Have Question Regarding Proper Etiquette for 1St Birthday Party

I have heard this as an alternative...tell everyone not to wrap their gifts. When guests arrive, put the toys/presents in a hidden room/place. Then when you would normally open the gifts, just bring the child to them and let them explore the toys. At that age they are not interested in tearing open the paper, but seeing the gift immediatly gets their attention and everyone can watch their reaction!

I don't think it is impolite to open the presents at home and not at the party. My kids are a bit older, but we have never opened presents at the party. It is much easier to just let them in their nice package and bring them like a whole at home. Plus, like this you remember who brought what and you know what to thank them for. So don't worry. Just enjoy the party!

I hate opening up gifts at parties....for older kids, it can cause havoc and perhaps make some feel bad, someone needs to take notes of who gave what and that list can get lost, you can't focus on how nice each gift is...ect, ect...But, if opened at home, you can enjoy each gift, teach the kids the importance of reading the cards, and then write a nice note for each. That has always worked for me..I think guests prefer this, too. Have a great party!

I never heard of opening later at home!!!!

I've never been to a birthday party where the presents weren't opened. Your guests are taking the time to purchase something for your child, the least you could do is let them see the gift opened and your child's reaction. I would consider it rude if they weren't opened at the party. If people don't want to watch the whole time, they will talk amongst themselves while your child opens the gifts. I know my son loved to pull the paper off his presents. And all the other kids love that part the best (next to the cake that is.) If you wait until later, how will you know who to thank for that gift that lost it's card or didn't have one? How rude would that look when the person didn't see their gift opened or get a thank you?

Unless you have a huge family, I think inviting so many people looks like you are expecting tons of gifts for your child. I come from a large family and my guest list was no more than 20. Yes, turning one is a big milestone, but really, does any one year old care for such a huge party? But, that's just my opinion.

My daughter is 5 and I have NEVER opened her presents at a party!!!! First, it alleviates any behavior issues a little one may have with liking or not liking anything and in our house we stretch out opening over a couple days. If she opens something she loves and wants to play with, we stop and let her play. What's the rush? They're only young once. Also, I have used picture cards for thank yous before. You can order them at Costco, Walgreens, Shutterfly, etc. Take pictures with the birthday cake, maybe a group picture at the party and another and print them on a card (like the Christmas photo cards) that says thank you. You can personalize it by leaving white space and using a scrapbooking pen or send as is. ANY thank you is better than NO thank you. I had a situation where I was ill and my son was in ICU so the gifts of food and baby gifts piled on and I struggled with thank yous. I did this and not one person complained--many called to say they loved the photo. Good luck tomorrow!

I don't think it would be impolite at all. Actually, most of the first birthday parties that we have attended in the past year have been handled that way. If anyone asks, you can explain what you wrote here - that you want to spend the time interacting with your guests. Makes perfect sense to me!

hi-
not opening gifts is kinder to the guests and your child. That is definitely the trend at all parties we have attended lately. Just be sure to send thank you notes to anyone who brings a gift.
have a great time

One of the biggest problems I have with birthday parties anymore is that presents arent opened at the party. I think it is rude. And frankly it is one the kids favorite parts. Didnt you enjoy watching your friend open the present that you got for them when you were a child?
Another issue you have with this party is too many people!!!!! This is a child. Yes. It is special to turn one year old. But 45-50 people. Get real! Next year, since it is too late this year, cut back you guest list DRASTICALY and take time to open presents. Teach your child how to be grateful.
I am a mother of 3 daughters and have been to my share of birthday parties.
Bigger is not better.

I don't see a problem in waiting. A 1 year old may be too overwhelmed with all the friends, family and entertainment to enjoy the presents. With a 1 year old it may take you longer then the 4 hour party to get your child to open all the presents. I am sure if they are true friends and family they will understand why. I would ask the grandparents at least to come to your house to see the presents from them be opened because they may be offeneded not seeing that moment and this may not be party day but maybe a day later.

S. G.

Hi B.,
I understand why you wouldn't want to open your son's gifts, but it is not fair to people that brought them. Most people really want to see you or your son's reaction. People understand that he won't be opening up the gifts at his age, but I definitely think you should open them. Four hours is a long time for a birthday party. If you get some people (other children) to help with the opening of the gifts, you can get it done quickly. Have fun!
J.

I have been to many parties where it is done both ways. Generally it is a factor of time - if it will interrupt the rhythm of the party, the parents choose to wait. If there is a need to fill some time or redirect the kids or even just give them a break from the fun and chaos...it can be a great opportunity to get everyone to sit down and chill out for a few minutes. I have had parties where we didn't expect to open gifts, but there was a lull and it gave a great opportunity to regroup.

I don't believe it is impolite in this day and age - it is common both ways. Just from experience (with three kids we've had a TON of b-day parties) you might want to leave the option open as 4 hours is a long time to fill time for a group of kids. At my son's b-day party (he's 5 but developmentally about 3 1/2 and it was his first party with friends) we wound up regrouping them 3 times...pizza, cake and gifts. It gave them a little break and a chance to chill out.

It sounds like a great party...have fun! :)

No, I don't think so. It is a fun part to watch them open gifts but with the plans you have it would be understandable. You can always take a pic or video of the entire thing and post them online. Then send them a link to view later. Kodak Gallery is great for photos. One True Media is free as well and is great to add your videos and photos to. I use both. I know at weddings they sometimes don't open gifts in front of the guests. I think at the part though that people will probably expect to watch your son dig into some chocolate cake to see the fun mess though, lol.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

Don't even think twice about it. Nobody opens presents at bday parties anymore it seems. I went to many first birthday parties and there was no present opening at any of them. Happy Birthday!! Enjoy the day.

There is the possibility that some folks may be upset if you don't open a special gift. Also younger kids sometimes like seeing their gift given.

AND It's also important for kids to understand that the giving of gifts is just as important as receiving.

You might consider opening a few gifts - like the ones from kids that seem anxious to give the gift they chose.

You could also enlist K-3 age kids to be special helper and open some special gifts for the guest of honor that were given by folks who might be upset (Grandma?). They can be the gift opener in place of the guest of honor, who is probably not aware of what all the hoopla is about anyway!

B., who is the party for? The children, who love to open and play with the presents; or is it for the adults to "interact"?
I do not know much about etiquette, and what I did know I worked hard to forget. I think childwood is a time to have fun and play, especially at parties!

.

At my son's party, we opened the gifts. I actually found a great idea online and we brought a special chair from home and the child that gave the gift was then able to "help us" and he/she opened the gift for my son. The kids loved it. However, we just went to another family first birthday party and the did not open the gifts during the party. There were so many people there that I didn't even notice it until we were leaving and I saw all the presents piled up. I think it's up to you and if you have enough activities planned to carry you through the party, then people probably won't care or even think about it.

I am also planning my son's 1st birthday party & I do plan on having him open his gifts. He loved opening his Christmas presents so I'm sure he'll enjoy tearing the paper off of these gifts. I've gone to other 1st birthday parties where they opened the gifts there & it actually helped to absorb some of the time. We'd all have been sitting around twiddling our thumbs if they wouldn't have opened the gifts. But... all in all, this is your party & whatever you choose will be special. Good luck & Happy Birthday to your little guy!

B.,
If I were you I would be doing the same thing. If anyone questions it just let them know that you would rather spend the time talking with everyone and then if they look at you with shock wou could use the "there are too many kids" excuse. My husband is from a large family and I use it all the time. ust let people know that with so many kids you don't want to worry about all the other kids tearing into everything. it works great for me. Not to mention that honestly at one year old your son will find one thing that attracts his attention and he will then care less about anything else. Good Luck! And have fun!!!

Hi!
I see that you already have many responses to this, but I just had to write.
My Sister-in-law has been doing this for quite a while now, and I can tell you that we are all hurt in our family! We take the time to choose a gift, or gifts, for our neices and nephew, and we would like to see their faces when these gifts are open.
Gift opening can be organized, with someone helping the child to open gifts, while another jots down who the gift is from, while another volunteer stands by with a trash bag.
Please do not rob your gift- giving guests of the joy of the opening! Plus, this helps the party move along, as my daughter just interjected, no 1 year old is going to be content with sitting around for 4 hours! (she is the mother of an active 2 yr old girl).
The party is for everyone...is it not?
If this sounds a bit harsh, I do apologize, it is just that we have a difficult time here accepting the "rules" of this sister-in-law, who would lop off our heads with the mere mention of this.
Name withheld, just in case she is a member of this group!

As an attendee, I would appreciate it, lol. I can't tell you how many 1yo bday parties or showers I've been too with a ton of people, and having to sit thru 3-4hrs of present-opening is rude, IMO.

Go for it :D

I know there have been many opinions, but in my opinion I don't think it is impolite especially since at 1 year old they do not have the slightest concept of opening gifts. I've been to many, many kids parties and the majority did not open the gifts there and the times they did noone even paid attention and it just was boring for the other kids. If you were having a smaller gathering or if your child was older then I think it's more appropriate. The other nice thing I've seen done is that when I've gotten thank you notes, they include a picture of the child playing with the gift you gave them. That was a nice gesture I thought. I've also just gotten standard thank you notes from people that were just pre-printed and were not even personal and I wasn't offended at that either. Just my two cents.

I also had a large party for my son's first birthday, and we did open the presents at the party. Most of the adults did not have young children, but they did want to see my son's reaction to his presents. His cousins helped him open some of them, and the adults who didn't care to watch the whole time moved away and chatted. My son was not overwhelmed because we put him in a "special chair" and everyone told us how happy they were to be able to see his face light up with the toys and gifts. Personally, I think it is rude not to open the presents. If I spend the time picking something out for your child, I want to see your reaction and their reaction when it is opened. Plus, I think it is a learning experience in self-control for the other children there. Good luck in whichever you choose.

B.,
It wouldn't matter to me, but some people like to see the birthday child open their present. Recently my sister went to a baby shower and the mom to be opened your present as you came in. Therefore eliminating the hour long gift opening. Maybe you could do something like that. and if not with everybodys, just some. Ask the person if they would like your child to open now or if they would mind at home.
The problem is you never know how someone will react and you don't want to insult anyone.
Good Luck, and enjoy the party

i have a 2 month old and an 8 year old. i want you to know that for the last, i would say 5 years, the 8 year old has NOT opened up presents at his party. it's too time consuming and who wants to sit there and watch.

if you're having a party at hall, i wouldn't bother. like you said, you're inviting about 50 adults and 20 children. it's more of an adult party... the one year old won't know if you open them up there or not.

I don't see a proublem with it. It will give you and your child more time to play with the gifts. Some people want to see the face when the gifts are open. But I think that they would understand that you would like more time to spend with the family and friends and watching your little one enjoy his cake.

Happy Birthday to the little one.

I think it would be OK to open the gifts later. It will also avoid the inevitable--he will be entranced and enthralled by the first gift he opens and will not want to keep going anyway!
I would say to do whatever works best for you! Have fun and enjoy the party!

I just had my son's 1st birthday party in January at a hall as well. We did not open the gifts at the party, and it was perfectly fine. We sent personalized thank you notes thanking each person for their gift and for coming to the party.

B., my hat is off to you for throwing such a big bash for your one year old! Wow!

I'm all for not opening presents at the party because it does take time away from enjoying the company of your family and friends, however, there may be some people who would like to see the reaction of your son when he opens their gift. You may want to ask and see what people prefer.

Good luck! I hope the party goes off smoothly!

Hey how are you. I have a four year old son and he's my first I can just tell you about my experience we had our sons party here and played a couple games and did presents and that part was fun for everyone more so everyone else because my son really wasn't that into it but, everyone else was especially the other kids at the party so my son started to enjoy the attention of the ooooohs and aaaaaaaaahhhs which in turn made me smile watching him smile.. Good luck

B.,

At the age of one, the kids don't really understand why you are pulling the presents away and setting out another. For both our girls, we DID NOT open presents and explained to guests we wanted our girls to have a great time and not have tears as they wouldn't understand why the toys were being pulled away. It is just too overwhelming. I totally support your decision. In each thank you note, we did put a picture of our child holding the gift they received from the giver. In this way, they did kind of see what happened.........best of luck because for some it's a tough decision - but stick by your guns!

Hi B.,

I didn't open my son's b-day gifts at his 1st or 2nd b-day parties. I think they are too young. I actually opened them all after and send thank you notes, but didn't give him all of the gifts for several months - this way he got something new every few weeks instead of all at once.

J.

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These days I think it's more and more common not to open gifts at the party, especially when the child is so young that it would be the parents opening. My husband is Korean, so there is a very large and important first birthday party. From experience I can tell you that you have the right idea about spending time with the guests versus opening the gifts. Your child may be tired or over-stimulated by that point and trying to open gifts may feel like a challenge since you'll want to give each gift and gift-giver ample attention and thanks, but also worry about your child. One party I went to, they made an announcement when they did the cake, saying that they hope everyone understood that they'd be opening gift later so that they could continue to visit with family and friends. Good luck!

I think it is fine that you don't open the presents at the party, frankly it is the most boring part of any child's birthday party. You might want to make a little speech thanking everyone for comming and that your son will be opening his presents later on because being with everyone is the greater gift...blah blah blah. Let them know that they are more important to you!! Be sure to get those thank you notes out right away though and make sure they are personal. It is really important that as your son gets older he does those thank you's... Family and friends appreciate it more than you know. Have a great party!!

I can not stand when I go to a party and the parent opts out of opening the gifts! I feel like if you don't want to waste time opening gifts and would rather just interact, then ask people not to bring them in the first place. Ask them instead to make a donation in your child's name to a favorite charity. Part of the joy of attending a child's birthday is watching the child's or their parent's reaction when they open the gift that you spent time picking out for them. I guess I am just too traditional. I like one of the other poster's remark about the special chair that the person who got the child the gift can sit in while it is being opened, it is a good experience for the gift giver as well. The other thing that we have learned from attending children's parties is that the card gets separated from the gift and it is NEVER a good idea to call people after the fact and ask them what they got your child because you can't find the card.

B.,
I think that is just fine. First of all it is your party for your son. When kids get around preents they get out of hand. My sons first birthday was ok, however he got hit in the face with a plastic baseball bat that I told the kids not to play with in doors (one of his presents). You do what you want to do it is your sons party that YOU are hosting. Personally, I think you are veryyyyy brave for having such a large crowd for your one year old (he wont remember any of it)! Good Luck!
Chris

B.,
I think it's a great idea to open them later; it'll especially show the children AND adults the celebration is about simply gathering and having fun--not about the material gifts. I was recently at a 2 yr old party and they did not open gifts, and I was not at all offended. She didn't send a t.u. note, either, but I am still not offended; I know the family and all of us guests had fun, and that is gratitude enough!
smiles,
L., 39
Brianna 21m & yes! still bf'ing!
and baby
butterflylindamarie at yahoo dot com

Hi - I specifically said on the invitation NO GIFTS so that I wouldn't have to open gifts - my concerns were the same as yours! Everyone brought gifts which is so, so kind. I still didn't open them saying "I said NO GIFTS". Anyway, my mother in law was the only one that complained, she made me open hers before she left. Whatever! I say don't open them!!!!! Good luck!

Every kid's birthday we have been to presents were opened at home and not at the party. If you open presents with other kids around it really turns out to be a nightmare. Also it gives you more time to interact with guests. We had more than 100 people at my son's first party at a hall and we opened them at our leisure after the party. I made sure I kept a detailed list and tried to take a picture with him and each present and included it in the thank you card.

Enjoy!

We usually do presents after the guests have left. There's usually too much going on during the party to open presents. In addition, you son is only 1 year old and probably doesn't really get the idea of presents yet.

I would not open gifts at the party. Although some guests do like to see their gift opened, most will appreciate not having to sit through a drawn out gift opening with such a large crowd. It's unlikely that your child will want to sit through it either. Except at shower-type events (where the purpose is primarily gift giving) I think it's better etiquette to take the emphasis off of the gifts. Focus on your celebration instead.