Pregnant with 2Nd Child - Delano,MN

Updated on March 02, 2011
K.O. asks from Delano, MN
16 answers

Hi, we currently have a little girl who will turn 3 in May. We just found out today that our 2nd baby (due in July) is also a girl. What are people's experiences with raising 2 girls. Are any of you moms 1 of two sisters in your family? What was it like growing up? I'm worried that the two will be competitive since they are both girls. I'm worried that I will compare them too much because they are the same sex. I'm definately not disappointed, because I know that all babies are blessings no matter what--and it is meant to be---i guess I'm just wondering what it will be like to raise two girls---I am the youngest of an older brother.
Thanks!!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

I am one of 2 girls -- My sister is 3.5 years younger than me. She was always compared to me (by other people, not my parents), and I was an overachiever. It made her withdraw a bit as she got into middle school and high school. Once I graduated, she came into her own -- found things she enjoyed more, some of the teachers I had retired, etc. Let's say she "wandered" a bit more about making a life decision on a career path, etc. but I think that is her personality and not a result of being the younger sister of only 2 girls. Just make a concerted effort to not compare them and treat the two as individuals -- allow them to explore their own interests and don't force the younger girl into the same things big sis did simply because that is what you are used to :) It will all work out. My sister is now successful, a newlywed and has her head on straight. By the way -- we always played together and had fun together...she has always leaned on me, though I do not lean on her.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Albany on

I am a sibling of 2 brothers and 3 sisters. My oldest sister 12 years older then I. Then the next is 8 years older and then 4 years older. The one that was 4 years older always was getting in trouble, so then I wasnt allowed to do much. It was strict with it being that way. But when female issues came about the sisters a perfect to talk to. any issue aht i felt embarrased to talk to my mom about, I talked to my sister knowing she had been through it or could help me. I would be happy. I have a boy who is going to be 3, and i want a brother or sister for him. Good Luck

More Answers

V.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have 2 younger sisters... One is 2 years younger and the other is 4 years younger.

I don't want to scare you, but be warned... Just because they are both girls, does not mean that the fights won't get physical. I think it actually gets more physical than it would with 2 boys. Boys fight with their hands... Girls find weapons (Pencils (Throwing them at each other), books (Throwing them at each other), belts, and pool cues... To name a few.

How we all survived... And how my mother didn't go insane... Is still a mystery.

Good luck :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have two girls that are 3.5 years apart. They play together and truly love each other. Yes they bicker and fight like any other siblings but I love having 2 girls. I just went on vacation with my own sister and we are great friends. I am very excited for my girls to have that relationship as they grow.

M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

My sister and I are 18 months apart. I will be honest and say that I couldn't stand her growing up. She always wanted to be a part of the stuff my friends and I were doing, and it wasn't okay in my opinion. My mom definitely forced her on me a lot. Now, however, we are very close. I think once my mom realized that she had to let us learn on our own, we became closer. It may take some time, but hopefully your girls can one day be close like my sister and I are.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.P.

answers from Cleveland on

me and my sister were almost 8 years apart. I am not close with her at all, i actually can not stand her (she is the oldest) because of how she has always treated me but with them being close in age it may be different your daughter will be able to teach baby sister things and baby sister could have someone to confind in if they are close

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.F.

answers from Raleigh on

I have two daughters currently 3 1/2 and 27 months old. Obviously since they are very close in age, they play a lot together and for the most part get along, so far. Now that their personalities are becoming more pronounced, it is easier to see that they are very different and that I cannot compare them and/or parent them exactly the same way effectively. This is a challenge sometimes, but even if they were a boy and a girl there would be differences. This is all new to me since I am an only child. I am reading books on personalities and birth order to better equip me to handle it all. :)

The best part is reusing the clothes you loved for the first daughter again on the second one! We also have an 11 month old baby boy and are trying for #4. Hey, why not!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.Y.

answers from New York on

I have one younger sister who is my only sibling. We are about 5 years apart. It was a rough adjustment for me when she was born (the same week I started Kindergarten) and I resented her for a while when we were kids. We fought some as kids but that stopped mostly when I was about 12. We are good friends now. My mom is the oldest of 5 siblings and 4 are girls. Sometimes there is teasing or bickering but generally everyone gets along well. I loved having so many aunts growing up.

I would have liked to have 2 girls myself but I have a boy and a girl. It was hard at first for my son to get used to the baby (they are 3 years apart) but is getting better now that the younger one is 2 and can play more with him.

M.M.

answers from Detroit on

We have 3 & 5 year old girls and they are the BEST of friends. They are so close and love one another sooooo much, it's AWESOME!!! I had a brother that was 4 years younger growing up, so I never had this kind of a bond. Sure it would have been nice to have a boy & a girl, but I would not change what we have for the world. I think they will have a closeness for the rest of their lives because they are sisters.

And bonus for us, is hand me downs for baby # 2. My oldest was an April baby and youngest was an Oct. baby, thought they would be off seasons wise with clothes. Boy was I wrong, I can use MOST items for my little one that my oldest previously used.

Plus all the girly toys and pink stuff you most likely have will get extra use :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.K.

answers from Sheboygan on

I have 2 girls who are 4 years and 3 months apart (Mother Nature didn't cooperate any sooner, LOL). I LOVE IT!!! I think it will depend largely on the personality of your oldest initially. My younger one idolizes her big sister, and the older one absolutely adores the younger one. We are just now (they are 2 1/2 and going on 7) getting to the stage where the younger one gets sad/upset when the older one leaves her out and where the older one purposely hides "her" toys so the younger one can't play with them. Keep it positive and encouaraging. It's wonderful!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.A.

answers from Atlanta on

I have a sister 4 years older than me and we fought alot as most siblings do but in the end we had each others back and still do ;()) I have twin daughters and it is the best thing in the entire world! Not only do I have ONE daughter to love I have TWO and its weird because you wonder how you can love both of them the same or worry that you might love one more than the other but you don't its the same. It is awesome! I cannot imagine my life without them of course I have no experience with boys so I guess I am a little biased ;()) Cogratulations!

S.P.

answers from Nashville on

It was just me and my older sister who is 3 years older then me. We played all the time together growing up. I always wore her clothes in high school. We were totally different though but now that im 21 and shes 24 we hang out together all the time. When i want someone to go shopping with she's the first one i call. Its great having a sister.

A.D.

answers from Norfolk on

I have 2 sisters and we are 23, 25 and 27 years old. We fought a lot growing up (especially in the teenage years), but we also had some very good times and lots of fond memories together. The best thing my mom did was not force us to be friends. She understood that we all had our own lives and were unique. We also have 2 brothers (who are the oldest and youngest out of the 5 of us) and I think they feel left out sometimes when we're all together because my sisters and I pretty much have our own language haha

They are my absolute best friends now, I wouldn't trade them for anything. One of them lives next door to me and the other lives about 20 minutes away and we hate how far she is and the fact that we only get to see her about once a week. Your girls will be very lucky to have eachother--you are giving your daughter the greatest gift by giving her a sister! Congratulations on your pregnancy :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I don't have two girls,(1 girl, 1 boy) but I wanted to say that your second daughter will be the exact opposite of your first daughter. If you ask any mother of more than one child, they will all tell you that the two are nothing alike, regardless if they are the same sex or not. So even though you may try to compare them as they grow up, they will likely be very different people and tough to compare. :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

My sister and I are three years apart, like yours will be, and we have always been close.

My sons are three years apart and have always been close.

I think it matters what the parents think will happen, and what they do. I always assumed my kids would be close, and have done plenty to foster that. Not getting along with your sibling just doesn't enter my world view.

I don't know if this is part of it, but we are a very affectionate family. When the baby was born, his brother was very sweet and gentle and loving to him -- and still is!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Well, I know a family with FOUR girls.
They are ALL different from each other.
But, the thing with this family and it being all girls of varying ages is that, they all get along.
It is their parents... and despite all the girls having different personalities... they are all following their own interests and talents. AND they all help... with each other.
The family is very strong that way.
The parents.
They are not the harsh hard core disciplinarian types that wield their 'power' via spanking or black/white parenting. But they teach their kids to look out FOR each other, and that they are all, sisters. Not adversaries.
And the kids, are really well adjusted... nice kids. Really good hearted and not jealous or anything icky like that.

So, sure, don't compare your 2 kids. No matter what gender. And let them be, themselves.
Nurture, 'teamwork' and what being siblings are... and family.

I have sisters. One of them, was REALLY a pain. Major jealousy. She being one up from me in age. She had major resentment, toward me, most of her life. NOT pleasant. And it was also her personality.

So with that in mind, the one thing I can say is: BEFORE your 2nd child is born (and I did this with my own Eldest child who was 3 going on 4 when I had my 2nd child)... is to: PREP your child BEFORE the baby is born. Incorporate her into your pregnancy. So that they 'bond.' Even before baby comes home. I did that with my eldest. I took photos of her each month, with her and my growing belly. She sang and talked to my belly, her little brother. I talked to her about what a baby is: they wake, cry, breastfeed. But it is MOMMY's job. Not hers. That she can tell me ANYTHING she is feeling and I am right there for her. That she is my FIRST baby. Always. I even took her to my Prenatal exams, which my Doc encouraged, and he even showed her how to use the Doppler heart monitor on my belly. ALL of that, helped my Daughter, PREP for her baby brother coming home. She was ALREADY "bonded" with him.... before he was actually born. She thus had no adjustment problems, having a new baby in the house. Being that was she was an 'only child' for 4 years. My kids being 4 years apart.
I treated my pregnancy not as "My" pregnancy... but as a time to acclimate my Daughter, to having a sibling. I used that whole 9 months of being Pregnant... to help my daughter... understand and come to an understanding, of having a new sibling.

all the best,
Susan

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions