Am I Wrong ??? - Plano,TX

I'll be honest, and I may be way overprotective here, but I wouldn't even be comfortable with a 9 and 10 year old swimming alone. Accidents happen and can happen very quickly. Even knowing what to do in an emergency doesn't equal the ability to act with confidence should something happen. But as far as the sister goes, you are absolutely NOT wrong. If their parents want their kids to swim, they should help supervise.

Nope, you're not wrong. She needs to be watched and you know you can't watch her. I have seen kids almost drown with a life vest on. You did the right thing, even though it feels bad.

I think you handled it right. If she cannot swim on her own and needs a life vest - and you are busy with other stuff....you did good and right!!

No, you're not wrong. You can't watch her, and a four year old should not be swimming unsupervised. You were right to send her home.

No you weren't wrong, but please find a way to get a wireless connection and bring your computer outdoors. My kids can all swim but I do NOT let my oldest kids (they are 13) swim outside unless I am right there. It's just not safe, even at ages 10 and 9, and even if they can swim.

No, she should not be swimming without adult supervision. I would also
think you still need to keep a closer eye on the boys as well. (Better to
be safe than sorry).
Perhaps you can ask the other mother to watch all the kids if she wants
to have her daughter swim at your pool.

No, absolutely do not let her swim without your supervision! She's way too young. And, if you have homework to do, then you need to do it. Just make sure she doesn't sneak a swim. If her parent wants to come in and watch her, then maybe that would work?

Just the other day, our neighbors invited us over to swim. I had just put the baby down for a nap, so I couldn't go watch. The neighbor mom was busy painting, so she couldn't either. End result - my kids were sad that they couldn't swim, but sadly, such is life! I wouldn't stop doing homework because it sounds like you need to do it. You could always ask the mom to come over and watch her because you really can't do it. She should understand! I totally understood why my neighbor couldn't watch them.

Why aren't you OUTSIDE with the boys while they're in the pool? If something happens then you need to be right there next to the edge of the pool to handle the situation. So yes, adding another child to the mix in a dangerous situation like that where they're not properly supervised would have been a really, really bad idea. You were right to tell her no. But you should also have told all of the kids to get out of the pool until you were done with homework and could have been poolside with them.

I'm sorry, this isn't me being judgmental. This is just common sense pool safety, especially with young children EVEN IF THEY KNOW HOW TO SWIM.

EDIT: Even the strongest child swimmer is still a child and needs nonstop constant adult supervision. A child can drown in less than two minutes. An adult can drown in less than two minutes. Even adults aren't supposed to swim alone. This is so basic when it comes to pool safety and children that I'm just horrified that people are posting that they're okay with their children going to people's houses to swim without 100% constant supervision.

If your child went to a public swimming pool, how would you feel if you found out that there weren't lifeguards on duty for "a few minutes" for a bathroom break and they didn't blow their whistle to call everyone out of the pool until they came back?

You did the right thing. And hopefully you can see the boys when they swim. I just read a scary story today about drowning. did you know that it almost never looks like it does on TV? There isn't the classic flailing of arms and screaming...the person just goes down. It said that 25% of drownings happen as an adult is actually WATCHING! They think they are swimming at the bottom of the pool. If you do not know CPR for drowning victims you should make sure you learn it.

I just about divorced my husband when I found out that he let our kids swim when he wasn't outside with them. Our oldest is a great swimmer and our youngest wears a life vest, but as you say - they are not foolproof! He couldn't understand why I was so mad, and I showed him the stats on how quickly kids can drown. Suffice it to say he is outside with them when they swim now (or I am). You did the right thing by not allowing the little one to swim without an adult present. Kids who are older, can swim well, and have a friend swimming with them - that's a little different. But any kid who needs a life vest also needs an adult watching at all times!

You were right. Pools are dangerous and 4 yrs. old is too young to swim unsupervised, even with a life vest. Next time, maybe suggest that she can swim as long as one of her parents comes over to supervise. (Unless of course, that would require you to chat rather than get your homework done!)

I hope you called the mom and found out if she was going to keep an eye on the boys at her house. I made it a point to "drown proof" my kids when they were about three. I never let the younger ones swim without supervision IN THE POOL. At the pool, reading a book or getting a tan wasn't good enough. I guess I was an overly protective dad.

I was a boy scout master and we always had adult life guards and the buddy system, even for teenage boy scouts. We never lost anyone, but we almost did when four of our teenage swimmers decided to change buddies without permission. That's when I started my gray hair and I wasn't even in charge of the swim.

Kids and water are a wonderful but dangerous mix. It only takes a minute to have a child go unconcious in the water, must less time than it takes to write/type a paragraph for a college homework paper.

Good luck to you and yours.

She cannot swim in the pool without you out there watching. Legally, if something happened, you would be held accountable. Really, what is her mother thinking sending her over there anyways? I would call the mom and say she is welcome to swim in the pool only if she (the mother) is there supervising.

I would definately have sent her back home. ( I'd also do my homework outside by the pool to keep a closer ear out for the boys.) You did the right thing. The life vest is helpful but what if she took it off or something?

You are doing the right thing - her mom/dad should've talked to you before sending her over there. The life vests say right on them - do not leave un-supervised. Maybe the other parents don't know that you are not outside with them?? I don't know that I would let my 9 and 10 year old go swimming without me out there. Things happen too quickly and as long as it might take for them to come and get you and you to get out there, could be too late. But that is just me......

You were not wrong. I would think the mom would not want her in anyone's pool unless she were right there. And maybe that should be your rule, she can come with her mom. She is 4, she has to wait and can't do everything brother gets to do.

We have a pool in the backyard and I don't let any child swim without adult supervision, even if they can swim really well. Kids will be kids and they rough house, especially boys and what if one of them jumped in the pool and hit their head. Freak accidents do happen. So, yes you did the right thing by not letting the 4 year old swim but you are also doing wrong by not keeping an eye on the kids that can swim. Can you take your homework and sit by the pool?

I wouldn't let her swim, especially with boys rough housing in the pool. Even when boys are being good, they are walking tornadoes. I would probably say - Im sorry, but a grown up has to be with you, can your mommy come down and watch you? Mom would probably be so glad to come down and swim too! Then again, you might be setting yourself up for some annoying pool crashers. lol

I'd have called the Mom and said she couldn't not swim in the pool unattended like the older boys, and you were doing homework. So if she wanted her little girl to swim, she'd have to come over and supervise her.

I know it's over but I wouldn't have let her either. I would have told her that if her mom would come over & watch her, then it's OK. (Whew!)

.

You're doing the right thing. You don't have time to watch her. Further, I think it's pretty imposing and rude of that girl's mother to send her over there unsupervised or expecting you to supervise her!

You did the absolutely right thing! I would not have allowed it either unless one of her parents were with her. Way too much responsibility to ask you to monitor her. When we had a pool in NM, my husband was in the pool with our daughter, with one of his friends and his daughter. They had life vest things on. I walked out to ask the men a question about something. They were both facing their daughters, paying attention to them, playing with them. The girls were in arm's reach, thankfully. Our friend's daughter was drowning right there in front of him! It is a silent killer. I couldn't even speak. I was stammering and pointing. I couldn't get to the pool quickly because it has a locked fence around it. I finally just let out a yelp of some sort, pointing at the little girl. He quickly grabbed her up. She sputtered a bit, and was fine, but even with her father right there, we almost had a tragedy. I think she was about 4 years old. Good call on your part! Never apologize for keeping children safe! Blessings!

I would send her home too. And, by the way, my daughter is 9 and her best friend is 10 and they go swimming all the time at her house w/her mom inside. Her mom checks on them every few minutes. But both girls are strong swimmers and old enough to call for help (they wouldn't have to call very loud!) and I am comfortable with that.

Good lord, where are her parents?! You did the right thing, HOWEVER, I think you should've been out there supervising the boys. Drowning is a silent killer. 9 year old boys aren't the most responsible beings on the planet.

Okay, the girl showed up, with a life vest.
Unless she got it herself and put it on and put on her bathing suit and got all ready herself, the Mom must have.... known she went over there. ??????

What you did is fine.

I am not judging you, but i think the boys are too young. Can you hire a babysitter while you are doing your homework? I just started to leave my 14 and 15 year old and that is with very frequent checks. My 6 and 9 are not allowed in alone. We just had a 3 year old die nearby in a public pool. They said it only took 18 seconds. What if the boys rough house and one goes under. Anything can happen. Please rethink this... they are not old enough yet :(

I don't want to make you feel bad, but I agree 100% with the responses that the boys should have had an adult out there. They are too young to be swimming unsupervised. I'm sorry the little girl had to be sent home, but you definitely did the right thing there.

Jen

You are absolutely right. i wouldn't let a 4 year old swim unattended. Do you know most drownings are "supervised" but the adult supervising didn't witness it? You can't be too careful.

Safety is #1 priority. You were right to send her home. The parents shouldn't have sent her over for you to be her babysitter. 4 is a little young to just send over to swim in someone's pool! SInce the boys know how to swim, it was completely appropriate for you to do this.

M

I think you were 100% right. My son (8) was invited to swim at a friend's house. My friend invited the rest of us as well (me and 3 year old daughter). I had NO intention of my daughter swimming because I did not want to jump into the cold water to rescue her. But, because we were beside the pool, I put a life vest on her (no swim suit). Well, before I could blink, she had jumped in. Thank GOD, she had the life vest on, so I just reached in and pooled her out. But, my point is - they don't think and safety is first. You need to do what you need to do to ensure safety. And, I would NEVER send my 3 year over to someone's house who had a pool.

Good luck,
L.

You did the right thing! The older kids can swim! You never let someone that can not swim even with a life vest in the pool unless supervised. You where looking out for her safty!!!

Ok, well safety has to be your #1 concern with a pool in your yard... I think you are in the right.

You did the right thing. Don't give it another thought. And for whatever it's worth, my opinion is that 3 kids in a pool is a bad combination unless you are devoted to watching them intently the entire time.

We have 2 kids, both of whom swim well and know and follow the rules of our pool. They don't roughhouse, but usually race each other or dive for toys or throw the pool football back and forth across the pool or use those lacrosse/jai lai thingees... so they play interactively. If something were to happen to one, the other would notice immediately. That doesn't happen when you have 3 kids in the water. One could be silently drowning while the other 2 are oblivious racing each other for a dive stick.
And when we have ANY swimmers of ANY age over here, that I am not certain of their ability in the water, I stick right there by the pool. No dashing inside for this or that. When it is just our 2, yeah... I fold clothes on the sofa and watch out the french doors.... or chop veggies in the kitchen and watch out the breakfast window (biiiiiiiig wide window)... both are directly overlooking the pool that is literally 15 feet from being inside the house.

I think you're supervision sounds perfectly appropriate. On spec, it doesn't sound like letting the 4 yr old swim would be a huge deal if she had a life vest on, but it's always good to err on side of caution when someone is at your place and it's your pool. You don't ever want something bad to happen on your watch. If she "just escapes from home" all the time, her mom may have not known she was gone. But even if she did know, if this little girl is "sneaky", there's no guarantee she wouldn't have tried to take the vest off. I wouldn't worry about a vest just coming off, but certainly a 4 yr old needs more supervision and if you didn't feel like you could provide that, then you did the right thing. Better safe than sorry.