Brother/ Sister Relationships

I am the youngest of 5 children, 3 brothers and 1 sister. We are all adults. We fought periodically growing up. we live all over the United States but love getting together when we can. Don't accept the things other people ar saying. They are only speaking out of their bad experiences.

S.

My brother and sister have always been close.
They never fought like cats and dogs and to this day--one is 35 and the other is 37--they are still close. They were pretty much inseparable when they were teenagers..My sister was always around my brother and his friends..it was like she had more brothers..in fact she married one!

J.

I have a boy and a girl, 2-1/2 years apart, and they are (and have been) very close. They are now 17 and 15. When sibling rivalry moments arose, one thing my hubby and I did was never allow them to say or behave insultingly toward each other. We would immediately nip that behavior in the bud.

Good luck!

Hi C., I only had one boy (much to my dismay- but so thankful for him!) However, my sister had 4-1 girl and 3
boys. Jeannette, Rus and Chris are close in age, but Josh
came when Jeannette was 14, Rus was 12, and Chris was 10.
I remember so well when my sister. Barb use to tell them,
"Be kind to your brother or sister, what ever the case would be. We went bowling one time when Josh was about 1.
his siblings took the best care of him and even let him roll the ball down the lane. To this day they are so close, still loving and kind to each other even with the great distance in years between Josh and the other three. Keep the good work up of reminding your children to take care of each other to be loving and kind one to another. It sure pays off. God Bless, K.

Hi C. -
I think it's lovely that your children get along so well. We have a 10 y.o. girl, two boys (almost 7 and almost 5) and a 3 y.o. girl. They are inseperable!! They always have been. Of course occasionally they disagree about a game to play or a toy to share, but I am so grateful for the love and support they show to each other. Every sporting event or school function, the other three are right there cheering for their sibling. I think sometimes other parents who aren't in the same boat assume it's too good to be true. I wouldn't be too concerned about comments. It's much better to be whispered about for having children that get along so well than for idly sitting by as your children beat the snot out of each other. Keep up the good work!

I grew up with two older brothers and we got along very well as children (I dont remember ANY arguments or fighting) and have always been close. I moved over here from England and miss my brothers so much.....

i have a 9 year old girl and 7 year old boy and they are best friends. once in awhile they do fight but mostly they get along great and really look out for each other.

i think it depends on their age gap, and how you raise them and the environment they are in. my brother and i are 2 years apart and we fought really bad!!! it wasn't untill college when we got along. we talk more now then we did growing up.

Hi C.,

I have 2 older brothers, one who is 5 years old than me, and one who is 19 months older than me. Growing up, we were all very close (especially me the brother close in age) - my mom would say we were "great friends". We hit middle & high schools and couldn't stand to be around each other, had different friends, and basically just didn't get along. Once we went away to college and to this day, we are back to having a great relationship - and our spouses and children included.
I think it's normal for some sibling relationships to change & go through ups and downs - but I never understood why people feel the need to say "they're going fight so much" etc. They might, and they might not!

Enjoy your babies!

B.

I can only tell you about my experience with my brother growing up. I am 2 1/2 years older, we did fight like cats and dogs a lot of times. Not to say that we never had fun together, we were able to play together a lot of times but I think the fighting is a bit natural. My senior year of high school when he started to realize I was going to be moving away we started to get really close and we've stayed that way for 10 years now. I can remember fighting with my brother, but I remember the good times more.

I was an only child however my husband has a sister with whom he is EXTREMELY close. He's always told me that they seldom fought growing up and they are still the best of friends. It's not a forgone conclusion that your kids are going to despise each other. Like you said, I'm sure they'll have their disagreements but I'm guessing that they'll always remain close as they are now :)

C.,
I can speak from experience in both areas. I have a younger brother, and I have a boy and girl 2 1/2 years apart. My answer is yes to both. They don't really despise each other, that is too strong of a word for my kids. What I see is that they are close when they are alone and/or when they have time to spend together with no other friends around. They are protective of each other, as were my brother and I. They are encouraging to one another, also, but they argue. They are competetive and each likes to have the last word. The arguing, however, did not start until my son turned 12-13. At the same time it is amazing to watch him mentor her in softball, they are both catchers. My brother and I were close until I left for college, but I helped raise my brother due to family issues. I think that there is some natural "stuff" that they go through as individuals; but, what my husband and I have done have given expectations and boundaries as to their behavior. They both believe the other gets into more trouble than the other, typical. We just try to be consistent and pray. Hope this helps.
b

While my brother and I had our moments, and although I wouldn't say we were close as children we could get along. Now, as adults, we get along great. I would say that once we got into high school our relationship changed. I would think that if your children are close now, they will remain so as adults. There may be a time, depending on their age now, that they go through a phase where although they still love each other that they have a rougher relationship, however, they will weather that phase just fine. When my brother and I were young we got along great. Today we laugh about the things we did to each other.

Kids are always going to have some kind of quarrel or fight. I came from 6 bro/sis. Yes, we had are differences but, on the other hand, we had so much fun growing up together. We always played games together, built forts in the basement, went for bike rides. Try not to listen to the negativity. All kids are different. You just raise your kids the way you know best:)
Good Luck.

I have a son and a daughter. Yes they argue but all siblings do. They also enjoy time together.

Unless it escalates to intense arguing or something physical, I would say it sounds like your kids are normal.

We can hear what others have to say and that apply what we feel is right for our own family.

Hi C.,

I have a daughter (6) and a son (4). They are very close and I wouldn't have it any other way. They play together all of the time, yes they do argue from time to time but they are best friends. I wouldn't worry about what others say. I think it is all in how you raise your children. :)

Unfortunatly i think its nature. At one point and time they will dispise each other but than after a point and time they will grow to love each other again normal. Its life.

My brother is two years younger than I. Growing up, we were very close, although we had our difficulties. (I remember beating him up more than once)! We had our own friends, but we spent a lot of time together. I think it helped that we had similar interests in high school. Our parents taught us to respect each other and support each other. I can honestly say that growing up, he was always my best friend and now at the age of fifty, he still is.
K

All siblings have their squabbles! My closest sibling for many years, as kids and young adults WAS my younger brother (by 2 1/2 years) He has chosen one of those wives that pull men away from their original families :( My older sister (by 3 1/2 years) and I were never close until she got married and moved away, now we talk ever day. My younger sister (by 7 years) and I were always "thrown together". We have always had a good relationship. No worries! You can't control their relationship. Hooray for them that they love eachother and can play together now...this will grow a good future relationship. Now, with my own children...I have 3 girls 25, 27 and 30...they have had their moments over the years...even fighting over bras of all things, but they continue to be close even though they are spread out from Michigan to Oregon.

C. T,

I just wanted to let you know..I have a boy and a girl...now 8(my son) and 14(my daughter). Ever since they were very little they have been close. They have an argument every once in a great while..but over all they get along splendidly. Don't listen to other people..how they get along is accredited to your parenting. So pat yourself on your back and be greatful that they do get along. I have noticed they really stick together through a lot of moments. My daughter has a tendency to mother him which is natural for a girl. Just keep doing what you are doing!

My brother and I were the only two kids in the family, and we are still close to this day. We would take turns choosing games, so he got to play his boy games, and I got to play my girl games hehe. Of course we fought as kids here and there, but now we're both in our 40's and know that when we need the other, they'll be there. Just because you have 2 kids of opposite sex, does not mean they are automatically set up to hate each other and not get along. That comes from how you raise them, and their individual personalities. I now have 6 kids, 2 his, 3 mine and one ours, and of course they have fought, and 'hated' each other at times, but all their lives, I have told them, as my mom told me, people will come and go in your lives, but your siblings will always be there for you. There is no 'half' or 'step' involved in our family, they are just brother and sisters, and will be for the rest of their lives. Don't stress about what other people say, raise your kids by following your heart, and they will be fine.

Your kids have a great relationship with each other, and the people who say to watchout otherwise obviously didn't have that same experience. I have 3 kids and they are all close isn their own ways. My youngest, a boy, has a 2 year difference with the next oldest girl. Yes they do fight sometimes, but they are very close and look out for each other.

This is my experience: I now have 4 adults that were once children. (I have always told people I was raising adults not children.) I have 2 sons and 2 daughters, in that order. They are the best of friends and even as kids, they were friends,and playmates and seldom fought. My #2 son treated his first sister as "his baby" when he was only 2. My kids are about 2 years apart, except the girls, they are 33 months apart. Except for the grace of God, I'm not sure why there was not much sibling rivalry, as most of my friends experienced. Your children can be friends--encourage it. Remind them that sometimes your family is all you have when times are tough.

C.-

My brother and I are only 14 months apart in age, and we were best friends growing up. Sure, we had our squabbles and learned to punch each other's buttons from time to time, but usually we got along very well. We moved a LOT when we were young, so I'm not sure if this strenghthened our relationship or if we would have still been close without that as a factor.

I think your kids will figure out how to coexist in a way that suits them and their personalities. I wouldn't worry too much about it. If they get along now, they're probably already on the right track. :)

i have brother , 1 year old. we use to fight like cats and dogs. but we played with each other every day. grow up we had the some friends. went to high school together. did a lot together.still we talk once a week and have some much fun talk about all the things we did to each other and things that happen in are live. we are still there for each other. but to me life play out how god wants. so i guess you will have to wait and see.

my husband has 2 younger sisters.. He doesnt hate them.. but he rarely talks to them.. maybe 4 times a year. they do live out of state. the sisters are 4 and 12 years younger than him so there was a big age gap.

I have a boy and a girl and they are 18 months apart. theay are like twins.. I think they will be close because they are always together. The age gap makes a big difference ..

Hello C.,

I have 4 children. Two boys and two girls. They are now in the 20's. They are great friends. Yes when they were growing up they would fight and annoy each other but that was the time as a parent I used as life lessons for getting along. I would remind them that is home is a safe place. That outside this place I can't protect them from people saying hurtful things inside this home everyone should find encouragement. We did things together to bulid memories and friendship and took time to laugh and enjoy each others company. Because you are asking the question and looking for answers tells me that you will do a wonderful job as they grow up.

Two of my sisters had boy/girl children. And these kids are all adults now and even growing up got along fine. Sure there was the occasional disagreement, but I've never seen kids get along so well like my nieces/nephews.

There is no hard and fast rule about it. If you create an amiable environment, there's no reason they shouldn't grow up getting along.

Hi C.,
I just thought I would share my growing-up experience with you. I have one brother who is three and a half years older than I. We played together quite well until he reached puberty (about 14, I guess). Then he wanted nothing to do with his little sister and we fought horribly. However, after we had both matured a bit (when he was about 18 and I about 15), we became friends again. In fact, we worked together, and he let me hang out with him and his friends. (I was known as "Little Sister.") We stayed close, and I even had my brother serve as "Attendant of Honor" at my wedding. For many years, my brother was my second-best friend. I hope this encourages you that your children can remain close even if they have a few rough years.
Sincerely
Rachael

I have a brother who is 18mo younger than me and one who is 3 1/2 years younger than me. We always played together growing up. Of course we had our normal sibling rivalry but we have always been close. We went to the same college and hung out together. Now I am 43yrs old and my brothers are two of my best friends. I think that if you encourage your children to be close and remind them growing up that in the end family is the most important thing and that other friends will come and go but you will always have your siblings they will remain close.

Goodness C.! People say the most ridiculous things! Why would anyone tell you that your children will fight and get on each other's nerves??? What do they know???
I have a brother who is two years younger than me. We never got along very well, fought constantly as kids, and we're not all that close as adults. We text and email each other every week and I'm looking forward to his visit next month. So, it's not like we hate each other...we just don't have a lot in common!
HOWEVER...this has nothing to do with the fact that he's a boy and I'm a girl or that we're two years apart in age. We're just very different and always have been. Some siblings are close and some aren't! Every situation is different.
It sounds like your children have a very nice relationship. Just enjoy it and don't worry about the dumb things that others say!