Pregnant with Second baby.....does It Get Much Harder??

Updated on September 18, 2007
D.P. asks from Willow Grove, PA
18 answers

I am three months pregnant and already have a 20 month old beautiful daughter. I am just a little worried about having two children now. Is there a huge difference between having 1 child compared to having two?? Do you guys think things get harder by having two or is it kinda the same? Any advice or suggestions are appreciated!! Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Wow thanks to everyone for sharing! It was all very helpful. I'm definitely gonna need a tighter schedule now lol!!

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A.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I just had my second baby in June. My girls are about 27 months apart. It takes more time to get out of the house, but it hasn't been that much harder yet. However, my 2 year old is a great big sister and a great sleeper. If she were like some other 2 year olds I know, I think it would be much harder! So, my answer for you is that I think it depends on the kid. If you first is as good as mine, you should be ok.

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M.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

oh women, it will be okay. I am also a sahm. It does take some time to get use too. I have three and two step-sons. So it was hard at first, i felt like the brady bunch, but once I got everyone's routine down I was okay. Although even although the baby had his own thing, it took some time....Goodluck and if I could do it so can you;)

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L.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Sure! It's harder to have two instead of one. But you can't do anything about that now! LOL Just kidding!
Yes, it's more work, and you'll be dealing with very different developmental needs. It's exhausting but it's so worth it. My two boys are 25 months apart. They are 17 and 19 now, and it's been wonderful and much easier to have them close together, especially now that they are older. My brother and I are 6-1/2 years apart, and we didn't have a lot of shared growing up experiences. In fact, by the time I was 11, he joined the army and moved out the house! My boys have attended the same grade schools and high schools at times, and currently, they are both dating girls from the same class/high school. They move in the same social circles and look out for each other -- and sometimes torment and tease each other, too.
Expect to be very, very tired. Expect that some days you'll just want to cry because you'll be overwhelmed. But also expect wonderful times, and know that it gets better. You'll have twice as much love in the family now, and that's such a huge blessing!

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W.I.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi D. -

Congratulations on your new baby!

I had my second son when my first one was almost 2 yrs. old. Like you, I had a lot of concerns about two.

I can tell you for me it has been soooooo wonderful. I am not sure if I am just a calmer, more experienced Mom or if my second baby is just easier than the first. And a lot of my friends had their second children just before or after me, they said the same thing, they are calmer, more experienced and the baby seems like such a pleasure.

Both of my boys have Acid Reflux, which with my 1st child was not diagnosed for several months and he was just misberable until we got him on the right medicine. But with my second child I knew right away that he had it too, got him on the medicine and he has been a very happy baby.

I remember my biggest concern was taking both of them out alone. My oldest was going through a stage of darting away from me in parking lots, into the street etc. After getting one of those harness things and making him wear it for a few outings. He finally started staying right by me, and I can even let him walk next to the grocery cart with the baby in the seat and there are no problems.

I do a lot of prep. with my older child, telling him where we are going what we will do, what is expected of him (stay by Mommy, don't yell in a restaraunt, etc). And my baby just loves his older brother.

Hopefully for you, you will find the second is easier as the first.

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J.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

My husband and I found 2 children to be about 1.5 times harder than one. The first child changes your life considerably. The second child fits in with the family routine much easier. You are already used to the changes in sleep and the other demands of a child.

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E.T.

answers from Philadelphia on

Greetings D..

I found the first year to be harder. However, after my second son was able to get around, my older son was very protective of my younger son. I will never forget the best piece of advice I received. "Make sure your child is capable of playing by himself/herself." This will help you out tremendously for years to come!!!

Good luck! Enjoy the good times and don't stress out about the bad. Tomorrow is always a new day!

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D.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think 2 children were easier then when i had one. As a first time mom everythign is new and your not as comfortable at whats right and wrong with so many others chiming in with advice. By the second child you'll be much more comfortable and things will be easier. The added bonus is as they get older they can entertain each other.

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A.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi D.! I have two kids right now. My son is 3 1/2 and my daughter is 1 year old. I don't think it was too much of an adjustment for me. I think it's pretty easy right now. I hear it is hard when you go from 2 to 3 kids. then once you have 3, it's just all the same.

My kids are 2 years and 9 months apart. I think it was a perfect age difference because once my 2nd child was born, my 1st child understand direction (like knowing to hold my hand in a parking lot). I am open to having other age differences with my hopefully future babies though too!

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A.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

Now that I have 3 children (almost 7, almost 5, and 20 months) I realize that having 2 was much easier than 3! It's overwhelming in the beginning, but after about a year I felt like I was in a good groove with the 2 kids. Remember---save your sanity with babysitting (3-4 hours a week is usually good)! And I started my 2 year old in a 3 morning/week program when the baby was born.
Take lots of pictures and videos!! Your delicious angels will be talking back to you before you know it.

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L.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

I know having two at the same time can be hard. The only hard part will be when they are both on the run. I had twins and waited 7years before having another. For me it is hard, due to the age differnce. But your kids will be close in age. Best of luck.

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J.J.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi D. P! I am a mother of three and I thought there was definitely a noticible change! everything will be double now... but i'm sure you'll do great!

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B.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter was 22 months when my son was born. It is hard sometimes but also fun. You will have good days and bad but it is all worth it. They are now 1 and 2 and it has gotten easier in some ways but difficult in others. You are a SAHM so it should be a litlle easier but make sure to take time for yourself or you will go crazy. It's normal to be scared but everything will be fine. Good Luck.

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J.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am also pregnant with my second (due Nov. 19). My daughter will be 20 months by then. I think it will be hard at first but you will just get into a routine just like you had to when you had your first. My mom had 3 in diapers (we're all 13 months apart!) and she made it work. Also I keep hearing that when you have a second child it is much easier than the first because you are not nearly as overwhelmed as you were the first time. My mom always tells me that I won't believe why I thought it was so hard the first time and that I'll be a pro with the second one.

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R.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My boys are 26 months apart. Things that I have noticed are harder are going out alone with both kids. I tried taking both to the doctor's office once and my 2.5 year old decided to make a run for it... it's a little hard to chase a toddler while carrying a baby in an infant carseat, diaper back, and pocketbook - all while trying not to disturb the other patients. And it's just more of an effort to stop at a Wawa real quick.

But other than that, I don't think anything else is much harder. My oldest helps get diapers and blankets and pacifiers for his little brother and will sing to him when he's upset. I always wanted my kids to be close in age so they could play together growing up. It may be tough at first, but I'm sure it will be worth it.

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S.T.

answers from Philadelphia on

I have three and btween two and three I have a 10 year gap. I was concerned and it made my stomach hurt, but now that she is here and 20months old and I have three kids floating around it is fine. I wish I had more arms at times. Good luck with baby #2. www.livegreeneasy.com

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E.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi, D.,

You will be more relaxed with Baby #2, although much busier! The main thing to remember is to make some time each day for special time with your first child. This will reduce the sibling rivalry factor! Also, you could cuddle with #1 while feeding #2. Dad could also help by spending time alone with each of your kids (helps you out, too).

You'll do fine! Just don't expect #1 to be totally in love with #2 at first. A suggestion that worked great for us: Have a wrapped present on hand for #1 and when #2 is born, have your husband give the gift to her and say it is from the new baby. This makes a really good impression on #1.

My two kids are almost exactly three years apart and have turned out pretty well (they're now 31 and 28!)and each have one of their own. Best wishes!

E.

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R.I.

answers from Philadelphia on

i just had my second child who is now 6 months old. my first was almost 2.5 when she was born. luckily i didn't have many jealousy issues.

now that the baby is sitting on her own and becoming more mobile, my toddler is getting more joy out of this new relationship because her sister can finally play with her.

i won't lie to you, it's been a tough road. my worst problem is NO SLEEP!!!! some days it's very difficult but i'm waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel. my first child slept thru the night, no problem. my second, totally different story!!

i have a feeling that in a year or two, it will get easier, and the kids will keep each other entertained. in the long run, i think having two will be better than having an only child.

during the end of my second pregnancy, my first acted up alot more than usual, but after i had the baby, it stopped. i think kids can sense things are different, plus i was way too big and tired to do anything about it!

the first year was the hardest for me, the first time around, then it got better, so i'm hoping that will be the case again. if so, i only have another six months to go!!!

good luck, all the hardship is definately worth it!!!!

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D.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hello I have 3 children I think is does get a little harder because your first wonts and being 20 months old need that attention from you. Just as much as the baby would. My Kids are 5, 2 and 1 The two youngest I feel is the hardiest.But keep in mind the would grow up so fast and the my be Best friend when they get older. It would be hard but you can get it done.

I am so glad I had my kids so close. Then I can live my life when am older

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