Pushing from High Places at the Playground -- Follow Up

Updated on April 27, 2012
J.R. asks from Washington, DC
11 answers

Dear Mommas, I need your wisdom.

One of my 3 1/2 year old son's friends -- plays beautifully with my son one on one. In the playground with other children, this other boy -- A -- will push and talk not nicely. OK. That is life. However, on 3 separate occassions, A has pushed my son from high and potentially dangerous places....

So... today it happened again.

1. Do I need to speak to the nanny?
2. Do I need to speak to the pre-school teacher to ensure this is not happening on the playground in school?

I am uncomfortable that I was right there so I did say 'we don't push and so forth'....I am trying not to interfere....but at what point do you interfere?

Help.

Thank you.

Jilly

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

3 times & you haven't said anything to the person caring for the child? Why not? I'd say, give the adult a chance to fix the behaviors. If it doesn't get resolved, then I'd cease play dates until the kid can get a grip on himself.

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N.G.

answers from Dallas on

I'm one of those Moms that has NO problems telling a child at the playground what's up if they put my kids in any kind of danger. There was a boy at a playground yelling dirty, disgusting words at a younger girl (who wasn't my child) in ear shot of my kids. The parents of these kids were not around. I gave that boy (who looked to be about 13) a piece of my mind, and told that girl to stick close to me. I think we have a duty to our kids to stick to healthy boundaries, and model to them that it is absolutely OK to tell people when they have stepped over yours.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I would do both speak to the nanny and the pre-school. And if I was the one who saw it I would say something to the kid. I don't put up with kids doing something to my kid that is not safe as well as I don't put up with my kid doing somethign to someone else that is unsafe.

Good luck and God Bless!

2 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

A - yes - stopping someone from hurting someone is NOT interfering. Pushing on the ground is bad and should be stopped, pushing from a higher place is an "Oh, Hell NO!". I will not hesitate to correct my child or someone else's child (if the guardian is not stopping the behavior) when it comes to dangerous behavior.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

You have every right to tell the child not to push. If they don't listen then you need to talk to the care giver about it.

I am more of a low key person, but this past Saturday my daughter was at Softball practice and there are basketball courts right next door. There was a bunch of teens playing and using foul language. I politely asked them to watch their language as there were younger children who could hear them. I would like to think that it was the way I asked them that they obliged, however it helped to have one of the dads standing near me who is 6'5" and huge.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

First, you were not interfering. Since your child is being pushed, you have every right to say something. And second, you interfere if necessary when there is danger to your child--or another child if needed. I think the first time I would tell the child no pushing, the 2nd would be to whomever is caring for him. It might be that he is trying to make himself "tougher" to the other kids on the playground. You could ask the preschool teacher to keep an eye open to see how he interacts with the other kids. He might be an angel at school and just acts out with the nanny watching him.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.D.

answers from Albany on

I monitor my 5 year old D at the playground. I let her play independently with the other children, But I keep an eye on her. I would definitely say something. It's not worth a trip to the ER.

1 mom found this helpful

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

1. Absolutely, yes. Your son or another child could be hurt!

2. No. Preschools usually have plenty of supervision on the playground. If there's an issue, let them deal with it.

As far as "interfering," think of it like this: Falls are the most common mode of playground injury and account for approximately 80 percent of all
playground equipment-related injuries. Head injuries are involved in 75 percent of all fall-related deaths associated with playground equipment.

http://www.preventinjury.org/PDFs/PLAYGROUND_INJURY.pdf

You are PROTECTING your child. That is NOT interfering unless it's also interfering to tell that kid not to push your kid into traffic. You should shout at that child so everyone can hear and protect their OWN children. You should shout at that child so the nanny can hear and take action.

Best,

C

1 mom found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Telling a child not to hit, bite, push, kick, whatever, is NOT interfering it is TEACHING.
I never have a problem guiding or reminding a child what is appropriate and safe behavior, especially if no one else seems to be doing it!

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N.K.

answers from Miami on

I would tell him firmly and in a loud tone of voice that he is NOT to do that, and explain why. He may not be a bully, he may just be playing (you don't mention if it's playful pushing or not) but not realizing how dangerous it is to do that in certain situations, such as when a child is on top of a slide.

By speaking firmly and in a certain tone of voice, the nanny or other caretaker will hopefully take notice and come over and ask what happened. Unfortunately, not all caretakers are paying attention the whole time (I have seen it -- they could be reading, on their cellphone or talking to another caretaker) and this may be the wake-up call they need to be more alert.

That being said, if the caretaker doesn't hear or see this incident, I would mention it so she knows to be more attentive about the child's interactions with others.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.O.

answers from Tampa on

Having children would be so much more wonderful if it wasn't for losers and their kids eh? lol.....I would not be so nice and end it now before he gets hurt...

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