We have 3 girls, 13, 12 & 7. The 13 is new to our enviroment she is my step daughter and just begun to spend time at our home (bitter baby mama story)so with that being said she is adjusting to how we do things. The 13 and 12 year old are constantly bumping heads on small things ( I know this is what normally happens) but my concern is my step daughter gives into my 12 year old daugter to easily for the sake of "it's not worth it" and I as parents we want things to be fair with each child, & to me it is starting to look a little like the 12 year old is taking the bully "im the leader, your new approach. Examples are they argue about who is going to take a shower LAST(to sleep in longer) in the morning, they go back & forth about who will sit in the front seat, who will handle the remote control ect... I have suggest the take turn path but when they claim "we forgot who was last" than what?
How do you handle who goes into the bathroom first in the mornings?
TIA
I read once about a mother who had 2 daughters who argued about whose turn it was. She devised a system that I used with my own daughters. Assign one daughter "even" and the other "odd" days of the month.
Each time there is a dispute, simply ask, "whose day is it today?" and that daughter gets it her way. Sister knows tomorrow it will be her turn.
Good luck to you.
Set a schedule and they have to take turns and then as parents enforce it if they won't. Time for the girls to learn to share and care. :)
Bless you for caring about the feelings of your step daughter. Blended family life is tough on everyone especially the kids. I recommend having ongoing family meetings (can be fun make popcorn)to talk about the changes. Acknowledge everyone's feelings. It is a great forum to set up things like bathroom schedules and stuff like that. Also, I would plan some fun activities for the two older girls to do together that can become new traditions like Getting NailsDone Sundays or chick flick movie night. Best of luck!
Your 12 year old will have had enough one day, and stand up for herself. Maybe ask your husband to talk to the 13 year old and ask her why she's so adamant about being so stink in bossy... I'm sure there's a mommy issue there, and it really has nothing to do with your 12 year old.
Bring them back to elementary level. Write on the calendar who gets the from seat which week, who gets the last shower, etc... or just ignore it. Let them hash it out for themselves, and stop playing referee. Bluntly say 'I don't care, you two settle it'... and eventually they will, because they're not getting the rise out of you that they'd like.
Hate to say it, but the 13 year old should know better. There's something else going on there. It's not about the damn remote control ;)
My brother and I are 21 months apart, I'm older... we STILL argue about silly stuff, but my mom told us a long time ago she wasn't playing sides, and we always had to hash it out on our own... and we did!!
