Present Opening- at Party or Later

I save presents for the end of the party and see how it goes. If they seem to get a little bored then by all means stop and do presents. Usually they are having so much fun and the parents seem to understand. I have had parties both ways. I go with the flow. Jsut be ready to send a nice detailed thank you note.

My son is 3 1/2 and has been to his fair share of birthday parties lately - whether it be at Chuck E. Cheese, Pump It Up, Jr. or the other indoor popular birthday party places and even at his own birthday party, the presents were given but opening was saved for when at home. At first I thought it was weird, but now I appreciate it is hard for children at this age to understand when a present is for another child PLUS after all the running around and playing, pizza and cake, they really are all tuckered out and need to go home. :-)

I have been to several parties where the parents take the presents home and open them later. I think at this age, few of the guests care as much about watching someone else open presents, and I might go so far as to say they prefer not to watch. I think the kids would prefer the playtime.

As parent who attends alot of b-day parties, I don't mind it if the gifts are opened later. What get's me going, is NOT getting a thank you card/note. To me that's where the appreciation is shown. A friend of ours took pictures of her child opening each persons gift and then turned that picture into a thank you postcard. It was addressed to my son with a specific reference to the gift. It was so thoughtfull and I knew they appreciated the gift. Whatever you do, be sure to send a thank card and depending on the age of you child, have them sign it. I means a lot to the parent and the giftgiver.

After reading many of the responses to your request, I had to make a comment on them. How dare anyone take the presents home to be opened after the party! I'm sorry, I find that incredibly rude and insensitive to the children who brought the present and are ALWAYS excited to see their present opened. That's a part of the birthday celebration. It would be great to have a party where we had unlimited time available for every activity, but come on...really!? Cut out a valuable part of the gift giving experience? Why not request no gifts to be given rather than spoil the fun for the givers? Also, are you all forgetting the importance of teaching our children how to give and appreciate the feeling that it brings along with teaching them how to be gracious givers and not get all uptight because someone else gave a bigger gift? A thank you note is important and should be done, but at age this age a child will not appreciate it as much as seeing the gift opened. We all try to make our child's party the best it can be but maybe we should start trying to tone it down again.

I don't care if it is becoming the norm to take presents home to be opened. I refer to an old saying..."if everyone jumps off a cliff and kills themselves does that make it okay for you too?" Just because some people out there think that it's easier to do doesn't make it the right thing to do.

Please do not listen to the people who said it was okay to do this. Find the time to open the presents. With that said...the cake can be served while your daughter is opening presents. I wish you good luck with her party.

I have never considered opening presents in fromt of everyone a sign of gratitude. I leave that to be the job of the thank you note. I have never opended gifts at young children's birthday parties. That way, notbody feels offended if they bring the same gift, or if I child says out loud, "You already have that!" or the dreaded, "That's a baby toy." Children under 5 do not always have the desired social skills. Later, children seem to really enjoy it - and you can teach your child how to act thrilled with something of which they may have no interest : )

Happy Birthday to your child!

I have taken my kids to many parties where they took the presents home to open and no one was offended. The important thing is to have a good time and allow the kids to enjoy there time together however that may be. I'm sure the other parents would probably feel the same if it was their childs party. Just have your child stand after cake and thank everyone for coming and for bringing a gift. You may decide to include a picture of your child playing with the toy as a thank you card. That would show your guest that it was well recieved and loved.

Instead of having the kids all sit down to watch the gifts being unwrapped, what if your daughter met each friend as they walk in and opened the gift right then and there? She could express her gratitude, anyone standing nearby would be welcome to watch or not, and then the gift could be placed in a large box for safekeeping until after the party. Just a thought ... I've never tried it. Maybe someone else has seen this done ...?

Hi E., I have a friend who does this with all of her kids every birthday. She takes all the presents home and lets the kid open one or two a day until they're all open. When they do open the presents at home, she takes a picture of the child enjoying or wearing the new present and sends it out with a small thank you note to the person who bought it. I think its really neat and we get to actually see the child enjoying the gift vs seeing her open it and rush on to the next gift at the party.

We had a party at Chuck E Cheese and it was way to crazy to open presents there. We went home and opened them there and took lots of pictures, and emailed the pictures to everyone along with a thank you. I also followed up later with a hand written thank you note. I think so long as you show gratitude and don't just take them home never to be heard of again it is perfectly fine to do so.

Looks like I'm in the minority here, but personally, I like the present opening at a party. I wouldn't be offended that they weren't opened, but probably a bit disappointed. Could your daughter open them while the kids are eating the cake? I would rather my child wait to eat cake at home and open the presents there. We always save any gifts from family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, us, etc.) for opening later, so when it's just the presents from friends at the party, it's really not that many.

For my daughter's third birthday we took the presents home and opened them there. With a two hour time frame, play time, cake time there isn't always time to open presents. Nobody was offended at my daughter's party, I even explained it to everybody while cake was being served. We have also been to parties that did this.

I would make the time to open them at the party. My kids have been disappointed when the gifts were taken home to open. I don't know, it just looks a little greedy. They spent time picking out something specifically for their friend and want to see their reaction. At that age, they may not care what everyone else gave the birthday child, but they want to see their gift opened.

You wont take away from playtime, because these places usually schedule the party room for 30 or 45 minutes, with a set time in the bounce house. Yes, it can make it rushed in the party room, but you don't have to wait until the cake is served. Your kiddo can start opening while the guests are getting their food. Enlist some help, if a helper isn't provided. You can have someone ready with pen and paper, taking photos, serving food, etc. Just think it through and you'll be fine.

It is perfectly acceptable to open presents at home and is becoming the normal thing. That gratitude you are supposed to think to show isn't always there at your daughter's age as she may open up a present that she already has or doesn't like. Plus, at home it will be easier to control the flow and record the gifts for the thank you notes. So, spend more time playing. In my bounce house party experience, you get 1.5 hours for play and only half an hour to have cake and get out with the place cleaned by you! So, no time for presents and take it easy on yourself. As the cake is completed serving, just announce that your daughter will be taking her presents home with her to open and that she has loved having everyone there. That is all you should have to say. Parents will understand.

I agree on waiting until after the party to open them. It's just so boring, and sometimes heartbreaking, for the other kids to have to sit through that. You have a limited amount of time at those places, and you'll need it for cake, etc. Better to open them another time or over the course of a week or two depending on how many there are imo. I don't think anyone would be offended at all if you decided to open them later.

I would find a way to open presents there. Especially since she is 5 years old. The kids that gave her the presents usually get a kick out of seeing the surprise. You could open presents at the end and let the kids come watch if they want or play if they want.

I think either way is fine, as long as you write nice handwritten thank you notes! It seems that lately if a party is somewhere out, then gifts are done at home. If the party is at someone's house, they get opened there. I guess it is the new thing to do it that way so kiddos can play longer at the rented place.

My group of friends had this discussion just the other day and feel that it is important to do it at the party. Lots of times you have to leave the jump area and move to the cake/present area anyway but if they can still be jumping maybe you could let everyone know that your child will be opening gifts but that they have the choice to either keep jumping during that time or come and watch! I personally really enjoy seeing the reaction as the child opens the present.

Whoa, so many responses, I'm not going to read them all, I hope I'm not repeating...

Could you maybe open each gift IMMEDIATLY as it is given to your child, so that the kid and his/her parents can see your child's reaction, but also you won't have to spend time with every child watching the "present opening time"? After all, the present thing is really for your child & the giver. At Every party I've ever thrown, the "present opening time" was really hard to get the kids to sit still. Better to open at the party, but not make a special time for it.

And, if your child opens each gift right as she receives it, at the beginning of the party, then sets the opened presents on a table near the cake, then the other kids can see all the opened presents at once when they are getting cake. They can look as long or as short as they want to (but no touchie!!!) hee hee

Good Luck!

I guess I'm a bit different, but I think it's rude to expect a reaction to a gift you've given. To say that you want to see their reaction to me means that you're giving the gift for a personal motivation. I've given lots of gifts at parties that were then opened at home. It can be overwhelming to your child to have to do it all at once and in front of everyone, so I say...put your kiddo first and let her open them at home. The 'reaction and gratitude' part is expressed in the Thank You cards!!!!!!

For the record, I had my daughter's party at a bounce house place last year. Yes, the time is regulated. Yes, you'll have to go into the 'party room' where you may think you're forced to open presents...but depending on the number of guests...just doing the cake and ice cream can take a lot longer than you think.

Good luck E.!

We attended a party like this for a child at our church. It was tons of fun, and the way they handled this, was everyone bounced a ton first, and then we all went into the party room where the guests sat down, sang the birthday song, and were served cake. The birthday boy opened presents while everyone ate cake. He got plenty cake too, but the present opening part wasn't just watching that way, and it seemed to work well. Have fun!

I would say make time to open the present there. At her age most of her friends will have helped if not picked out the present on their own and really want to see them open it and love it as much and they just know she will. Just give about 30 mins for cake and presents at the end. And maybe don't do ice cream if you where even planning that. It takes longer to do. Figure out the quickest way to serve the cake and once your daughter is done with her cake even if not everyone else is have her start opening the gifts.

What ever you do have fun with it and God bless you and your wonderful family!

We live in Plano. My son is five and we've been to a LOT of parties the past few years. I have only been to one party where gifts were opened. It seems that it is now the norm to open gifts later. Unless you have the party at your house with limited activities, then it is really just too crazy to try to fit it in. There are usually anywhere from 10 - 25 kids at the parties. Can you imagine your kid trying to open all of this on top of play and cake? My son is already in overload mode, so opening gifts at his party would have been too much for him. As far as gratitude, I agree with the mothers that said the gratitude is in the thank you notes. As parents it is important that we teach the children to send these. I am apalled at how few of these we receive. My son wrote his name on every thank-you note this year for birthday and Christmas and we talked about what I would write for each one. It took us a long time, but as a result, he remembers what every single person (better than I do even) got him. He has conversations with the gift giver about the specific present they give him--I've overheard him talk to his friends about them. So, these kids from school who carefully selected his gifts know he liked it. Now, that is a genunine show of gratitude--better than an obligatory "ah" when he opens the gift with all eyes on him. Plus, more time playing is far more fun to the guests than sitting and watching someone open gifts--especially after play and sugar. :)

I took my three year old twin boys to a b-day party on Saturday where the gifts were going to be opened at home. Honestly, I felt kind of bad for my boys because all week long they had been looking at the gifts (unwrapped at the time)and talking about how they were for their friend ______. After everyone started leaving and we were about to go, I asked my friend if her son could quickly open his gifts from my boys because it really was fun for them to watch. Being my friend, she was obviously fine with doing that. I don't know...I guess, to me, if people are going to take the time and money to buy something special for your child, most would probably like to see the gift received. For those that don't, let them keep playing. But I believe most of the kiddos would eagerly want to see all the gifts, I know my daughter has nearly been mobbed by attendees in the past who wanted so desperately to see what the birthday child got :-)

Definitely open the presents during the party--as fast and hurriedly as you can I guess. Otherwise, feelings will probably be hurt.

The great thing about taking them home to open is that you don't have to hear "can you open it?" after every gift or hear other kids crying/whining because they want to play with the toys. It's absolutely acceptable. You can mention it during cake time so that they know it's for them to be able to play longer, and they won't mind at all. Then include thank yous to everyone later.

I find that when parties are at places like that - most people take them home - just be sure to write really good thank you notes!! The kids won't even miss it if they are bouncing and having fun!

Honestly it will hurt feelings if you wait 'til after the party to open the gifts. I've heard the complaints from other parents parties where gifts where opened after the party. I suggest combining the cake and presents at the same time. There is probably a party room at the bounce house place with tables. The guests can eat cake while your daughter opens the presents. It shouldn't take more than 30 min. Just do it at the end of the party.

It's funny you wrote this b/c I was just discussing this topic with a co-worker. Every "school friend" party my son has been invited to the gifts were opened at home. I have always opened gifts at the party b/c I feel the person should see his reaction to a gift they picked out for him. To me, that is part of the joy in giving a well thought out gift. But seeing it is only a school friend, I am okay with not seeing the reaction. I can totally understand not wanting to rush the birthday child who is on a party timer. Birthday party's are stressful enough as it is.
On the other hand, my child is deeply upset! He does not understand why the birthday child doesn't want to open his gift he thought so hard about giving him. He puts a lot of time into what he will get the child and makes sure he gets them something he knows they will love.
If you open the gifts at home, I would just say something to the guests in the form of thanking them. Let them know that b/c of the time issue you will be opening the gifts at home but you do thank them for thinking of your child. Maybe take a picture of the birthday child opening each present at home and include it with the thank you card.

E.,

We were just discussing this a work recently. I believe it is VERY rude not to open the presents. For those of us that take the time to shop, and pick out that special gift we want to make sure they enjoy it. Its all about their happiness and the reaction on their faces. Good luck!

You might check the agenda at the bounce house place. We went to one for our end of the year soccer party, and our party was 2 hours also. But they were only allowed to play for 1hr. and 15mins. Then then had to go to the room to do their cake/drinks and we did trophy presentations instead of presents. But same diff. So even if we skipped the trophy's we wouldn't have been able to add that time to playing in the bounce house because the next set of parties were right behind us. They are on schedules and they usually are strict in sticking to them! So I would check with the palce your having the party cuz that might solve your problem! Otherwise I think you have to open presents.

I didn't read all your responses, so if I have repeated other's responses I apologize. We just had my daughter's 4 yr old party at Pump It Up. The party was 2 hrs and broken down into 3 forty minute blocks. One thing I noticed was that by the end of the second 40 minute block of "jumping time" the kids were pretty tired. Most of them were just kind of hanging around and not really bouncing.

Also, I think kids really get a kick out of seeing their presents opened.

If people think enough about a person to bring gifts it is rude NOT to open them where the giver can share the pleasure of her receiving the gift.

SAHM of two; 18 and 5. Home Baker and Candy Maker. Married to the same wonderful man for almost 12 years.

I feel that it is pretty rude to not open the presents in front of the guests. The parents take time out of their busy schedules to pick out a gift specifically for the birhtday child. When the kids are older, they also put thought into it. It has been very dissapointing to myself and my kids when this has happened at a couple of parties we attended.

If you are having a family party or are very close with the guests and explained it ahead of time, I guess you could get away with it. I think they will still be dissapointed though.

If you do decide to open the presents later, be sure to take a picture of each present with your child as it is being opened and send the picture with the hand written thank you note with tons of details on how much dd liked the gift and how she'll use it.

The bounce house parties we've attended have gift opening scheduled into the 2hour time slot. They always have a helper that gives the presents to the birthday child and writes down the gifts and the giver's name. The other children are served cake and sometimes food and drinks while they watch the birthday child open gifts. I think it will all work out.

I hope she has a great party!

I don't think I'd necessarily be offended, but definitely disappointed to not see the gifts opened. I've never been to a party where they weren't opened. I usually have my little one help pick out the gift for his friend so I think we both enjoy seeing their expression when they open it. And as someone else pointed out it's a great time to reinforce manners by thanking each person.

If you do decide to take the presents home for opening later, you should most definitely send out thank cards right away.

If the bounce house place is Jump It Up or somewhere like that, they've already calculated a 1/2 hour for the party room so it's not like you'll be taking away jumping time. While parties are finishing up their last 1/2 hour in the party room doing cake and presents, a new party is starting their jumping time so your party couldn't go back and jump even if they wanted to.

Opening gifts at home seems to be the norm from the birthday parties I have attended with my kiddos for the past 2 years. Just make sure to write your thank-you notes!

It seems to be the newer trend to take them home and open them later. I prefer this to sitting in a crowded stinky party room and trying to keep my son still and quiet while the birthday boy/girl opens sometimes a ton of gifts.

I think that the kids are so overwhelmed and excited with all the stimulation that opening presents can only make it worse! Open them at home but make sure you send out thank yous.

This is yet another reason why I don't prefer that my children receive/expect gifts from friends. I write on the invitations "no gifts please." I reserve gift-giving for family only. My childrens grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, etc. give gifts in the privacy of our home. We have a large family so the kids are already inundated with gifts from family. Therefore, when we've had parties at bounce houses, play areas, public places, ALL of the time is used to play, party, and eat food & cake (which is what my children are more interested in).

If you have the party at home you don't have this problem and you save a chunk of money besides!

I know one mom already said it, but since it was my first reaction ... You already sent out invitations? Why not just put, "no gifts please" on the invitations. That way you can use the time to play. Heck, if the point of the party is to play at the bounce house, then skip the cake and snacks too, just play. I know mom's appreciated this at my nephews party cause the kids weren't sugar loaded, just tired from playing ... little nap angels! Good Luck!!

We recently went to a party where they opened the gifts later at home. My child was disappointed and I have to say I was a little bit offended too. Part of the fun for kids to give gifts is to watch them being opened. I thought it bordered on being rude. I also want my child to know that at her party, when she opens a gift, she needs to thank the person who gave it to her.

All the bounce house places I've been to give you limited jumping time anyway--they move you from one activity to the other and then to the place where you'll have cake and time to open the presents. I think you should open presents in front of the kids--it's a pain, I know, but I believe kids should know that their presents are appreciated, especially if they are giving something they wanted themselves.

Seems this is the thing to do... we always set aside time for cake and presents, but if you prefer not to go this route... then perhaps instead of "no gifts" ask your daughter if she would like everyone to bring canned goods to make a donation to the local food bank. Or perhaps bring a donation to make to the Make a wish foundation or St. Jude Children's hospital. This way the kids get to play and they will also learn to give to others. Just a thought.