K.O.
Your feelings are perfectly normal, yet try not to "what if" yourself to death. You definitely have your hands full, but you will survive. We always do. Try to change your attitude, journal the positives in your life and focus on them. Let the negatives disappear. There are always positives and negatives in our lives, but we make the "choice" on what we want to focus on. You will get through this even though you may not feel like you will right now. I love the saying..."This too shall pass." One thing we are guaranteed in life is that...it will change! That is a definite. Meditate, journal, and remember to breathe! If all of those "what if's" come true, you will handle it. If your baby is born autistic, you will love him/her just as much as you do your autistic daughter. But, you don't know the future, you don't know what's going to happen. Live in the moment, today, right now. Don't waste time and energy on what "may" happen. You need all the time and energy you have to live in this moment, and that's all that matters right now. We don't know what tomorrow may bring, or if we'll have a tommorow. So, cherish this moment, your children, your husband, your unborn baby, and especially yourself! Give that unborn baby lots of love and let him/her know he/she is wanted in this world.