Problem with My 19 Month Old Son at Dinner Time

If your husband is not fully on board with this~& I can see he is getting his needs met, too~I would lower my expectations. Even when everyone sits in their own seat it doesnt guarantee a peaceful meal.

J.,

I have 4 children (3 girls, 1 boy) and my youngest went through the same thing. She just decided one day she would not sit in her highchair. So for awhile she sat on my lap and that got old real quick. So I bought, at a resale shop, a wooden highchair and took off the tray before I brought it in the house. Then I introduced it as not a highchair, but a big girl chair. She loves her big girl chair! It lets her sit at the table like everyone else. Regarding your job and nursing school, if you are looking to make any extra $$$ I sell lia sophia jewelry and love it. I not only get out of the house but I make 30% from every show. Sometimes $300 in one evening. Lots of nurses on our team already. Good Luck!

Kids learn at a young age how to manipulate parents into doing what they want. This sounds very much the case. My suggestion would be to approach this on two levels. 1. Speak with your husband about your son's behavior, even if you feel it is his fault don't place blame on him, it is seriously going to take two of you to deal with it. Next, if possible, when your son is throwing his fit and food, move him into the kitchen from where you are dining, if that's not possible, then either everyone else leave the room, or turn him to face the other way, then just let him throw his fit. Yes he will make a mess, yes he will throw food. But when he realizes his fits don't get him his way, he'll figure it out. And don't worry about him not finishing his food, he'll eat when he's hungry. This is not an easy thing to do but you cannot reason with a child this age.

well i have a 13 month old and a 7 year old so i can sympathize with you.my 13 month old likes to stand while he eats.thats his dads doing as well but i do have to say that he eats his food.i would have to say as long as he is eating his food let him rock out sitting on daddys lap.let dad know what he has done and hopefully he will out grow itit will get better.

I went thru this with my daughter. It seemed that the only way we were going tohave a peaceful dinner was to let her sit in my lap. She also prefered to eat off of my plate. I chose not to fight that battle after some discouraging losses. I figure it is family time for us, if we are all sitting, eating and talking together it is good. I kind of like the closeness she and I share. She also insists on sleeping and showering with me at least half the time. They outgrow it soon enough. She is now 3 and most of the time sits in her own seat rightnext to me for meals.
I sometimes wonder if the highchair makes them feel excluded. I really wouldnt stress on this one, before you know it he will be running like a wild man and have no time for you or dad!

Good Luck!

Kids at this age are very interested in getting attention and learning how to influence people. I say pick your battles on this one... and you may or may not decide this is one worth picking. It sounds to me like your husband and you disagree philosophically on whether it's important to have your son sit in his own chair. The two of you need to come to an agreement about whether this is actually important.

Ok so if it IS important then you just need to be consistent and firm. If he throws his food, he can get down from the table and the meal is over. Same with other misbehaving. He will learn very quickly not to do this if you and your husband present a unified front on this one.

If it is NOT important (and except for the principal of the thing, as long as your husband is happy with it why should it bother you?) then just don't worry about it. But DO try and stop the bad behaviour. He is old enough that you can just ask him, "would you rather sit on daddy's lap to eat?"

Personally, I try to not make food and mealtimes a battle ground with our 21 month old son. It's simply not worth it. As long as he doesn't throw his food and eats reasonably, he gets what he wants. I don't worry about forcing him to try new foods, etc. so long as what he's eating is ok. Sometimes this means all he eats is grapes and cheese for dinner. But it all evens out in the end. We're all much happier for it.

Another quick note: when we go to a resturant in particular, I usually let my son sit on my lap until the food comes. Then he sits in his chair to eat, and I sit in mine. For us, it's a compromise that works well. He is GREAT at resturants.