T.S.
L.,
We have two boys 2 1/2 and 6 months. I remember feeling the same way when I was pregnant with our second son. I work full-time and I kept freaking out about how I was going to get two off to daycare in the morning. I couldn't imagine it! Well, I do it every day with little issues. It's amazing how we adapt.
Bath time - When I first started, I would bathe Ryan in an infant tub in the kitchen sink and I would let my older son (Jacob) stand on a chair "help" me. He absolutely loved it. Ryan is pretty big (20 pounds at six months) and outgrew the infant tub pretty quickly. I transitioned him to a bath seat in the tub at about four months and within a week they were bathing together. They LOVE it. Ryan screams in delight at the splashing and playing in the tub. Jacob laughs at his little brother screaming. They enjoy bath time so much we do it every night.
Routine. Routine. Routine. Find one that works and stick with it. My 2 1/2 year old is so much happier with a routine and knowing what to expect. If we have problems with him for a day, it's usually because we skipped a nap or stayed out too late. We try so hard to stick with the same schedule as much as possible. Sometimes that means missing a birthday party that falls in the middle of nap time. Sometimes that means leaving a little bit earlier or arriving a little bit later. But, it works. Trust me on that.
You mentioned that your husband is helpful. Perfect. So is mine. Since I am breastfeeding, I was the one to nurse the baby and put him to bed at night. Hubby played with our older son and then I took over for stories and bed time. The nights were pretty much like that for awhile. Now that the Ryan is older, sitting up and playing more - Dad can do kid duty with both of them while I cook dinner or clean up or vice versa. We really trade off all night long.
It's harder when it's one parent for the night (we try to make a point to get our own time in with our friends). But since we have established a good routine, it's not that bad. I can usually get my older son interested in a book or a game while I nurse/feed the baby and put him to sleep. If it's a rough night, the baby goes in the swing while I tend to the toddler. Or, I'll break my "no TV after 7 rule" and put Blues Clues or Thomas on for Jacob while I put Ryan to bed.
The relationship between our boys is already amazing. Ryan adores his big brother and squeals and kicks in delight at the sight of him. Jacob shares his toys with Ryan (most of the time), loves to make him laugh and LOVES to give kisses and hugs to him. Yea, we change a lot of diapers. Yea, most days I don't even know what day it is. Yea, some days I'm dead tired from either one (or both) having a rough night. But, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Congrats and enjoy!
T.