Pregnancy - Highland Lakes,NJ

Does not really sound like you want another. IMO the more the merrier,
but that is a very personal decision. Really think you need to decide asap.

It's really a personal decision between you & your husband. and because it may be your "last chance" (which it isn't) isn't a reason to have another baby.
If you found a baby on your doorstep tomorrow would you be thrilled? Or panicked? Would you adopt if you had difficulty again? Those may be signs that you WANT another. Does the thought of middle of the night screaming make you want to run & hide? So then, maybe not.
I had my (only) son at 39 and had a perfectly normal pregnancy with no complications. Unless you count the time I almost back-handed the nurse when she said something about "advanced maternal age"......then it almost got VERY complicated! :)

Hello DaizyGirlz:

It is critical to make that decision on having the baby first. Your mind must be ready or there will be complications.

I had my first child at 44 and trilled that I did. He is now 5 and perfect. He is a boy and the most loving one you could imagine.

I also had miscarriage problems that I resolved using the following. This program also made it much easier to get pregnant.

Ovarian Complex - 60: 2 capsules twice a day for 4 to 8 weeks. - http://www.mbinutraceuticals.com/product39.html

Livachol - 60: 2 capsules twice a day for 4 to 8 weeks. - http://www.mbinutraceuticals.com/product237.html

AllerVimin - 60: 3 capsules twice a day after food.- http://www.mbinutraceuticals.com/product79.html

I tried many prenatals that seem to be fair but when I switched to Allervimin my energy doubled and I just felt great. I'm sure there are other one that are great also.

Be sure you are on a prenatal weeks before trying to get pregnant.

There are other things I was recommended but this is what did the job.

Good Luck

Kim

I had my son at 42. He is 3 now and perfect. Your chances of miscarriage are increased just because our fertility declines as we age but otherwise your risk of birth defects is still relatively low. I think you got some really good advice below. Its a hard decision I know but I'm sure you will make the right decision. Good luck!

I had so many miscarriages between my 3rd and 4th child it wasn't funny, we actually lost count after a while. Yes it is hard to go through but when you finally carry a baby to term it makes all those previous pregnancies worth it. Anyway my 3rd was 8 years and 9 months older than his brother and let me tell you those 2 are as close as can be especially now. When I had Justin, Becky was 13, Kenny was 10 and Jeffrey was 8 and then 2 years later I got pregnant again with my 5th. Would I do it all again, most definitely, all 5 of my kids are extremely close. Becky is now 27, Kenny 25, Jeffrey 23, Justin 14, and Derek is 11 and they are all extremely close, especially Jeffrey and Becky with Justin and Derek. One other thing, I was 39 when I had Derek and my husband was 53, our age never made a difference. I hope my experience helps you in your decision.

It may be one of your last chances. Sure there are risks, but everyone has them. Just stay healthy. A baby is always a blessing. And you don't want to be mad at yourself when it is too late! Get lots of exercise, watch your diet, practice relaxation. You should be ok

Edit: I did say ONE of the last chances. Some women hit menopause early, it runs ealier in my family, so it could be right around the corner. And, yes, every baby is a blessing, a gift from God. It is what a person does with it. Actually the Bible does say blessed are those who are persecuted for HIS name's sake also, so while we may not "FEEL" blessed, we truely are. People just take for granted what they have...
Ya'll should read the story of the lost pearl...

I think that a lot of Drs consider age to be less significant than your overall health. Yes, the likelyhood of various problems does increase with age but if you are healthy and eager to have another child, don't let 40 scare you away.

I'm in a similar situation--had many, many losses including a late 2nd trimester loss due to pre-term labor. We finally have a daughter and are delighted. It was such a long road to get her--took over 10 years! It is wonderful to be a parent but it took so long that neither DH nor I (I am almost 40 and he is 52) have the energy we used to have when we were younger.

We decided not to try again. Sometimes I really, really wish we could have another chance to experience life with an infant but then I remember the lack of sleep, the exhaustion and stress and I go back to thinking we are right to be content with our one earth angel and the five we have in heaven. Really, you and your DH must take a close look inside and be totally honest about this in order to make the best decision for your family.

Only you can know the ultimate answer, and I love what Denise P. said about how you would feel if you were handed a baby tomorrow to care for -delighted or panicked? Sentenced or like a lifetime opportunity had opened for you? I disagree about every baby being a blessing. I know FAR too many cases of women who felt far more cursed with another baby than blessed! They're blessings if you want them! IF you really want another, then go for it, but there's a lot to be said for being done with the toilet training and the constant neediness. Ask yourself -are you going to always wish you had done it again? Does it bother you now? If you see yourself in 10 years feeling regret and constantly asking "What if?" then do it! I had both of my babies after 35 -the last at 38. I had no problems conceiving and had perfectly healthy babies. Many doctors will tell you they see more birth defects from older moms because that's who they keep the records on! Your fertility does decline with age though, so the next 5 years will see it drop sharply in your case. I had my two fairly close together, but I can honestly say that if I had waited until now (I'm now 40 and my oldest is 4), I wouldn't be getting pregnant again. Of course I ADORE and love with all my heart my youngest, and I really wanted to have him, but it has been difficult with two small ones! One thing you do have going for you if you have another -your oldest is truly old enough to understand a lot more and doesn't require as much intensive care from you (potty training, diapers, feeding, dressing, etc.). Good luck with whatever you decide, and be sure to take your temperament, patience and energy levels into account!

Since you are somewhat ambivalent about it, you could "let nature take its course" and see what God or the Fates bring you.

Or you could have you and your husband each make a list of the "pros and cons" of having another child, including lifestyle changes (pos and neg), financial changes and all the other benefits and detractions you feel a baby would bring, and then sit down together and discuss them. Try to be as honest as you can in your list. You can include things like the "family image" you always imagined (white picket fence, 2.3 kids), whatever you feel is important.

If you both feel that another child would really make your life complete, then I would have a fertility consultation that would evaluate each of your fertility and any issues, and then "get busy" :) I would not let the fear of the miscarriage stop you, as awful as they are.

I'm almost 43, my daughter's 7, and I had a miscarriage ~ 2 years ago. While we would welcome a baby, we are definitely NOT trying for one. My husband is 15 years older than I am and he would REALLY be freaked out at the prospect. It is very nice having a self-sufficient child and not dealing with diapers or having to get up in the middle of the night. It would be a financial and physical burden and it would greatly alter our lifestyle, we love to travel and that is a lot more feasible with one child than 2 (or more). We just bought a house that is tiny. All these things seem little and petty, but they are all things to consider.

This is a decision for you and your husband to make and what is right for me or for anyone else may not be right for you. As for the age difference between your children, it will be like having 2 only children during their childhood (unless you end up with twins). I am the oldest of 3 kids, my one brother is 3 years younger than me, the next is 8 years younger than him, so an 11 year span. My mom always said if she did it again, she would have had a 4th. Now we all get along great, and my 2 brothers are extremely close, but while we were kids, the youngest was always chasing after and feeling inferior to the "big kids". Granted, the 2 of us that were closest in age fought like mad most of the time until I left for college, so space isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Good luck!