Hi J.,
No need to be terrified or worry so much. I'm a mom of a child with food allergies, and you can host this child without significant worry. You're already on the right track with common-sense precautions and a willingness to learn about food allergies.
Talk to the mom and get more specific information. Find out what she suggests in order to keep her child safe while in your home. Ask for the list of all of her allergies (even things that show up as "mild" on testing can cause problems if those foods are ingested). Find out what her action plan is----allergists give a flow chart to parents that show what to do if there is a problem.
If it's an ingestion only allergy, you won't have to do much other than keeping peanuts/peanut-containing items away from this child where she cannot accidentally ingest them. It would also be a good idea not to allow other children to eat peanuts or PB right before and during the visit. We all know kids are famous for not washing their hands completely, and they could transfer PB or peanut oils to toys, door handles, towels, etc., where the other little girl could get it on her hands and then accidentally ingest from that.
Find out if she carries an EpiPen Jr., and if so, ask the mom to demonstrate use of it. Every EpiPen comes with a training devise. You can also visit the EpiPen website to familiarize yourself with administration and go to the
The Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network at www.foodallergy.org for more information on keeping kids with allergies safe. It's a great resource.
Our youngest had a peanut allergy when he was younger (he's since outgrown that one). We still had peanut butter in the house---with limits and continual education of family members---like not to stick the knife that was covered in PB into the jar of preserves and to wash hands thoroughly & use a paper towel to dry after using PB, for example.
Our son still has tree nut and sesame seed allergies, and we have both in the house. We keep those items separate from foods that our son eats.
As long as you communicate with the child's mother and familiarize yourself with common-sense precautions, you should be fine.
As a mom with a child with food allergies, I want to thank you for being a concerned person with respect to food allergies. A lot of times, people fall into the extreme camps----The "why should I have to change anything about my life for your kid?" camp and the "oh my goodness ban everything in the world camp." Thank you SO much for wanting to learn about practical, common-sense practices so that kids with allergies can still be included and stay safe!
All the best to you.
J. F.