How Old Is Too Old??

Hi A. -

I was 40 when I had my only child, a beautiful healthy little girl. I also chose not to have any of the recommended tests for older mom's other than an ultrasound!

I was 36 when I had my youngest who is now 14. There was no problems. I know someone who is near 40 and having her 5th.

Go for it. As long as you feel like you are healthy enough to carry the baby and care for him/her one you have it. Good luck!!!

A.,

Like they say, "you're as young as you feel." So, there is really no age that is "too old" until you and your husband feel too old. I recommend thinking about your energy levels now and for the next few years. Getting three children to all of their activities is harder that just the two you have -- and they haven't even entered the "mom taxi" phase. I think what is even more important is to consider what you and your husband see the FUTURE looking like AFTER the kids are gone from home. Have you thought about retirement age and activities. When do you want that phase of your life to start?

The fact that you already have children takes away any pressure. Your choice is simply about adding to a wonderful family. FYI, I have several friends/relatives that have been in your shoes and have tried for adding "the other gender" to what they have - only to have more of the same (3 boys, 3 girls, some 4 of each!) So, it is a GAMBLE.

The following may seem like a divergent path, but a little background will explain my perspectives and recommendations to you. FYI, most of my close friends had their children late in life. We were a group of career-minded women who established professions first and THEN opted for motherhood. One of my best friends became first time mom at 41; another adopted at 43. We have many other friends who are childless or were 40 and older before starting families. For young women reading this posting, there are both advantages and disadvantages to waiting to have children and/or having children when you are older.

In the case of many of my friends, getting pregnant was NOT as easy as we always envisioned as young women. Several of my friends had to resort to expensive infertility treatments, such as hormone therapy and in vitro fertilization just to become pregnant. In my case, having waited for motherhood until I was older didn't work out so well either. By the time I was "ready" to have a child (early 30's), my marriage was not healthy enough to sustain children (my husband had become an alcoholic.) Instead of having a child, I found myself getting a divorce. I was single for my remaining "last opportunity" years (43-49.) Although some people do, I did not want to have a child after 50 (I am also acquainted with several people who adopted in their mid-50s; some were married and some were single. Adoption was not my passion and I firmly believe children need two parents.)

From a human perspective...if I had a "do over" in life, even with the events of my first marriage dissolving (I doubt THAT would be different because my ex- had a family history of alcoholism), I would have my children when I was very YOUNG (while I was in college or immediately thereafter). At that time, I was close in proximity to parents, grandparents and other relatives that would have loved the experience, as much as I. They would have been help to me when my "would-be children" were in their infancy. And, it is not likely that I would have tolerated my first husband's drinking for as long as I did if children had been involved. In looking back, my model is a cousin who, beginning when she was 18, had 3 boys, two years apart. By her mid-40's, she and her husband had all three sons in college and they were free to resume a couple's life. Now, in their 50's they are beginning to have grandchildren to enjoy. She did not have the career I have had, but she has something far more precious to show for her time.

From a Godly perspective...God is good and has blessed me profoundly. At 49, I married a wonderful man (and although he had been previously married, he is also childless.) The MARVELOUS thing about our lives now is that we have each other for company, we only have the two of us to consider when making choices about travel, recreation, dining out, or whatever! We enjoy life unencumbered. There are certainly times that I am saddened by not having children, because I believe that is the ideal "model" established by God. I primarily miss having children when I reflect on the relationship I have with my own mom and dad. And, if my husband and I live long enough, there will come a day when we are elderly that we will look wistfully at those who have children - both to visit us when we are in an assisted living facility and to help manage and provide for our needs. But, that is not the case for us. And living life to the fullest with my spouse is an absolute joy.

So, A., I recommend that you look at the time period from a decision until you are likely to become pregnant again, and then add 20 years. You will probably be somewhere between 55 and 60. Also, when imagining the future, consider that you MIGHT be the mom of three boys (or even four, if you were to have TWINS (have you thought about that?) What do you and your husband see for yourselves in THAT timeframe. You already have two wonderful sons, so you need to weigh the years with additional children at home against any goals for retirement that you may have with your spouse.

Best wishes on your decision,
K.

I don't know there is an age lol. I'm 38 and just had a beautiful baby girl 6 months ago...and would like another one in about a yr or two. So as long as u feel up to raising them go for it .

Hi A., I had a baby at 35. The doctors did a couple extra ultrasounds and advised me to have several extra tests, which I(we) chose not to. We have a wonderful, healthy boy, our third boy. I did want to have more. My doctor advised me to try, she herself had a baby at 40. Things didn't work out to have another. I am so glad I had the 3rd, even if I was "older". Your chances are high that you have another boy, so be prepared! I love my boys...can't imagine it any other way.

Hi A.,
Don't think for one minuit that you are two old to have another baby. As long as you are in good health and eat right there is absolutely no reason that you can't have children for as much as ten more years. I had my son at 43 and he was healthy and beautiful and I didn't even have one stretch mark. I think it helped that I walked alot during my pregnancy. Also it is said that if you have children in your later years it adds to your longevity.
Go for it
W.

A.- more and more older women are having healthy babies (even though there are risks). I am one of them. I have a almost 4 year old (in July), an almost 2 year old (in August) and I am pregnant with our third- due in November- and I will be 37 in October. Oh and we have 2 boys and were somewhat hoping for a girl but just found out we are having another boy- but are truly very excited. My pregnancy has been smooth so far- a little more tired than the first 2 but having 2 toddlers will do that to you. Anyway- I say go for it.
J.

I am a 37 year old mom of 4, with my youngest child (and ONLY SON!!) being 8 months old. My last pregnancy was definitely followed much more closely by my OB; she, in fact chose to send me to a perinatologist for all my ultrasounds (I had many--what a great perk!) and also for genetic counseling. My husband and I were aware of the additional risks, but knew that termination was out of the question for us no matter what defects may have been found. We also chose to opt out of the amniocentesis for this same reason, the risks of the procedure were not worth it to us since any negative results would not have changed our minds about continuing the pregnancy. Overall, outside of being noticeably more tired than when I carried my girls in my 20's (which very well could have been due to being a PT working mom of 3 and not my age at all), it was a wonderful, non-complicated pregnancy. I was much more relaxed, mature and "in touch"--knowing for sure that it was to be my last baby. I did deliver my son via C-section (my girls were all vaginal births), but only because he was significantly larger (9 LBS, 3, OZ, 21 IN) than his sisters.
I will say this.... please be sure that you and your husband are completely OK will the possibility of a 3rd little boy...we certainly had to be sure we were OK with the idea of a 4th little girl-my husband wanted a son so much and I did not want there to be any disappointment!! YOu should've seen our faces whe the sonographer said it was a BOY---a cross between utter shock and sheer joy!!! Above all, enjoy the journey...there is no greater blessing than the miracle of a child--something you undoubtedly know already looking into the faces of your sons!! Good Luck!

You are still at a perfect age for another baby... And maybe consider adopting, i know its not for everyone, but there are babies needing homes... If not, thats fine. I'd say go for it.. Your still ready and young for another.

Age should never be an option, health is. If you are healthy you are young enough.
If you are a believer!! Please read on.
And for having a girl, God says to ask anything in Jesus name and you shall receive. I did this when we were trying for our second. Not going into great detail but "before" not during or after, pray in Jesus name for a healthy girl. You can even go into more detail if you want. I prayed for a boy with O positive blood. husband was A and I am an O. Daughter was A and was very sick when I was pregnant, that is why I wanted O positive. That is exactly what we got. The main thing you have to do is believe and give thanks.

Since I had my second child just after my 40th birthday, and my third when I was 42, I think that you're just a baby of 35. Yes, I was more tired with them, but then I knew more of what to do than when I was in my 20s. I had amnios with both, which were reassuring. Both of these kids are now in college, by the way. They were 16 1/2 months apart, which was tiring. So go for it if that is what you both want. I also have several friends who had 2 boys then adopted a girl.

Oh A., you are fine. I am 34 years old and just had our son. A physician is primarily concerned w/ women over 45 y/o and prior history of complications. IE hypertension, diabetes, heart problems etc.... If you have a clear past history you should be fine. Even w/ some of the above ailments women much older than us have had healthy babies. If your OB says it's a go....then you and your hubby think pink while you have fun trying!

You can have children after the age of 35. There is a greater risk of a child being born with Downs Syndrome and other birth defects. There is a blood test that they give for woman over the age of 35 that can tell if the baby had Downs. But if you are in good health, there should be no reason to be too concerned. The best advise is to talk with your Dr. about your health and any concerns and they will give their best advise for your situation.
Best of luck!

I just read about a lady age 60 who just gave birth to twins. She is the oldest mother of twins in the U,S. Article said that a woman somewhere else gave birth last Dec. to twins at age 67. These were en vitro fertilizations, but still ....

I would say it depends on your current health and how your last pregnancies were. If all is healthy, then go for it! I have several, several (I can count 6 right now off the top of my head.) friends that have had healthy pregnancies and healthy babies older than you are, older than 40. For one, they were her 1st children at 40, she did it twice. The others, it was their last child. Older than 40! Understand the risks, accept what comes - and go for it!

It certainly is not out of the ordinary these days to have children all the way through your thirties (and into your forties), and anyway who cares what anyone thinks about your age during pregnancy? If your question is more about what else to consider I can offer from my experience. I had my first daughter at 31, second just before turning 35 and third at 39. All were planned and rather uneventful pregnancies. I felt more tired with each, and each pregnancy felt like it lasted longer than the last. Looking back I suspect that as a full-time working mom the added fatigue was more due to the added demands on my time with each child than to advancing age! Although I read a lot and was well informed of the exact risk at each age of downs syndrome I never worried and trusted each child would be a blessing. My daughters now are 7, 12 and 15 and unfortunately last year I became a single parent. At 46 and doing it all on my own now I worry that I do not have as much patience as I would if I were younger, and that my youngest does not have the same mommy at 7 as my oldest did. I have to remind myself all of the time that she is only 7, and 7 year olds whine, etc. But again, is the loss of patience more due to my age or is it due to my changing expectations as my older daughters want and exercise the independence that comes with their advancing age? On the other hand, wisdom comes with years and I think I am making a lot better decisions in the early childhood of my youngest than perhaps with my oldest. I guess my point is, there is more to consider than just the effect right now - who and how will you be at each stage of their lives. I have to admit it gave me quite a start to realize during my last pregnancy that when she graduates from high school I will be the same age my dad was when he retired, and 7 years older than my mom was when she retired, but I would not change any of it. I think I am a wiser and much calmer mother than I would have been if I had started 10 years earlier. And going inline skating and riding a scooter all over the neighborhood with my kids keeps me feeling younger than I would if at this age I was instead visiting my grandchildren, as many of my peers are! I say go for it, and when you are ready. My 7 year old was that "one last try" for a boy and I am thrilled she is my third little girl. There is nothing like the bond of sisterhood (or brotherhood).

I am 34 and I would like to get pregnant next summer. I also want a girl since I have two boys. Your kids are still very young so in my opinion anytime before 40 is okay. If you would like to have a girl try to get pregnant in July - it is not 100 % sure but there are big chances to have an April girl. DO NOT get pregnant in February, big chances you will have a November boy.

Go for it! I'm 35 and I'm in the process of shedding unwanted pounds before trying for baby #4. Hoping for that girl, too. I have PCOS which causes infertility issues, but I just spent the last six weeks working with my fertility doctor to plan out the course. If you have health concerns see your OB/GYN and ask them to run a full blood panel on you. If you haven't already been tested to see if you're a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis, then they can test your blood for that, too. Many things can be ruled out with the blood tests. And it will give you the peace of mind to make your decision.

Best wishes!
~S.

A. -

My mother had me at 42, my husband's mother did the same. My best friend just had a baby at 42 as well - she had her 1st at 38, so you have plenty of time!

I had my 3rd when I was 36. I think that if you are in good health and physical condition and did not have any risks or problems with your other 2 pregnancies, then you should not have any problems having another baby. The longer you wait (years), though the risks do go up. I don't think I would try after 40 because you have to keep in mind too how old you would be when your child gets into high school. You don't want to be the age of most of his/her friend's grandparents. Your doctor knows you best, so I would ask your doctor too.

I had my first perfectly healthy baby at 39 and I am about to try for number 2 at 41.

I am 38 years old and my only child is 18 months. I plan on having another. I got pregnant at 35. Don't get freaked out about all the "advance maternal" age talk. I was living in CA and everyone there waits till there older.

Good luck.

I asked my OBGYN the same question, I was 37 at the time. She told me it would be best by age 38 or so. That does not mean I shouldn't get pregnant later, it was just the optimal timeframe, considering that risks increase as women age.

In France, they dont even consider a woman at higher risk until age 38, in the US it's 35.

I hope it helps.

A.

These days there are many women aged 35 who are having their FIRST babies! 35 is not that old at all. If you want a daughter, go for it! (I have a friend who had FIVE boys and then finally had a girl--I think she was in her early forties when she had her.)

Best wishes.

Wow the medical community has really distorted our thinking. There is really no evidence that the older you get the more "dangerous" it is to have a baby. If that were true your body would stop being fertile before it got dangerous. Otherwise, our species would have a hard time procreating. Anyway, they get those statics from studies that don't prove anything. It's kind of like saying "Global warming is caused because of the decline of pirates in the world" because the decline of pirates just happens to coincided with the planet warming up. Hhhmmm.... Sounds pretty ridiculous to me.
My mother had babies in to her 40's. I know some woman who are having babies still and they're in their fifties. Don't be afraid. If you're body doesn't want you to be pregnant, you won't get pregnant. Have a baby if it's what makes you happy. Either way, don't govern your life with fear. Enjoy it.

Hi A.,

I had my first at 27, but wish I had started earlier. My cousin had her first at 35 and is considering a THIRD!! My OB/GYN is well over 35 (I think) and is having her third too. Everyone is different, and as long you are being monitored by a mindful doctor, it's definitely not unreasonable. If you have the energy for it, and would still try even if you knew ahead of time that it would be a 3rd boy, I would go for it.

A.

I am a mother of three. Two boys, ages 15 & 12 and a little girl, 17 months. I was 1.5 months shy of being 37 when i had my daughter. But like you my husband and i decided we wanted to try for a little girl. (people told us we were crazy for starting all over) the boys were already 14 & 11. God blessed us with a beautiful little "princess". I too was a little concerned about the age but it was my easiest pregnacy out of all of them. I had no complications at all. And my boys absolutely love and adore their sister. I know every woman and every pregnacy is different but if you really want this i would go for it. Good luck. I hope this helps.

I had my three at 32,34, and 36. My girlfriend is 42 and just had a beautiful, healthy little girl. I do remember that I was so paranoid about having a downs syndrome baby because of my age. The fact of the matter is that statistics are really skewed. For example if a stat says that .1% of the population is at risk, then when the number goes up to .2% the risk doubles. However .2 percent is still really low...just keep that in mind. The only thing I have to say is that the longer you wait, the more tired you get, lets face it, making children is a lot of work for your body. The better shape you are in when you get pregnant, the easier it should be...there is a direct correlation between c-sections and overweight Moms. I would actually consider getting pregnant sooner than later, because the two younger ones will have each other as playmates while the one is in school...that has been a huge blessing for me...they play together and generally stay out of trouble. Good luck.

A.,
I had my last one at 36 and my sister had her first one at 40 so age isn't always an issue. My advise is to talk to your Dr. and see what he/she says. Sometimes your Dr. will advise not to have one after 35 due to a stronger risk to you and the baby but if you are healthy and haven't had any problems in the past pgs then there shouldn't be any problems. But by all means if you want another child your Dr. is the place to ask the questions. Good luck.
T

I was 36 when I gave birth to my daughter. My husband and I are trying for number two. If that happens, I'll be 38. A dear friend of mine had two kids, at 41 and 44.
Many women are having babies later in life. Educate yourself to the possible risks. Personally, I think that are some risks to any pregnancy, 18 or 42.
Another thought is to figure out how old you will be when this child is older. My husband will be in his 60's when our daughter is in high school. That is just another thing to consider.
Good luck to you in whatever you decide,
Margaret

EDIT: The name of the method that Kelly is talking about is called The Shettles method. WebMd has all the info on their web-site. (good point, Kelly!!)

I had my daughter at 43 and am a better person for it! If I had given birth 5 years earlier, I know I would have been one of those moms who didn't really enjoy their children and was worried about keeping things clean and work and money and all of those other essential things to live that seem to take away from enoying our little godlings ... My daughter is the light of my life and I can't imagine my life without her anymore. Lucky me.

So, about being an older mother ... As long as you are fit and healthy (regular exercise and good blood pressure and low sugar), you will probably be able to have a relatively easy pregnancy, not withstanding other unknown/unsaid factors. I was quite fit, didn't gain a lot of weight and traveled up to my 7th month - although at that point, getting out of bed became a new experience as can be for all pregnant women in the heat of the summer. One of two important issues of being an older parent is that, as a mother over the age of 35, your chances of having a baby with abnormal chromosomes/birth defects increases substantially ... BUT you can have chronic villus sampling at 9-10 weeks and amniocentisis testing at 16 weeks to detect and abnormalities, if you wish to learn of any. Also, your children will have less time with you on this earth. But, since you already have other kids, this shouldn't be as much of a factor (i.e., they won't be left as an only child to care for aging parents, alone, without support in their young adulthood). It was easy at 43 and I would think that being fit and doing it at 40 or 38 or 35 would be a snap. It does take a bit longer to tone back up but you just do what it takes - before (keagle, keagle) and after (keagle, keagle).

Good luck!

I am 30 and thinking of having my first within the next five years too. I wanted to let you know that I have several Interior Designer clients that waited until after they wer 40 to have a baby. One of my clients is 42 and just had her first, she had no problems and couldn't be happier she waited. I think as long as you are in good health and your doctor gives you the OK you should go for it.

I am not a health care professional but I say that if you are under 40 and still have the momma bug...go for it! Chat with your docotr first to make sure they can get you on a good plan so that you are at less risk. I wouldn't wait too long though under 35 they say is best.

I am 41 + and thinking of trying again. My BFF has a 7 month old and she is 43+. I wish I has been 35 having a baby. At 35, I was fertile and ripe. At 39 it was hard work. I say go for it if the eggs are good and fertile. Afterall 35 is the new 25.

If you are healthy and the other pregnancies were easy - no problem. I had my first at 36, 2nd was two months before I turned 40 and my third was when I was 42....I'm 52 now and hang w/ lots of 4oish people because they have kids my age. It gives me a younger perspective and I totally feel age is not an issue. Actually I am probably in better shape now than my 40s. And for some reason you are more likely to have girls with that AMA. (Advanced Maternal Age!) I had amnios with all three so I knew what I was getting into-and truthfully it took me 3 years to get pregnant w/ the first, a miscarriage and a year to get pregnant w/ the second- the third one we just thought about sex and Boom! I was pregnant. Go try...

You are not too old! I had my first 2 days before I turned 37, my second when I was 38, and am now 40 and due with my 3rd in Novemeber. If you are healthy, there should be no problems. I also have many friends who have had their first in their 40's - all are very healthy & happy babies!

Just look at all the older , and I use that term loosely, celebrities having children over 35 - if you are in good health, get good prenatal care, can afford another child, go for it!

Well i have been a nurse for 25+ years. & if you have a good man, please go for it. They are deliverying healthy babies all way thru mid 40's. & that is no health problems with mommy too. Unless you have health problems, i say go for it. I would not take anything for my daughter, she is 39 now, & just as joyous today as she was 39 years ago.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!but i love my son too but that girl is always (usually) turns out to b e daddy's little girl.

A.-

You are still young, I had my second child at the age of 39. We have 2 wonderful boys and like you, I would like that girl too. I had always said that if I was still healthy, that we could try again, but when I delivered my second son(both by c-sections), the previous incision on my uterus was already opened, so we were advised to not have anymore children. My first son was breech.

I am 37 years old and am working on number 2. Our 2nd daughter will be born this Sept. My 2.5 year old daughter is pledging to be my little helper and she can't wait to see her little sister. She constantly talks and hugs my belly. It's endearing and we are so glad that we made the decision to have another despite my age.
I think you have plenty of time left. If you can still conceive, you should have another! I would at least wait until your 18m old could walk though, just to make it easier on you. Plus, if your husband helps out, than you've got it made! I would do it and have fun trying!

Hi, I just wanted to tell you that my husbands mother was 38 when she had him and , hold on to your hats his father was 61, Yes, 61 and my husbands doesn't say anything negative about him being old at all. His Mom is still alive (83) and his dad is desceased, He would be like 105 now, Crazy isn't it? And they had 1 more after him. M. E. P.S. I had my only child at 34.

I am also 35 with 2 beautiful boys and actively trying to get pregnant. Hope to be blessed with a girl and after that may be trying for a fourth. So go for it and good luck

I didn't get married until I was 26. I had my firstborn at 31 and my second one at 36. When I mentioned that I thought I was getting almost too old to have a baby, by OB told me that I was by no means setting any records. So I'd say you are fine as well, even if you wait a year or so.

Hi A.,

I heard rumors about 40 being too old, but I feel if you really want a baby, and you feel your body can do it...go with how you feel. I thought I was going to have 5+ kids...because I love kids. After my third, I knew I did not want to give birth again. However, I have been thinking about adopting. That could be another option for you, if you have strong worries about age, and health. I wish you the best of luck in your decision.
As for working...have you thought about at home Companies like LiveOps??
Again goodluck. It will all work out for you.
L.

A.,
I had my daughter at age 34 and my son at age 37 and we are all live and well.

C.

I've got a friend who turned 48 last April and delivered a VERY healthy, beautiful girl in July. As long as YOU are very healthy, there's no reason why you can't. Just make sure you're taking folic acid and great vitamins before you do!!

Hey there,

Nothing wrong with wanting a little girl! I wanted one soooo bad and finally got one! She is wonderful and precious and the sweetest little thing. So go ahead and try. By the way, I'm turning 40 this year and am considering going for #3. Talk to your doctor but my understanding is that if you have given birth to 2 healthy babies, you are much more likely to have another healthy baby, even at an older age. One more thing, to get a daughter, we actually used a book called, "How to Choose the Sex of your Baby". It's a quick read and there is a lot of science involved. Worked for us but I guess it had a 50% chance of working, didn't it?? : ) Good luck!!

I think the state of your health is more important than your actual age. If you take care of yourself, your real age is less than your calendar age. I am 32, have two boys and am pregnant with boy #3! I just had an ultrasound and all of his fingers/toes are there and the organs are functioning great. My neighbor just had a beautiful baby and she is turning 37 in a couple of months. I would say listen to your instincts, if your body is telling that it is ready, then everything will work out.

I didn't even start having children until I was 35. Now I have 3 and my last one was born when I was 43. I wanted to until I was ready to settle down and was more financially secure before I started having kids. I didn't have any problems with the pregnancies or deliveries and I wouldn't change a thing. I work full time too and I would rather be home with my sweet angels.

It looks t me as if you answered your own question--and as a woman go with "your" own feelings. You said "I also don't think I am ready". Love the blessings God gave you and if there be more you will know if and when the time is right. FYI--My good friend just had her 6th and she is 40--this was not a walk in the park.

Pray for wisdom and rejoice.--K.

I don't think there is an age limit. So many people are waiting to have children now, it is fine to have one into your 40's. My aunt tried to have a child for years and tried every treatment out there. Nothing worked until she was 38 and she had one child. Then out of the blue, at 40 years of age she found out she was pregnant again (without treatments) and she ended up with triplets! All of them are healthy and happy.

The only way to make sure you get that little girl is to adopt one.

I had my first baby at 38 and am now pregnant with my second at 40. I think "too old" is really up to you and how you feel. If you have the energy for a baby, then go for it (unless your doctor sees a reason that you shouldn't, of course). This is really a personal decision that no one else can make for you. Be prepared to have another boy, though! You never know....

I have a friend who is 40 and she has a 4 month old. My Aunt was 42 when she had her last one. I guess it's a personal preference. Best of luck in deciding!

Hi A.,

I just had to respond to your request. I am 40 (almost 41)and I am expecting baby #3 in November. My husband and I have two very active daughters, the oldest is 7 and my youngest is 3. Plus, we just got a new puppy a few weeks ago so my household has gotten even busier. This pregnancy wasn't planned but it wasn't fully prevented either. A part of me wasn't ready to stop having kids after two...I have kept all the baby items - crib, toys, clothes, etc. When I found out that I was pregnant, I did think to myself, "I am 40...do I have the energy for a new baby, etc., etc.,". However, I quickly cleared my mind of all these questioning thoughts and replaced it with "How wonderful! This is another blessing from God and I should be delighted to carry another child.". Even though I am 40, I feel much younger since I take care of myself physically, mentally, and spiritually. My husband and I never found out the sex of our children...we always kept that a surprise until they were born. Part of me leans towards a girl just because I have so many girls clothes. However, it doesn't really matter whether the baby is a girl or boy. The most important thing is that the baby is healthy and everything is in its place. If the baby is a boy, I have so many friends who offered to give me their baby boy clothes since they are done having more babies. So, I am going to be covered either way. On top of all this, since I am considered "advanced maternal", I am eligible for more ultrasounds at the doctor's office. :>)

A little bit about me... my husband and I have been married for 12 years and we own/operate a business together so we work side by side every day in our home office. And, we are still married. :>) I used to work in the corporate world a long time ago before being laid off. At this point in my life, I wouldn't change my work situation. I have the best of many worlds.

My advice to you is if you really hate your job, I suggest looking for something else that you would love to do while you still have your current job. There is no reason to "settle" on something that you have no desire to do each day. This is not a good way to go thru' life. Don't settle on a job because of the money. Money definitely doesn't equate to happiness and this is one of the biggest myths that the majority of America believes. I can go on and on but I think this is worth being a topic on its own.

I truly believe that all things happen for a reason. Don't stress too much over this and let go...just let things flow like a river...no worries, no control.

Hope this helps. Have a great day!

K.

I think that pushing closer to 40 is when all those health risks come into play for you and the baby. I'm sure that you could look it up on line, or ask your dr. I give you credit for wanting another as you get older, just remember you will be at retirement age before the last one leaves the nest. I had only one child, (when I was 25). Now that I am getting older (48)I really wish that I had 2-3 kids. They are a blessing when they are older and you The parents) are in your old age! LOL! I had a boy and I worry that when he gets married and settles down, my grandchildren will be going to "her" parents house not to my house! that they will all live near "Her" parents not near me. wish I had a girl as well. there is an old saying ..."A son is a son till he takes a wife, but a daughter is a daughter the rest of her life". I just talked you into having that little girl didn't I??? LOL! best of luck to you.

You not too old. I was 36 when I had my 3rd child. All though I would not do it again. You do not have the same energy level as when you are younger. Like running beside the bicycle while teaching them ride, we had no problem when I was 20 yrs old. Also, look how old you will be when they start college (the age of grandparents). And it is hard to save for retirement (kids are expensive).
Nobody should have a child just to try and get a boy or girl, how does that make your other children feel. I have heard many times from children, my father wished I'd been a boy and it goes both ways. Kids do hear what you are saying, so do not talk about this around the kids, because they will not let you know their true feelings on the subject. It will come out in adult life, but to their friends, still not their parents.
Now, if you just wanted another child, go after it, but not to get a girl.

I am about to turn 35, and am trying to get pregnant again. I have a wonderful 4 year old, and as an only child myself, never thought I would have one. Talk to your OB/Gyn at your next annual exam, or make an appointment if you aren't due for one for awhile to discuss it. I have even been to see a perinatal specialist for a pre-pregnancy consult because I have had 3 miscarriages. The specialist said age really isn't a factor, not to worry about that. Your regular doctor that has delivered your kids and seen you during your pregnancies would have a pretty good idea how safe it would be for you.

Hi A.,

That is a good question. I wish I had asked that one before I got pregnant at 44 years old, and again by surprise at 45 years old. 44 years old is too old. I love my kids so much but it is so exhausting. When I am tired I still have to keep going. I keep dying my hair so people don't keep asking me if the kids are my grandchildren, and they do! My mother had here last child at 36years old. She was a fantastic lady, and a tireless mother.
Good luck with your decision.

W.
.

I think when older women think about having babies they need to evaluate how "young" they are. Some 35 year olds are "younger" in thought and body than others. If you feel you are up to it (and will be up to it for the next 18 years)... then go for it!!

Having said that, I'll share my closest experience.
My parents were very young when they had me and my older sister, but older with my two younger sisters. (8 years and 16 years younger). With my sister 8 years younger, they still had lots of steam (they were 31 and 34 when she was born)... but with my 11 year old sister... they want to be done. So I think there is usually a cut off... early 40's. It could be though that they are done because she's the 4th.

Hi A.,
I'm 41 with a 2year old and a 6 year old - I think I am a better mom because my husband and I are older. We had genetic counseling to determine the risks were were taking and we went for it.
Good luck -
T. S.

I had my last daughter at 38. She is now 12 (do the math)LOL I had some problems with the pregnancy but that was not due to my age! I am glad I did not listen to others because I have fun with her now. I do feel some minor old age pains and get tired of people saying I have my granddaughter! Anyway, go with what you feel but be prepared for all kinds of remarks!!

My sis-in-law had her third child in Jan and she is 36. She has two other children 10 & 13. She said that it was a little harder on her body, more aches in her hips and legs than with the other two but the baby is very healthy.

I think older moms make great moms [that's the category I'm in :) ] I had my first at 38. There's always risks in life so as long as your pretty good healthwise I say go for it!!!!

I'm 39 and pregnant with our second child. Everyone has been great about it. My doctor however reinterates that I'm old, so to speak. However, he hasn't indicated I'm too old. He also pointed out that the numbers are greater for down's because you have less of a pool of older pregnant women to take the numbers from and, therefore, it appears that more older women have down's babies. He said he has delivered three down's babies and they were all from younger women. I've opt out of the testing for it. My children are gifts from God and He's never done a poor job.

Everything is on track for a healthy baby. My first is only two and a very, very healthy child.

I always look at Abraham and Sarah in the bible. Sarah was 90 whenever she and Abraham birthed a nation.

I turned it all over to God and told Him whatever His will is, I'll be content with. We didn't have to do infertility treatments or anything. If it would have required that, I wouldn't have gone for it. I would just mainly focus on diet and exercise and keeping your body healthy.

Good luck!!

I had my first baby at 32, and my second baby was born when I was 34. I just found out that I am pregnant again. This 3rd baby will be born by the time I've turned 37. With my first two, I did not have any complications. I am hoping that this 3rd pregnancy has no complications. I am in a similar situation as you are, just in reverse. We have 2 beautiful, full of life, little girls. My husband is wanting a baby boy. This is our last try. The girls are also wanting a baby brother, and they even have already named him! I told my older daughter that we'd have to see what God gives us, and she said "I think God is giving us a baby boy." LOL. I absolutely love her faith and eagerness, and I am really hoping she's right. I think it should be fairly healthy to have a baby, before you turn 40. It's still not too bad after 40. Just remember how old you'll be by the time he or she is out of high school. 18 months is a good starting distance between 2 babies. I've read that having a baby less than 18 months from the last one could create complications with the uterus handling the stress of the next baby. That's one reason we waited until our youngest daughter turned 2 to try for this third baby. Also, think about how old your youngest one will be when the baby is born. I think my older daughter might have had potty training issues because she was seeing the baby get so much attention when her diaper was being changed. I'm wondering if she would have been potty trained sooner had we waited a little longer for our second child. My sister in law had her younger son at 37, and she and her little one are both still doing fine. He turned 3 this past month.
As far as trying for a different sex, this is what we tried for baby number 3. I'll have to tell you later if this was succesful or not...
My step sister seems to swear up and down that douching with baking soda changes the environment to be more hospitable for boy sperm. In reverse, a vinegar-based douche is supposed to help the environment to cater toward giving girl sperm more chances to fertilize an egg.
For a boy, we tried to conceive after we were pretty sure there was an egg available to fertilize first. I've read that boy sperm tend to be more high energy. They're supposed to be like the "sprinters" in track and field.
For a girl, it's better to try to conceive a little before possible ovulation. The boy sperm tend to "get tired", and the girl sperm have more endurance. I've read that they're more like the "marathon or long distance runners".
I've also read a lot about diet. If I were you, I'd research this more, but if I'm not mistaken it goes something like this:
Eat more fruits and vegetables, and sweeter tasting things for a girl.
Eat more salty and high protien items for a boy.
I hope this helps. I really hope it helped us conceive a boy in the long run. LOL! I just still am in awe about how different each child can be, even if they're both girls or both boys. God has a way of surprising us, and also giving us joy that we never expected.
Good luck!

I think if you want another child you should do it, we have friends who have had several while in their 40's so you have plenty of time!

you are never too old as long as you feel up to the task and can still have them.

At 35 there is a higher risk of birth defects, but lets be honest...women are having healthy children well into their 40s and some even in their 50s and 60s. My feeling is this, if you have the time, energy, finances and support to raise a child at any age, more power to you!

Older pregnant moms are great. I was 33 when I gave birth to twins...Yes, there are more risks involved with pregnancies at an older age...but they are worth it in the end.

more and more women are waiting to have children at an older age..some having their first in their late 30s and early 40s some having their last in this time frame...Make sure you have a good OBGYN that specializes in high risk pregnancies and pregnancies in older women and you should do fine.

I will say, I tend to have small children and with twins that tendency runs higher...my doctor put me on a high protein diet to increase the babies' birthweight. My twins were born 2 months early but at 4.4 and 4.9 lbs...which surprised the entire NICU for how early they were. Their weight played a huge role in helping them come home in only two weeks...

You might ask your doctor about a high protein diet to make sure your child has a higher chance of better birth weight and better overall health...

Good Luck.. ;-)

You're not too old by far. I say go for it!! To answer your question, what's too old? I think it's subjective. In my personal opinion, I think if your old enough that you have a good chance of dying before or when your child graduates high school, you might reconsider. Like the 60 year old that just gave birth to twins. Come on =) Any thing's possible though. She might live to be 100, but the thought of dying while my kids are still kids is horrifying. Maybe she married a 40 year old and her husband will take care of them. I still think a mom in diapers and a kid in diapers is a bit too much for me.

While some people can be harsh in their opinions (Jennifer Z), I for one think the more the merrier! You shouldn't worry too much since you have already had two healthy babies, complications usually arise in older woman having their first one. Good luck to you.

YOU ARE IN NO WAY "TOO OLD" TO HAVE A BABY!!!!!! Alot of women your age haven't even started their families yet. My parents, and alot of their friends continued to have babies into their mid to late 40's. If a woman wasn't supposed to get pregnant at an "older age" (you are not in this category) then she wouldn't be able to concieve.

You and your husband do what is right for your family, and don't worry so much about "the right age" to have a baby! Your body knows what it can handle! :) Also, I don't know if you're religious, but in the Bible Sarah and Abraham didn't have their son until she was in her 90's and he was 100!!!! If that can happen, then you shouldn't be too worried about having a baby at 35! ;) I hope this helps you! Good luck, and God Bless!!!!

35 is NOT too old to have a baby. I had twins last year at 43, not totally unplanned but twins were definitely NOT planned LOL

Check with your doctor to make sure you are in good health and ensure you are taking vitamins, eating properly and exercising. you should be absolutely fine.

More and more women are opting for that career first before they have their families and many are in their late 30's or early 40's before they even start.

Women who are a bit older tend to be a bit more settled in their ways and in my personal opinion are a little more emotionally and financially established to raise a baby. When most people start their family in their early 20's, they people are not settled with a home, routines, solid job, and emotionally settled relationship just yet.

Good luck to you!

Deb

I would suggest you speak with an ob/gyn and perinatalogist to determine if and when you should have another child. There are going to be health risks the longer you wait, but they can determine if you are of higher risk or not. I don't see why there would be a problem with you having a child within the next couple of years though, since everyone is having their children between the ages of 30 and 45 now anyway. Its just a matter of preference, ability, safety and precaution, responsibility, and discussing it with your husband and doctor(s).

Good luck :)

I'm with the last responder. As long as you're healthy and you want a baby, it should be up to you. It may or may not work, but there is a Chinese gender chart that might be fun to try to use to see when is more favorable to try for a girl or a boy. :-) P.S. It was actually right about my son.

http://parenting.ivillage.com/ttc/ttcsigns/0,,j736,00.html

I think in this day and age, there isn't really a "too old" point to have a baby. There has been so many medical advances that has allowed more "older" woman to successfully conceive and have a baby. Obviously, risk still go up as you get older, so I wouldn't push that envelope so much. The risk of multiples increases with maternal age as well. If you would like to have a girl,I would strongly recommend you view the Chinese pregnancy calendar first. It worked for all my three children. Good Luck!

A.,
there are plenty of moms who dont even start their familys till your age,but your DR is the best person to answer your question ,,and then there are all the test they can run on the baby to make sure its ok
good luck L.

As long as your healthy and still fertile there is no reason you can't try into your 40's so go for it!! Just be prepared for the scary stuff.

I'll turn 38 a month after my son is born. As much as I would like to give him another sibling, however, I'm opting out b/c the stress of all the "potentials" like downs syndrome, etc. isn't worth it.

My pregnancy has been easy but stressful b/c at every turn there is some test they have to run b/c of my age and some other birth defect to be scared about him ending up with. Luckily, our son is healthy, so I'm going to count my blessings and not tempt fate again!

don't ya know that 35 is the new 25?? There are women having babies in thier 40s now. Have another baby in the next couple of years , I think you will be fine. Ask your obgyn if you have concerns. God bless and hope it is a girl!!

35 isn't too old to give birth to children, you're just in a different class now! I had my first child at 35 and I was considered "advanced maternal age"- talk about feeling old! What this means is there is an increased chance for hereditary diseases and they will push for genetic counseling and screening. We did both and have a healthy 10 month old boy. We for sure knew it was a boy because of the amniocentesis (sp?) but we also knew he was healthy by week 17, no wondering. We took the tests because we wanted to prepare for the worst but hope for the best....as I do for you now. Good Luck and if you decide not to have a child, have fun practicing!

I think having a baby later on in life is great. I am a young mom and I started early If I knew back then all that I know now I would have waited longer. I wish you the best of luck in getting your little girl or boy:)

Hey girlfriend, I had my first child a boy @37 and my second child a ____@____.com make sure you have a good Doctor. Good Luck!!!!!

Too old is when you "feel" too old. I'm pushing 30, I just had my second 3 weeks ago and I too HATE my job, but gotta make that money. I feel too old sometimes. This pregnancy was harder on my body,my oldest is 2. My job is more strenous mentally, but it is still physical. But it is how you feel that is important, not how others see you.

If it makes your feel better, I didn't START until I was 35 years old. I'm now 40 with three adorable perfectly healthy children ages 5,3 and 2. If you are healthy, then there is no reason you can't go on to have another healthy child. By the way, there is a book that gives you things to do in order to determine the sex of your baby...I can't remember the name right now. It may sound silly, but my husband and I tried it for our third, and it worked...I did for some of my friends as well. It was fun to try whether it worked out or not. Good luck to you!

Well, I tried for eleven years had my first at age 34 and second at 35. Two of my friends just had a fourth child and one is 42 and the other 43. Hope this helps.

I am 39 and had my first at 38. My daughter is perfect and very healthy. Since this was my first I didn't have any past pregnancies to compare it to but comparing myself to my younger friends that are mommies I think it took my body a little longer to bounce back after having a baby. However, I would say, GO FOR IT!!!!! I'm right now trying for baby #2!!!!
p.s. My cousin had a boy and a girl (Ages 8 and 6) and was turing 40 and feeling like you...wanting one more baby. She did it and has a beautiful, healthy little boy. Mom's are getting older all the time.

My mother had my brother when she was 40,,and that was when NO ONE was having children at THAT AGE.... He was 20 years younger than me... with three others in between.... and he kept my parents younger than they would have been otherwise... since Dad retired from the military when he was just a few months old...

If your health is good.. and your doctors approve...go for it.. don't spend your life regretting not having number three... My third was my big surprise and the most wonderful son ever... had two daughters and then our big unplanned surprise... that we thank the Lord for every day.... as well as our daughters....and they have all been blessed with wonderful spouses.....

Good luck.

I had my first child 2 weeks before my 38th birthday, and my 2nd child 2 weeks before my 40th birthday. I have two gorgeous and perfect girls right now. The risks increase, but as long as you are healthy and in good condition it seems silly to me to start worrying at 35. Please! My doctor said they needed to draw a line somewhere to start calling it high risk, so they say 35, but every person is different. Good luck
K.

Hi A., think about the future before going ahead with your decision to have another baby.I personally vowed not to have a baby after 30 but I have 4 kids before 30 (i got an early start at 19)spacing mine about every 3 yrs. The reason being that I watched my mom trying to raise a young child at the age of 38 when she had my youngest brother & my stepdad was 42.My brother is now 43 my parents had hell trying to put him through college on their retirement, plus he is so spoiled (since he was the product of an old couple)that he is embarrest that his mom is old(dad now deseaced) that he rarely even visits her and he lives in the same town.They did everything for him as did all of his older siblings, he would rarely bring friends home as a young teen because his friends all had younger parents. He is a great dad to his own kids but my mom hasn't seen her grandchildren since they were 2,6,8...they are now 12,16,18.My brother was raised in a loving family..so its not the way he was raised that made him this way.I truely believe its because he is the product of older parents!

I had my 3rd *surprise* baby at 39, almost 40. I have to say it was a lot harder being pregnant than with the other 2 (at 29-31) I was more tired and achy and my body is having a harder time re-adjusting post-partum... but overall, it has been a blessing :)

35 is not old, by the way!
Go for it!

35 is still young. I'll be 31 this summer and I'm currently expecting. You still have time to conceive. Your OB will keep a watch on you for AMA - advanced maternal age. But you can still give birth to a happy and healthy baby. I know a few girlfriends who are near 40 and pregnant. So far their pregnancy has been healthy.

Wish you the best of luck.

I had my first baby at 36 and am now pregnant with number two (due first wk of Oct) and a month from 40. How old you are numerically has NOTHING to do with you physically or mentally. As with anything there are pros and cons. Have a physical and see what your doctor thinks. If it's something your husband and you agree upon and the grace of God is on your side, I say go for it. Good luck!

Try www.babyman.com which I believe will redirect you but you type in the month you conceive and how old you will be when you have the baby and it tells you if it's a boy or girl. Just make up month to see when a good month is for a girl. Don't forget to change your age if needed.

Sorry for the delayed response. Educate yourself about the risks and discuss with your ob/gyn. Had my first when I was 41. Had a great, healthy pregnancy and loved every minute of it. Gained only 28 lbs and had a 8lb 8oz daughter via csection. (Was in labor for 10 hrs and she just wasn't comin' out the normal way LOL). Now pregnant with #2 which will be born when I'm 43.

I got married late and we both wanted children. We were very lucky and very blessed. I had my first child at 45. I had fabulous doctors who never threw it in my face that I was 'advanced maternal age'. My three year old son was born healthy, and I had no problems with the pregnancy. I would love to have one more baby...but now I'm 48. I feel much younger and look much younger....but my husband is concerned about my health at this age. So I understand all your emotions. The most important thing is to talk to your Dr....and your husband.
By the way, my mom had me when she was 43...and that was in 1959. You can imagine what she went thru! She lived until 91 and was able to see my baby...her last grandchild.
Good Luck...and if you have religion in your life....pray.

I'm 36 and will be having a daughter in August or September. My doctor who I have used for my last 2 deliveries is using more tests now that I'm older. It's a little scary from my perspective just because of all the precautions. I think the sooner the better.

Girl according to my friends you are not to old until the doctors says. As long as you are in good health it should be okay. I have friends 38 and 43 having babies. SO ask your doctor.

I know LOTS AND LOTS of women who have children beyond your age (I'm quiverfull www.quiverfull.org) Only two of them have a child with Downs. I know two women who had a child with Downs in their twenties, so it doesn't seem to be any different by THOSE numbers. Sure, conceiving and birthing and doing the baby thing is harder the older you get but 35 really isn't old!

I wish you all the best.

SAHM to four girls and hope for four boys!

Hi! I didn't marry until right before I turned 34 and we were not planning to have a child right away, but I got pregnant at 35 and delivered a few months before my 37th birthday. I had a very easy pregnancy except for RLS (restless leg syndrome), had almost zero morning sickness and loved every minute of it. I had a good long labor, but in the end she just got stuck and had to be c-sectioned. I breastfed for 16 months! (Only planned 12, but, tragically, my husband died right before her first birthday, and I couldn't stop nursing right then) Anyway, I was constantly told I was in the high risk category. But my little gal is 3 now and wonderfully healthy. I'm so glad I have her. We had actually decided to try for #2 when I was 39. By the way, my obgyn was giving birth at the same time as me, to her first child as well. And she was 41.
On the same token, I also want to say that a friend of mine had her 2nd child around 35 and hers has slight Down's syndrome.
It really is between you and your husband and God. Pray for guidance and then do it! I wish you all the best.

I had my first two babies at 23 and 26. I'm 45 now and had my third blessing at 44. He's healthy, beyond brilliant, lol, and I can't imagine life without him. He was a total surprise and definitely my most challenging child, but I know I have much more patience now than when I was in my twenties. I had a difficult pregnancy, but then so was my first. The doctor told me there was absolutely no reason that I should have any problems that would be age related as far as the actual pregnany and I didn't. I had amnio for my own piece of mind, but differing results wouldn't have changed anything. He makes me feel young every day! Go with your heart or as in my case, whatever God has in store for you. By the way, all of my friends with babies his age are late thirties or over forty. :)

Hi A.,

If you want to have another baby, then I say Go For It! I have 4 beautiful children, and the last 2 were born after I was 35. The pregnancies weren't any different than the 2 that I had before 35, and the babies were very healthy!

I recommend taking Juice Plus before getting pregnant and during your pregnancy - it is the nutrition from 15 densly nutritious fruits and vegetables in a capsule! It has transformed my family - my energy level is great and we all have very strong immune systems now (rarely get even a sniffle)! You can learn more about it on the following website: www.Hearts4Health.com. There is even an opportunity to earn income through sharing the information about it with others - and helping them to improve their health at the same time! I am able to earn great money while working around my busy family's schedule and am loving it!!!

Good Luck with the pregnancy - I hope it's a girl this time!
J. Gebhart
###-###-####

I had my younger daughter when I was almost 38, and she was the healthiest baby in the hospital! I am almost 47 now and would love to have one more ... however I think our clock has run out - oh well. And while yes, there are risks, talk with your doctor and with your body.

I am so blessed to have my 9 yr old along with my 20 yr old.

Best of luck!

Go for it! I am 43, I have a 26 yr old son & a ONE year old daughter, as well as a 5 yr old grand daughter! These 3 kids are my life! As long as you are healthy & the doctor says ok, then go for it! I was the young, cool mom with my son, now I realize I will be the older Mom when my daughter starts school, etc.. but that's ok. Alot of women over 40 are having babies. You are plenty young enough. Just remember that the chances of having twins is greater in older women! They keep you young. I was active when I got pregnant with my daughter, played soccer, softball, kickboxing, etc. I am now getting back into those things. I don't feel my age. I feel great & she is keeping my going.
Good luck!

A little about myself, I am 55 yrs old and have three sons. My youngest son was born when I was 30 years old. I too wanted to have a daughter but have realized that having all sons is really special. As my sons got older the relationship changed and I became a special person in their life. Just recently one of my sons just got married to a wonderful girl whom I have developed a very close relationship with, and I have come to the conclusion that God wanted me to learn patience because I feel that I have that daughter now.

I know this is a little to late, but I felt that I had to tell you about my experience. I had my first baby at 39yrs old. All went well with no complications. He is a healthy baby boy and a perfect bundle of joy!! I was concerned about my age as well, but I just listened to my dr and prayed. Thank goodness everything turned out well, but I think that if it was meant to be, it is meant to be. God wouldn't give you anything that you cannot handle. I hope this helps!! Good luck with whatever you decide.

I don't think you can be TOO old.. celebrities lately have been having children over 40. However there are, as you said, risks. These risks increase with age... they vary from down syndrome, to increased chance of having twins.
Here is something short sweet and to the point to get you started on information regarding pregnancy over 30: http://www.musckids.com/health_library/hrpregnant/over30.htm
I suggest you do some reading if you're looking for facts regarding age and pregnancy. However if you as a person aren't ready yet you shouldn't force yourself into a pregnancy either.
Good luck with a little girl ;) I can understand your desire.. I'm hoping the next one I have will be a boy but I'm not planning getting pregnant anytime soon!

My vote is to have another baby if that is what you want. My sister got pregnant with her first baby at 40 when for years the drs said she'd never be able to. ON birth control pills, she got preg. She can't imagine her life without her son.
There is a method for choosing the sex of your baby and a Chinese calendar method. It was discussed on mamasource but I didn't file it because I didn't think I'd need it. I'm sure another mama could direct you. My friend had the baby girl she wanted by using the Chinese calendar.
Most importantly decide before you get preg that you will love the baby as much if it happens to be a boy. Well wishes!

Hi A.,

As I understand it, from 35 to 40 the risks for certain birth defects go up, but remain small, and at 40 they start to go WAY up. In my own mind, I think of 35-40 as a very ordinary, safe time to have a baby, and 40 on is certainly doable but starts to raise more issues about the health of the baby on one end and how long the parents can stay healthy on the other. I got pregnant when I was 39 and conceived a baby with fatal birth defects. I got pregnant again at 40 and gave birth to my beautiful, healthy daughter at 41. With 20/20 hind sight I wish we'd tried a bit earlier -- maybe it would have spared us a really harrowing ordeal, but pregnancy always entails risks, and the reality is that women have always been having babies into their forties -- they just used to already have had several of them before they hit forty! If you're interested, there's a book by Elizabeth Gregory called The New Late Motherhood that talks about the radical shift in our whole society toward women starting their families much later.

Hope this helps -- good luck!
M.

A., if your first two pregnancies went well, 35 is not too old. I had a baby at age 43. Moms who give birth after age 40 are, according to a study, 3 times more likely to live to be 100 - I think kids keep us young, and those who are able to have kids later in life must have bodies that are firing on all six cylinders. At that age, you are also more patient and better able to focus on your children.

There is an e-book about choosing your baby's gender. Google that term and you will find it. I read about it, and it sounded legit, although since I'm done with having kids I haven't tried it myself.

By the time you've gone through pregnancy, your youngest will be over 2 years old. I think 2-3 years is the ideal spread to space kids. Remember, too, it may take some time to get pregnant.

You say you're working full time and hate it. With two kids of daycare age, you would have to make some financial adjustments. It may not pay you to work outside the home until the kids are in school (actually, that may be the case now). Make sure you and your husband are on the same page about that, and that he is willing to assume extra responsibility with the kids and housekeeping.

I would start making the financial adjustments now before pregnancy. One thing you may want to consider is joining Sunrider International as an Independent Business Owner. Sunrider offers exclusive, world-call herbal foods that have helped many people recover their health, and they have a generous compensation plan. If you're interested in learning more, contact me at ____@____.com bless you!
-D.

Why do you care what complete strangers have to say about such a personal family decision? Personally, those who judge a responsible adult woman about being pregnant have nothing better to do.

In your description of yourself, you say "I work full time and hate every minute of it..." I'm assuming what you mean is that you hate having to work because you'd rather be at home mothering your children? So now you're considering the idea of having another child, with hopes of having a girl this time? I don't mean to sound harsh, but (IMO)the reason we have children is to allow the opportunity for another life to flourish, not to satisfy our own ego needs. If you truly want to devote yourself and your resources to the care and attention of bringing a new life into the world, my all means do so. If, however, you cannot really "afford" another child--financially, emotionally, practically--then focus your best effort on the children you already have and thank the universe for that opportunity. You're not "too old"--nature has assured your child-bearing capacity even beyond the age of 35--and the real question, it seems, is "are you too busy?" As you already know, it takes a lot of energy to be a great parent. Do you feel you have enough? That's the least we can offer for a third-born, right?