instead. This has created a great positive environment for anyone who comes. In your case, I would not confront her but greet her with positivity and if she becomes negative just change the topic to something else. That way the flames of her issues will die down.

I would not approach her unless she comes to you first...and I would not worry about it too much. Some people are just more confrontational than other peope are and you need to sit back and see who is going to need a little "special handling" in the group!!! I have been attending the same church now for almost 30 years...and we know that there are some of us that are more "delicate" than others when it comes to feelings and interactions with others.
I would just be pleasant and positive with her the next time you have any interaction with her. Chances are she doesn't even remember what she was fussing at you about!!

Well I'm not a church going person but was curious of the question. I do believe in god though. It sounds to me like she is judgemental herself and possibly is used to things a certain way. If you confront her again so soon she might pass even more judgement on you. I would continue to be yourself once she sees you for who you are she will lighten up. If she doesn't than chaulk her up as someone to be a good aquaintance with and thats about it. Good luck.

I would leave it be. Church-goers or not, the world is full of people with faults so I would just say to myself, "that lady overreacted but maybe she was having a bad day or going through something horrible and snapped at you." Then don't take her personally and move on to finding friends that you can reasonably get along with.

I appreciate so much what you are saying. Clearly, this woman has some issues. Probably some for which she has been criticized a lot. I would just try loving her through it. Smile at her. Invite her to sit with you. Ask her about her self. Let her see that she is welcome near you. It might take some time, but be patient. Maybe she really needs you to show her that she is worthy of acceptance.

We are ultimately meant to be God's hands and feet on earth (not his judgement!) and His hands and feet live out his love. At least, that's the only God I care to believe in. But I'm picky about the attributes of a God I can subscribe to. :) How would his love be best expressed through you? I bet she needs it.

Bless you for your kindness. Good luck./

Be yourself. If the church "ladies" can't accept it, then it's their loss. I go to church regularly and am often confronted by "ladies" who don't agree with my lifestyle or views. But I still believe in God.
One thing to remember is that everyone is flawed. It's ok not to get along with someone. You don't have to be everyone's best friend.
I wouldn't be anything but myself. Are you confident that you believe what you said? Then just keep on going on going on.

I'd say just let it go and be your natural friendly self. It sounds like that person likes confrontation. If you try to talk to her she may see it as a confrontation and lash out again. If she was just having a bad day I'm sure she will come around, if not you probably don't want to get too close just be nice and move on.

There are always going to be people who are possessive, status-conscious or just plain witchy- even at church! (or maybe especially at church, sadly!)

You have nothing to apologize for. She wants to show you that she is top dog and you are a lowly newbie. Be polite, sure, but you don't need to go out of your way to explain things to her, etc. Just keep on doing what you're doing and be yourself. That's all God wants from any of us- to try and be our best selves. That doesn't mean you need to kow-tow to anyone.

If you did nothing wrong then you should not have to explain yourself to her. It seems like she is the one with the problem. Just let it go and be yourself. You can't change people but you can change yourself, be who you are and just pray about the the situation and give it to the Lord, he always works it out!!! Remember her in your prayers!!!

I think I would leave it for now and see how things play out. If she approaches you then you have your open. Some people are very thin skinned and she may be one of them. Get to know her and see how she really feels. Good luck with the new group.

L.

any time you fill a room with estrogen there is going to be trouble! i personally would lay back and let the lady get to know me over time espically since you tried to explain and she was defence every time and not really understanding. if anything i would tell her that your sorry for the misunderstanding last meeting. then if she asks i would jump in then but if not i would back off. good luck with your meetings.

"Sides"? At a church ladies meeting? Sounds odd to me...
Be yourself. Express yourself. Whoever doesn't like it can lump it!

Don't sweat the small stuff.
Let it go.

LBC

I think that subject has passed so I'd just move on from here. God is the only one you hafta worry about 'impressing' b/c in the end, it is He who judges. I've been in similar situations where my ideals & comments were met w/ppl and their gaping mouths at "how cud I think such a thing" but I just pat them on the arm or reassure them then say "well it's great to know we can differ in opinion and remain such good friends". It sorrta took them off guard b/c they didn't expect that, they prob expected something like a counter argument. If she or someone else brings up the same issue you had addressed previously, then try a remark as I suggested or maybe something similar may help...I think that ppl who 'argue' just want attention or just like to argue b/c they think their way is right. Hope this helps & good luck!

Some people are just that way. Just be yourself. Pray about the situation and the Lord will show the right thing to do. Maybe she was just having "one of those days." cb

tell her I do not judge cause the bible says judge not lest ye be judged. :) if you are going to second baptist in katy let me know and I will find you.