Preschoolers and Attention

Lots of 3 year old's have short attention spans.
I would want to know how long this teacher has been working with kids teaching preschool and what her credentials are. You do not have to be a certified teacher to teach preschool in some programs. That being said, she may or may not have a short attention span...seems almost strange to write that when talking about a 3 year old. I would not worry too much, especially since you said she is fine at home. She could just be distracted at school, tired, hungry, etc., which lead to a change in her behavior.

she will be 4.. so she is 3.. she is a normal 3 year old.. she will continue preschool next year and turn 5 in march of 2014.. then start kindergarten in sept of 2014. she has almost 2 full years to learn to pay attention.. do not worry..

I would see if you can observe her behavior int he classroom. might give you some insight into what is going on.. but home behaviour does not allows show what the kids are like in the classroom. so she might be great at home and bad at school..

Find out what she means. And if your DD snores, then ask the pediatrician about a sleep study and/or tonsilectomy. My friend's DD is a different kid after her tonsils and adenoids were removed. She had been sleep deprived before that and the teachers thought she was ADHD. They discovered this when she was about 4.

ETA: I missed that she is not yet 4. I thought she was 4. So a 3 yr old has trouble with attention? And the sky is blue. You need more info, both from the teacher and about normal 3 yr old development. Is it that your DD is abnormal or that the teacher has more complacent 3 yr olds (or older children) in her class and your DD stands out?

That is vague. I would be ready with a list of questions for the conference.
I would want specific details on what the problem is and what the teacher has done to try to improve the problem.
Is she saying Alyssa doesn't listen to a story and runs around the room or that she is fidgety and distracted but sits on the rug during story time. Or listens to one story but cannot listen to two in a row? Or is she saying Alyssa cannot follow directions to make a craft or play a game? Or is she saying your daughter doesnt follow the routines and rules (which could be because she doesnt want to not because she has an attention problem)
Get all the details and what she has tried to help your daughter before you worry, Has she tried saying your daughters name before giving the class directions? Has she tried bending down and looking into her eyes as she gives directions, Signaling with a series of claps and waiting for the class to pause, look and listen? A rhyme like "1,2,3 all eyes on me", to which the children say "1,2 eyes on you."
As you said, three is very young. Does this teacher have lots of experience and an arsenal of techniques? Does she alternate a quiet activity with a active one and never expect them to sit for too long?
Are all the kids the same age or is your daughter one of the youngest or oldest?
Play close attention to your daughters behavior at home before the conference, does she listen to stories? Can she play a game like Candy Land of Lucky Ducks or Hungry Hippo or is her attention span too short?
Does she sit still at meal time long enough to eat a normal (for her age) meal? If not try to slowly increase the amount of time you expect her to sit for one activity (puzzles, play dough, stories and rhymes, games)
Could be your expectations are too low, could be the teachers are too high

"Attention problem" is very vague. Since the teacher spends as much time with her as you probably do, I would take her concerne seriously and ask for specific examples to understand what is going on. Don't jump to any conclusions as that will freak you out. Yes, I do reccomend an evaluation by a neuro developmental pediatrician after you meet with the teacher. It takes months to get an appt so in that time you can watch your daughter, hopefully with other children and see what the teacher means. Often times, behavior seems normal because we don't see our child among other kids

I would try working with your daughter at home to see if she is able to stay on task and focused.

Get some workbooks and sit down with her over the weekend. You will be able to tell right away if she can concentrate on the task at hand or if she is all over the place.

My GD who is 6 came over one weekend with some homework. I sat down to help her and really wondered if she wasn't ADHD. She could not stay focused for two seconds. Constantly reaching over to straighten other papers on the table, talking about everything under the sun except what we were working on. She just could not concentrate long enough to even get one problem done without me having to bring her attention back to the task at hand.

If you find that she can concentrate at home, she doesn't have ADHD; if she did she would have it 24/7. If that's the case, then this is just a matter of maturity and learning self-control.

Don't let the teacher make you cry. The teacher is looking for a Stepford child - it makes their day much easier. If they don't get it, they start the conversation hoping that the parent will medicate and then they have their quiet zombie classroom which is really what they want.

I'd find a new daycare worker. 3 year olds have terrible attention spans. It comes with the age, and any adult that wants to break a poor 3 year old and expect them to act like they are 6 or 7 isn't worth a damn in my book!

I really am sick of our society not letting kids be kids.

Even if she does have ADHD-inattentive type, it's a tough road getting a doctor's attention at this age. Our son only got the attention of doctors at three because his ADHD was severe and combined type (with hyperactivity and impulsiveness). He was off the charts and even then, the specialists were very thoughtful and thorough. Our son was a neon sign for ADHD,but he didn't get the formal diagnosis for two years, until he was almost five.

You might mention the concerns with your daughter's pediatrician, but at this age, if it's just an attention issue, most doctors will steer clear of diagnosing anything unless it's affecting quality of life.

What I would do is keep a record of the feedback you receive. If she continues to have problems as she enters elementary school, you can give the information to the specialists who would evaluate her. The specialists who've treated our son over the years have always wanted information from teachers.

Definitely don't stress at this point. Preschool teachers aren't doctors, so she can't diagnose anything. Listen to the teacher's input, but don't let it get you down.

She's 3 at 3 their attention span is only a few minutes at best. She may also just be bored so she isn't paying attention. My youngest was a smart kid who got straight f's all through school. He was bored out of his mind. He also had an undiagnosed learning disability until 5th grade. I told his teachers fron kindergarten up he was dyslexic but for some reason it never showed up on tests until 5th grade. I have found that sometimes you need to not listen to the teachers, they do not know your child as well as you do.

First of all, Teachers deal with various kids all day everyday.
But, they are not a professional developmental assessor.
Nor a professional evaluator.

Your daughter is young.
Attention spans are not the best at this age.
How is she at home? Do you notice a "problem" at home?
If not... then, at school, it may just be... that there are SO many "distractions" because there are so many other kids there, so many different dynamics, so many other personalities there... and it can really cause a "distraction" to some kids. And the Teacher, is responsible, for keeping her students, in check or organized or aware of rules etc.

So, it could just be the Teacher's opinion... or it can be a problem. Or not.
And, how detailed was the Teacher, about telling you this? Did she give you concrete examples? Or not?
If the Teacher cannot elaborate nor give you examples, it may just be that the Teacher doesn't even know.
Or it can be, just that the ENTIRE dynamics in the room, is so distracting and noisy and/or not quiet etc.
I mean, there are SO many other kids in a classroom, kids who are MORE distracting than your child I am sure.
But if you notice an attention problem at home TOO, of your daughter, then maybe, there is an issue.
But again, your daughter is only 4. And they are not all mature at this age anyway.

Why... does the Teacher think, there is an attention problem in your daughter? Did she even say, that?

Again, a Teacher is not a professional developmental assessor.
Or speak to your Pediatrician.

But, I know of no 4 year old, that has perfect attention spans.

Don't cry or feel bad.
And tell your Husband.
This is important.
You BOTH should go, to the meeting.

And, what the heck does she expect you to do, about "getting Alyssa's attention?" Did she even give you the specifics of WHAT to do?
Again, a Teacher is not a professional developmental assessor.

If your child gets distracted only at school, and is fine at home, then there is no overall encompassing "problem."
Because, if she did have an attention problem, then that problem would exist and be prevalent, everywhere, at home AND at school, too.

It saddens me that the "perfect kid" is one who can sit down and be quiet.

I've been working with young kids for 25 years. "Attention Spans" are all SO DIFFERENT with each child, and each child develops at a different speed. I've had kids who couldn't pay attention at all at age 4, but now are wonderful and SUCCESSFUL students. The problem with schools, is that the teachers are forced to push all this knowledge into the students. The teachers have to force the kids to pay attention, listen and learn all at the same time, when they all may be at different places developmentally.

My daughter was on the young side for first grade, as she has a July birthday. She couldn't pay attention in first grade and her teacher was hinting at ADHD. My daughter did NOT have ADHD. She just wasn't mentally ready for first grade. We're really glad we didn't listen to the teacher!

There are some specific things to look for when a child has ADHD, and there is a big difference between a child that can't pay attention and ADHD. I can spot the difference (even though I'm not a doctor).

If I were you, I would look into your daughter's diet. For us, removing red #40 and other dyes helped tremendously. Removing high fructose corn syrup helped as well. The biggest thing was just allowing her to mature. Without any medication or any sort of doctor's intervention my daughter is now a bright 11-year old who has no problem's whatsoever paying attention.

Right now your daughter's attention span should be about 4 minutes long. Why do teachers forget this? If she can focus for 4 minutes then she's doing great!

Your daughter's ETHICS may be out, not her attention span. Meaning she's not understanding what's expected of her. She may hear you, she may understand she's supposed to stop playing but she may not WANT to, so she ignores you. She may be ignoring the teacher. That may be the issue, not ADHD. I don't know, I don't know your daughter.

Listen to the teacher, work with your daughter but don't worry about a formal ADHD diagnosis. If your mama radar hasn't gone off yet, then she's probably doing just fine. She may be slightly developmentally behind, but that's OKAY! Every child develops at his/her own pace. The good thing is they will all end up in the same place in the end.

If you haven't had your daughter go through the school screening process via your school district then I would set that up and see what they have to say. I wouldn't completely discard the teachers comments, maybe just start focussing on your daughters behaviors in different situations and how well she can keep her attention. Sometimes kids are not allowed to be kids anymore and people are quick to judge, but knowing it is an increasing issue you don't want to dismiss the idea and potentially cause further harm if she does have a problem. Just keep an eye on her and her behavior and work with the teacher rather than against her. I know it isn't easy, but you know her best!

Teachers spend hours and hours and hours, days and days, month, and years in the classroom with kids. They know when one is having something going on. They are not qualified to say "Hey, your child is ADHD and you need to put this on XX medication". What it sounds like to me is that she is trying to get you on board to help your child is a problem she has noticed. She has brought it to your attention before so this is ongoing.

I would treat this person with respect and use her as a powerful resource. If she says she thinks your child needs an evaluation then chances are that she does.

At 3 your child would not be put on any meds. They would more than likely try to use different behavior plans and using those to try and make changes together.

When we had my grandson evaluated, it was sensory issues, they suggested a weighted vest when he needed to sit still and pay attention. It was only worn about 20 minutes at a time when they were in circle time and then again for another 15-20 minutes during table time. Night and day, I can't say enough about how well it worked.

All the other times of the day he did not wear it.

If he got agitated or out of control he could go sit in a rocking chair and he would rock and rock and rock. It helped him to feel centered. We tried a mini trampoline but OH MY STARS!!!!! that was like shooting him up with speed! He would spin out of control even more and more. So we got rid of the trampolines. We also put tighter fitting cloths on him, like Under Armor. Stretchy but snug fitting.

There are many resources once a diagnosis is made. The diagnosis gives you a path that might make a difference. If it works then you stay on that path and as long as it is working you don't change. If it stops working then you try some other steps you've come across in your research.

If they say they don't see any problems then you have followed a suggestion of a person who's life is spent with children and sees a lot of kids. When one is different in this kind of way it's pretty obvious. I have 13 years in child care and I know there were some kids that just stood out, they needed something more. Something that would help them to click on their attention.