Hang in there girl. Who wouldn't feel overwhelmed in your situation?
My marriage almost didn't survive our first child. Not to say that our little boy isn't the light of our life, but he was just enough challenge to push us to the edge and we separated last summer. We're back together now, after lots of counseling and repeated apologies for how we treated each other during that stressful time.
This may not be the answer for you, but as a follower of Christ, I believe it can be the answer for everyone...
When my husband gave up on us and we separated, I was left feeling completely empty, heartbroken and lost. I never imagined that I could feel better. I was convinced that recovery from the trauma I was experiencing was beyond reach. I would never trust again and I would be bitter forever. Among the other voices telling me that I was right to feel that way, one friend kept telling me to take my pain to Jesus.
I finally reached a point where I couldn't handle the pain and the pressure of the responsibility of raising my 9-month-old son on my own. So I got on my knees and asked for peace. Anyone who has ever recieved Jesus can tell you that the relief is indescribable. Of course, all my problems were not instantly solved, but I finally felt like I truly was not alone. To feel like there is a higher being who actually loves me enough to listen to my cry for help, one tiny voice in a world full of grief, gave me the strength to keep going. And the more I prayed, the more I was able to do things I never thought I could do.
When my husband came to me and begged for a second chance, I had every right to tell him it was too late, but I was able to let go of my anger and forgive him. We are now happier than we have ever been. Our situation is still stressful, money is tight, and our little boy (now almost 2) is even more challenging than before. My husband can't work right now and our son has some medical issues. But I'm not afraid any more and I know that God will get us through this, and anything else life throws at us.
This may not be what you want to hear, but I felt compelled to share, so maybe it's what you need. We were never promised that life would be easy. But we were promised comfort and love. Even if you don't believe in what I'm telling you, I hope you will be comforted in knowing that I care for you and I will pray for you and your family.
With love and care,
T. Q