Putting Siblings in Same Room

Updated on February 23, 2008
S.M. asks from Bolingbrook, IL
10 answers

We recently found out we are going to have our third child. Right now I have two boys- almost three and almost four. They have had separate rooms since the youngest was born. We only have a 3 bedroom home, so when the new baby is born someone will have to share. Since the boys are so close in age, it makes more sense if they share. Baby is due in March. We are planning on putting the boys together in October for their birthdays- early enough that the younger boy doesn't feel like the baby is taking his room.

Since they have had separate rooms they have the same bedtime and usually go down pretty easily. I am worried that once they start sharing a room we will have a more difficult time getting them to bed. Any suggestions on how to get them to go to sleep and not fool around once they begin sharing? They won't have any toys in their room, just books and a few stuffed animals.

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So What Happened?

Well, we put the boys together last week. They were really excited when we put the two beds in the room. Our 4 year old is pretty good. He just stays in his bed and goes to sleep. The three year old is starting to realize that he needs to stay in bed and not play. Not as bad as I had feared, hopefully it'll continue to go well.

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C.O.

answers from Chicago on

I have two girls and they have shared a room since they were 1 and 3. We used to let them talk for a little while before we told them it was time to go to sleep and it worked pretty well. It is fun to listen to them talk. They are now teenagers and are still sharing a room. They are nothing alike but get along very well. I would never put them in seperate rooms. I always felt by being in the same room they developed a closer bond.
Cheryl

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M.P.

answers from Chicago on

My two daughters, 5 and 7, have shared a room for about 3 years now, and they love it, and we rarely have a problem getting them to settle down for bed. If your boys already have a good, well-established bedtime routine, (sounds like they do, since you said they go down easily) I doubt you will have problems with the change. Once in a while our girls are giggly or talkative, and then I usually let them be for a little while, as I consider this to be good bonding time for them. I usually find they quiet down on their own. They are very clear about the rule that they must stay in their beds.

M. P.

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J.R.

answers from Chicago on

We have a 4 bedroom house, but one is used as a office. We have 4 children, 2 boys, 2 girls. Our kids have always shared rooms. Our boys are 8 and 5, and they love rooming together. Our girls arre 7 and 2, and they also love it. We have no issues, even with the mix of a crib and a bed for the girls. They talk and laugh a little bit, but honestly, I love that time for them. They really bond and have some of the cutest conversations! The boys have bunk beds, girls have a crib and regular bed for now.

I don't have any suggestions, because we have never had any problems. We let them talk a little bit, but they know once we tell them they need to go to sleep, the conversations have to end. They really enjoy the quiet time with each other. Congrats!

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J.

answers from Chicago on

My boys are 3 and 7 and share a room (by necessity). I won't lie - it does make bedtime a little difficult, mostly because the 3yo still gets a nap at daycare and isn't tired as early as the 7yo. But it's more an annoyance than a real problem. About once every couple of weeks when the younger kid is really disruptive, we separate them and put the older kid in our bed until they fall asleep.

We are thinking about an addition, and both boys are vehement that they don't want separate rooms! I'm pretty happy overall having them share at least until they get to the teen years and will probably need their own space. I do think you need to make sure they have a little space for their own stuff - even just a shelf or drawer or the top of their dresser. Something that is all theirs.

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

My 4 year old daughter shares a room with my 2 year old son. We had to keep going into the bedroom at bed time, and settle them down for about a month, and after that they pretty much go in and go to sleep with out any problems. What is the trickiest is to make sure they are at similar levels of tiredness. This means to nap the 2 year old early, and not let my 4 year old sleep :).

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H.M.

answers from Chicago on

I think boys do well in teams. In the military they let men join in "friend-teams" and boys usually hang around in groups...unlike girls. At first it might be a challenge to get them to mellow out and fall asleep, but I think they will adjust quickly. Be patient!! Good luck. Congrats on the new baby!!

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D.B.

answers from Chicago on

S.,

I just had my third child on May 3rd. I had the same situation. (three bedroom house) Except I have a 5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl. We decide to bunk them in the same room. It has worked out great. Not only do they LOVE LOVE LOVE there bunk beds, they love the company. They are each others hero's. Especially when it comes to scary things that could happen at night, like MONSTER's.
It's cute hearing them talk to each other at night before they both fall deep asleep. I am so glad we decided to put them together. Our third child was a girl so in about two years the girls will be sharing the bunk beds and our son will have his own room. For now the bond is wonderful between the older two.
I hope this arrangement works out for your family as well. Congrats on your new addition arriving in March.

D.

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D.C.

answers from Chicago on

I went through the same thing last December. I was really worried that they would never sleep, but turned out to be much easier than I thought it would be. The only part I regret is that I think my 4-year-old gave up naps earlier than she otherwise would have. They just couldn't fall asleep in the same room at nap time. I wish I'd have considered having her nap in my room, but it did not occur to me. The 3-year-old still naps well.

Night-time can be difficult, but I've found that, having given up naps, the 4-year-old usually falls alseep really well. My 3-year-old sometimes has a harder time, but my 4-year-old tends to sleep through his calling-out for me. In fact, I've been completely shocked at how much each of them sleeps through when the other wakes in the middle of the night for potty, water, or anything. Yes, they definitely give me trouble sometimes, but usually after a couple threats of toys getting taken away for the day the next morning, I can get them to calm down. I just want to tell you that I wish I'd have know that it wasn't going to be as bad as I was worried it would be. I wasted a lot of time worrying about it. And they LOVE sharing a room and really seem to sleep better knowing the other is right there. I wouldn't change it now even if I had an extra bedroom appear in the house. Of course now we're thinking of a 4th, and I'm terrified that it's going to be much harder!! We'll see! And I'll definitely be checking your response list to see if anyone has had much younger babies share rooms.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, and good luck to you.

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A.K.

answers from Chicago on

Hi. We have a three bedroom house as well and my dh needs one of the bedrooms as an office. SO>....we have 2 boys and a third every other weekend (my stepson). My boys LOVE being together in the same room. It is hard to separate them. Our boys are 5 and 6 and the 13 year old every other weekend. ALL THREE of them are BEST FRIENDS and would rather sleep in the same room than not. We tried having them a part for a while but either of the boys started to want to sleep in the room with the other. It was humerous.
Plus, when I was little in the dino ages lol I had to share a room with my brother. We didn't have bunk beds but space in the house was an issue. It wasn't until I was a freshman in high school (1979) that I FINALLY got my own room.
I don't think that you will have a lot of problems. You will have talking and giggling but that is a part of growing up.

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C.

answers from Chicago on

What you are planning on sounds great. I've always heard that kids adapt pretty quickly to sharing a room. When I was little, my two sisters and I all shared the same room for a while. And I know of large families that have 3 or 4 kids in the same room and it works. If you need to later, you could take out the books and stuffed animals and then they wouldn't have anything except each other for entertainment. And it wouldn't be such a bad thing for them to be bonding by just playing together before falling asleep I would think. :) It's convenient that the boys 12 months apart are both boys! :) Congradulations on the new baby and best wishes to you all!

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