He is still angry. Hands down.
That stuff, on a kid ,who is just hitting that awkward stage in life...can ruin them.
My husband had his mom walk out on him at 10. Had it been any later in life he would have not been the same person. He I think just missed that.
He says he hates them...Because they split up. No kid wants their parents to live two totally different lives. No kid wants to have to go from house to house to see his family...Never to feel the family.
Honestly(and this is strictly opinion here because my parents are still together)I think the Parents owe him an apology. They need to validate those feeling he is having. they need to talk with him about it. The reason I think youth get angry and in that I hate everyone stage is because they are scared and lonely. They feel the world does not understand who they are trying to become. They feel they have to fight Authority. Because no one gives them a chance to try and fail for themselves. They are not given trust. Or listened to when it is broken.
He is acting out the fact he feels scared. Lonely. And totally hung out to dry with the divorce.
He does not want to talk with a counselor. I guarantee he wants his mom. His dad. To feel that the split was not his fault. He wants to feel that security.
He has probably also been a handful because he has been in a home where things lead to divorce. So with that as the final outcome it is safe to say things have not been great at home for awhile.
As a family you guys need to come to him on his terms, but dont give up trying to reach him....The effort maybe all that matters when he finally does come around.
Dont put him in the rebel light...Because he may not really deserve to be there.
You did not say how old exactly the Preteen is....But think back to the days when you were there...Even with a stable family unit to anyone looking fromt eh outside in has its real issues.
My family has worked through those issues together.
If he never had a strong family unit. And now things have totally fallen apart, you would probably be VERY angry and act out how he has too.
Figure out how he wants to communicate. Sometimes it does not even have to involve using words. Maybe he needs to bang on some drums. Or draw. Plant a garden...Or writing.
Counseling does not work for everyone in the traditional sense. So maybe it is time to ask him how he would like to learn to cope and move through these feelings....Because he CAN stay Angry forever. But he Should not have too....He needs to see this.