Is it okay that my ex husband's 28 years old girlfriend showers / bathes naked with my 5 years old son? She has been with my son since he was 18 months and provides most of his care when my son is with his Dad every other week. I stopped showering with him when he was about 3 years old and started teaching him about privacy.
Up until 5 I think it would be fine, but once they start school, they should be really learning to bathe themselves and do not need to be bathing with anyone else.
Just mention it is time to quit the bathing together.
Sara B you're not the only one. If only I could get the shower to myself once in a while! But, i think that in this case Mom should have the say on whether this goes on with step- mom.
Am I the only one who still showers with my 5 year old? I am lazy and it kills two birds with one stone. I don't love it, but she does and it's easier. I'm not saying I would be comfortable with someone else showering with her, but I don't think it's terrible if people if people do it.
What is the reason she still showers with him? Is it because she needs a shower and Dad isn't there to keep an eye on your son? That's the main reason I first showered with my dd, because she still needed supervision and I needed a shower.
That being said, if it is important to you, and I can see why, I'm not saying you shouldn't want to teach your son about privacy and not have people shower with him, you need to talk to his dad and tell him you want it stopped. You'll want to try not to be accusatory, but you want to be on the same page parenting wise.
It wouldn't be OK with me, and I would say so to my ex. If he has a problem with telling her to stop immediately I would then proceed to go over his head and bring it to the authorities attention...he doesn't want child services getting involved and they would.
Have you talked about it with your son? Personally I think he is too old and it is unnecessary at that age to be bathing with an adult let alone an adult of the opposite sex.
I don't shower/bath with my 4 year old, but sometimes I do help him clean-up if he is really dirty from playing outside and I do sometimes still wash the 6 & 8 yr olds hair. That being said - my kids do sometime walk in on me in the shower or bath & when I am changing... well one does everytime I am it seems like. Oh and they like asking me questions when I'm going potty too.
My girls are 17 yrs, 8 yrs & 5 mo and my boys are 6 yrs, 4 yrs, and 19 mos. They also seem to walk in on daddy a lot, too. Kinda sucks having 8 people in a house with one bath :)
But if you are uncomfertable about it - make a mention about it... but do it nicely. You don't want to rock the boat to hard if she is his main caregiver there... don't want her being mean just because you upset her.
too old. not okay. i would have to say something.
The only time I have ever showered with my son is when we were camping, and there was no other way to get him clean. Even then, I wore my bathing suit, got him cleaned and handed off to dad or big sister, then I took my shower. I have nothing against other people choosing to shower with their own child, but having a 5 year old boy myself, I would be very uncomfortable if someone else were to bring him into the shower with them. So basically, I would talk to your ex, calmly explain your concerns, and ask if they are willing to come up with a solution to the problem.
I agree, a little too old to be showering with any adult at this point.
I am fairly liberal when it comes to nakedness within families, but I think 5 years old is too old for a child to be showering naked with a parent (or parental figure) of either gender. Although privacy boundaries will vary between families/cultures/individual preferences, I think it's important for kids to learn about times when privacy is generally called for, and bathing is (generally speaking) one of those times. Is there a reason they bathe together? At five years old, I would certainly think your son is old enough to have a bath in a bathtub while an adult is either in the bathroom or just nearby.
As a mom, I don't mind bathing with my kids (1 boy, 1 girl) or being naked in front of them, but I don't think I'd feel comfortable with this situation. I would probably talk to Dad first. If things continued and it was obvious he hadn't broached the subject with her, I would then go to her personally.
For me, 3 is the cut-off so I do think 5 is way too old to be showering/bathing with a member of the opposite sex.
I would not like that AT ALL. I showered with my son till he as about 4, and that was only if we were in a mega hurry and he had just gotten a mud bath or something, but I am his mother. My 5 year old doesn't shower with me at all. There is no reason she should be doing that. I would calmly discuss it with my ex, then if it doesn't stop, I would throw a fit.
I would say something to the father about it.
HELL NO, i dont care if she has been taking care of him, if it were a girl, maybe, but then again, 5. hes school age at 5. this is a big negative.
If you are not comfortable with it then you really need to speak to her about it and just let her know that its not something you want. You are the parent she is the step parent. Im sure she will respect your feelings and obviously since she has been around since he was a baby she probably thinks nothing of it. I am extremely modest - always wear a bathrobe full nightgown just not a naked person. But I will say that my daughter who is 4 just started showering with me every now and then - until now she has been afraid to take showers - always giving her a bath - but there is no way she could take a bath or shower by herself - she can't get the shampoo, conditioner and soap everywhere she needs to and rinse thoroughly. I am totally impressed by those who have kids that can bathe solo who are this age. None of my friends kids bathe alone at this age - I would say the youngest I know who can shower solo with no assistance from a parent is 7. - That's just me.
