Problems with MIL?

I'd have a little attitude with her too if she was looking after my brother that way too!
Actually, I suspect your daughter is the one really watching him for the most part and thus the attitude as well. I suspect she is just being protective and resents "the someone else" (mil) not helping her.

She would never ever keep either of my children again.
(especially since she has a pool)

She has twice (that you know of) shown very poor judgement, both of which could have resulted in something tragic.

Kudos to your little girl, give her a big hug and kiss for me. She is more responsible than your MIL.

good luck and God Bless!

She would never keep my kids again. Ever. I would tell her exactly why if she asked.

She sounds like my mil. DANGEROUS and too lax when it comes to the children's safety. Do not let this woman watch your children ever again. Hire a babysitter or take them to a drop off playcare.

If something happens to your children when they are in her care, you will never forgive yourself for allowing her to watch them. Grandparents think they have certain rights when it comes to their grandchilren, but when they aren't being safe, all their rights are GONE!!!

She's not reliable, she's not responsible, and some of her behaviours are dangerous to your children. Don't leave your kids alone with her anymore. She's asking your daughter to lie, which you don't need to deal with. I wouldn't leave my child with my mother either. She's selfish, self-absorbed, and irresponsible. You're not alone, and your husband needs to be on board with this and supportive as well. Let him tell her that they can't come over there alone - she's his mom.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!! Red flags are going up for me.

It sounds like my MIL...a bit. I just won't let her babysit because she can't be trusted when I'm around, so I can't even imagine what would happen when I wasn't.

Don't let her babysit again. It's not worth your childrens' safety!!

Welcome to married life. I can't say much on this matter. But I can say that you are going to fight a losing battle unless your husbands feels the same as you do. If he says he will handle it more than likely all that has happen he has spared her feelings due to the fact this is his mother and doesn't want to hurt her feelings. Here is a thing for you. My MIL we see once a year, I love her to death but she has her moments. Every since we had our son and we go to visit cameras come out left and right. Here is the kicker the cameras only come out when her son (my husband) is holding our son. LOL, I don't exist when I hold my son the cameras get put up, picture taking is over so if I want picture of my son around special holiday I have to be the one taking them or MY FAMILY. I don't know if that sound selfish on my part or if I am over reacting. Back to your problem, you don't want to start a fire with this woman you have to see her the rest of your life once you get your husband on the same page as you and understand how you feel it will get better. I would limit the time she has with the kids and I would make sure there is ALWAYS someone (adult) with her when the children are around you have had to many close calls already. I would make it known to your husband how you strongly feel. She is to lose lipped around your older children first of all. Second, she doesn’t seem to be to worry about their safety. Choose your battles with your MIL life can be hard if you make her upset.
Good luck.

T.

I don't let my mom watch my kids either. She is just too "easy" on them and lets them get into trouble, sometimes dangerous trouble. She doesn't watch them very well, and her house is anything but babyproofed. You have to trust your gut. You should talk to her though. I doubt that your 10 year old is lying. Let her know your concerns, and if she doesn't want to abide by your rules, then, like you said, she'll just have to come to your house if she wants to see them. You can't be too protective of your kids!

If it were me, she'd never babysit my kids again. If she asks why, tell her. Ask yourself this, how would you feel if something horrible happened to one of your children while in her care knowing what you know?

Thank God I have never met my MIL and I have been married 20yrs!!!!

The ONLY reason I am responding is because you said your 10yr old was told to "hide" the information from you.

Kudos to your 10yr old to tell you what really happens. I would reward that child for being honest with me and for looking out for his/ her sibling.

As for Gmom babysitting....... No. It is worth the $$$ to know your children are safe with a reliable sitter,

Times have changed since she raised her kids and she doesn't seem to be responsible. Also, not buckling in your child is illegal no matter what the distance.

I don't allow my mother to watch my child alone because of medical issues. Even though she feels she has the ability to take care of my child, she really doesn't because of her limitations. She is allowed to come visit any time she wants. She is not allowed to keep my child or drive my child anywhere. I don't make this public knowledge to her. It's just the agreement my husband and I have made.

I wish you all the luck with this.