Puzzled About Crying Outburst

Hi S.,
Sounda like you have a frustrating problem on your hands. If you have tried all the tricks maybe you should ask your pediatrician for help. Maybe there is something they can suggest. He may have something going on mediacally. When my daughter was that age she had a spell where nothing soothed her and I found out she had an ear infection with no other symptoms.. no fever, cold symptoms, nothing.
I know this isn't some miracle advise :). But I just wanted to let you know that we are here for you and do sympathize.

Yours,
M.

in your question you say that you give him a bottle... is he getting baby food? maybe he's hungrier than you think, and a full belly might help him sleep better. if he is teething try rubbing the orajel on his gums. my daughter has been going thru phases of crying/screaming and wanting to cling on to me. one day after looking for the problem (ie changing diaper, feeding, burping, etc) i decided to do the orajel. she bit down on my finger like she was gonna chew it off and she stopped the yelling.
another thing to remember is that they sense our anxieties. so if you already anticipate that he will yell when you leave the room, he probabaly will. just like if you go in his room when he is sleeping and your like "please don't wake up right now" and they do. they sense our anxieties and nervousness and run with it.
of course, ALWAYS, consult your pediatrician and FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS. If you are not satisfied about the answer you got from them, go to another dr. be concerned about your child's health, not the dr's feelings. unfortunately, it took my dr to be on vacation for me to take her to another dr. After 3 mos of tryin to figure out what was wrong we might have finally found the solution. I was giving her regular dr the benefit of the doubt. But thank god i took her to this other dr, i got the answers i was looking for and since then she has gotten much better...for now.

If your baby is not getting good sleep he may not be getting enough REM sleep, which is very important. I would definately talk to your doctor about this. If your doctor shrugs it off and doesn't give an explination you feel confident with try another doctor. Listent to your motherly instincts. God gave them to us for a good reason. Good luck.
Becca

Have you talked to his pediatrician? It sounds to me like there might be more going on than seperation anxiety and you should have him checked.

yes S. i think you should talk to his pediatrician about this. now, again, the separation anxiety phase did last for a few weeks, maybe months (comes and goes as they grow), and at times could get too much. the reason i don't want to say it's normal is because you need to get the green light from the ped. saying all is well with his health and then deal with the anxiety he is having. really nothing i did helped my girls get over the phase faster. if i would leave the room and enter kitchen i'd still be talking stuff like 'mami's right here, mommy loves you, whatcha doin,' very softly so they know i am right there.
also i have read quite a lot on this and if i am not wrong there's the time (much before they turn one) the baby realizes he and mom are not one entity, which means once you're out of his sight they think you're gone forever and that scares them. you just have to ease him into it.
now for co-sleeping, there are a few moms who have been posted totally pro giving into the baby. my feelings on that as my girls are growing is it just tends to complicate things and make it harder on them to let go off you (not in a bad sense) but to illustrate, from the time my girls were about 4 months until they turned 2, i always put them in their bed and rub their backs sometimes for 1-2 hrs until they'd fall asleep. i was doing this because i adore my kids BUt i was exhausted the next day, so exhausted yet you cannot say to a one yr old child mommy's sleeping or resting, so i would have to be on my feet all day playing entertaining taking care of my kids. my weight went down to 87 lbs from all the exhaustion i was experiencing. bottom line, from my experience, that did not help me nor my kids. we all love our kids but we have to take care of ourselves to be able to take care of our kids. if your ped. says he is fine otherwise then you will just have to turn on the washer or dryer or some music when you're doing something to block off his crying, make sure he's safe where he is but you still have daily chores to do, and while you do those your son needs to learn to comfort himself
it might take a while but it will happen.
good luck
V.

you need to hold that baby! wear him all day, gaze into his eyes and comfort at night. do not let him out of your arms until you soothe him and earn his trust back. take a job leave if you work, let someone else do the chores. your baby is the most important thing in the world, he cries to tell you what he needs. the message is pretty obvious if he freaks when you make a move away from him in any way. parenting is not a part time job, some babies require the attention of 10. it is only a few months of babyhood, the rest can wait. enjoy being completely needed, it will be over too soon.

Hi S.,

Unfortunately, I haven't seen the replies to your other posts, but he may be teething. My son was similar to that at exactly 6 months. He wasn't cutting teeth, but he was teething - I didn't realize this until two months later, unfortunately. One night, right before bed, we decided to rub some orajel on his gums. Lo and behold, he went to bed without crying and stayed asleep and didn't awake in the middle of the night. He was just in so much pain and didn't know how to tell us. His first tooth didn't even come in until a month later. But apparently, some babies teethe for months before the tooth comes in.

Try this. I hope it works!

Hi S.,

I don't know what kind of responses you have had to your post but after reading it, it sounds like his Acid reflux is really bothering him and maybe you need to try another medication. My sister-in-law has had AF all of her life since she was a little baby and it took her a while to get the right meds. My son likes to sleep in our bed too but you should credit yourself with the fact that he loves to be near you and just know that this will eventually fade away. I hope this helps, but maybe the anxiety of when you leave coupled with the acid reflux, I think you should check into the medication. I really hope this helps. Let me know. Take care.

Z.

S.,

Maybe his Acid Reflux is getting worse? This doesn't sound normal. Has his diet changed? Any problems at his child care that you may not be aware of? I know it's horrible to think of, but maybe there's some neglect going on there.

I know that Acid Relux is the worst when you lay down, so his sleep time might be scary for him if he's learned to anticipate the pain...even if he doesn't have any pain yet. My son went through separation anxiety for a while. But bedtime is never trouble anymore. He used to cry, but he got used to it and he just lays down in his crib and goes to sleep on his own now. That's why I think there might be something else wrong. Maybe you should speak to his doctor just to rule out the possibility of this being medical.

If it's not a pain issue and he's just being stubborn, there's a great book I know.

Sleeping Through the Night: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night's Sleep by Jodi A. Mindell

It helped me train my son to be happy on his own. Of course he still has breakdowns on occasion when I leave the room, but that's expected some of the time.

Good luck.

-T.

Could he possibly be being abused by someone and he trusts only you. That would explain why he doesn't want you to even turn you back. I know that is something awful to think about, but that is the only thing I can think of. I have an 8 month old also, I am at home with her all day long and she cries when I have to leave to run an errand while my mom babysits her. I think it is normal to an extent to have crying jags from separation. Maybe he has a stronger sense of anxiety. I taught preschool over in College Park and there was a little boy that was 3 and he had bitten his nails down so far because of anxiety and he would throw himself on the floor and scream and cry because of anxiety. He was very intelligent and came from a loving home. Maybe you should seek a second opinion from a doctor.

S. I really wish I could meet you and your family, when I first read your ad I can;t tell you how much I just wanted to grab him in my arms and hug all the love I could into him. When I read your story sbout how you were detached from your husband, I'm not surprised at this baby's behavior. I have six children and if there is one thing I notice about my self and other mommys. The first few months of a childs life they will react the way the mom did while we were caring them. Yes we alter their behavior. It will go away, some sooner than later.If your ever in orlando look me up so I can give that baby the biggest hug. I am a nanny by trade and a chuld-development major. I know you might want him to learn to be alone. Well,,,, it's not time yet. He needs more hugs love. Let me tell you, when that man was away, your sense of security was stripped from you. Well thats how the baby feels.