Potty Training Trouble

Hi K.-

I am a big fan of the bare bottom club too-that is how I trained both of my children-my son was potty trained by 2 1/2 (day and night)-it took 2 weeks of running around naked for him to be consistent. I noticed though that after the novelty wore off about 6 months later, we started having pee accidents bc he was too busy playing and would wait until too late-that was a tough time. My daughter was potty trained by 19 months(her idea!)They had a couple of accidents each but after that it was clear sailing. I just used a serious but quiet voice and told them I was disappointed that they had not gone poopy in the potty but that maybe they would make it to the potty next time-and I talked to them about what I was doing as I cleaned up the mess-saying things like "ooh yuck" every now and then and ending with saying that cleaning up poo is a yucky stinky job (be it a diaper or a floor)and that is why we go in the potty so we can just flush it away. No mess, no yuck.

Good luck!

K.

My suggestion is to do exactly what he's willing to do. Leave his pants off in the house. If you must put something on that put under ware on. Reward him highly for doing it in the potty and don't say a thing when he doesn't. Children don't respond the way you would think to neg. But my biggest suggestion is to leave him bare butted when your at home and no one is around. It doesn't hurt anything and it makes it easier for him to realize he has to go before he goes. I totally potty trained my children naked. It's just easier. They only time that had anything on their butt was when we left the house and bed time (in the beginning) good luck

I have not yet had the joy of potty training a boy. However for my girls what seemed to get them over that hump was putting them in underwear. I know it may not seem practical and it may not work for everyone, but it worked for me. Well actually this was with my 5 year old, because as soon as my 9 year realized she could go in the toilet she did not want to go in her pull-up she would cry, but my other daughter would do the same thing, she would poop, then tell me afterwards. When she wore underwear, she only pooped in them once and I am guessing she did not like the feeling because she never pooped in them again.

Also maybe if you show him what the treat is going to be, maybe if you show him something that he really likes that he will be getting, maybe that will be more incentive to go. I am not sure, just throwing out ideas.

We had similar difficulty with our son. Our ped recommended that we talk to him and let him know that the pooping on the potty was up to him and he is in charge of that. Mom and Dad can't make him decide when to poop etc and that this is his thing. Then suggested that after that chat, we take him to the store and let him pick out a reward present- not a token but something reasonable too- and bring it home and put it away- telling him once and only once that when he did go on his own that he could have the toy. He stressed that we shouldn't remind him of the toy or use it as a bribe or threat since he picked it out and would want it. That worked and we were on the path to independence- that took about two-three weeks and golden ever since Thanksgiving week.

The taking time to use the bathroom- stopping the fun play to go- is something that is challenging. When he needs to go to the bathroom- we do stop what we are doing and he has seen that we wait and didn't "have fun" with whatever we were doing before, while he was up in the bathroom. That has seemed to help and is less of an issue. Gradually he has just stopped and gone- sometimes he needs a little encouragement when we see he needs to use the bathroom and a reminder- we'll wait. I know in the future not everyone will wait for him- like friends etc but at least it is a great start.

When they are ready- they do it and make a big deal about doing it on his own! It is a big deal and a great achievement!! Good luck!

I took my son to the store, let HIM pick out a $10 truck and told him he would earn it when he pooped on the potty. Next morning he got up and sat on the potty every 5 minutes for 2 hours and earned that truck and then never looked back. Good luck!

HI K., My son was having the exact same trouble that it sounds like you are having. It can be so frustrating after six long weeks to feel like you have made so little progress. When i was feeling like it was never going to happen, i called a friend who has seven boys! she said to try this...put the training on pause. go back to diapers for a while. take a couple of months off. she said that this worked for three of her boys and one of them she had to take two breaks with. i was skeptical and thought that it would make all my progress lost. but being tired of the messes i gave in. three or four months later, i made a sticker chart for the fridge as well as potty treats. it turns out that since he remembered how the thing worked the first time, it was an easier transition to the next step of figuring out how to tell me before he needed to go. after a few weeks he had it down, with only an occasional slip up.

If he has a set time of day that he poops then you need to catch him around that time. Or just try to take him a bit more often and have him try to poop. Also, I am sure you can catch him in the act. Most kids I know either hide, make a face, squat, grunt..... When you see one of these tell-tale signs, grab him and run to the potty and let him sit for a bit, but no pressure. So you will just have to pay super close attention to what he is doing all day long until you can catch him in the act and train from there. Good luck.

We went through this with my son and he was about 3.5 when he finally really got it. He was just too busy to do anything else. He had poop accidents for a while after he had stopped having pee accidents, and it just got to the point where he got tired of it. I know it doesn't help much, but they do grow out of it and don't go to kindergarten not going potty! Good luck!

Hi K.,

I am dealing with this exact issue! I tried giving him treats if he tells me he has to go but it won't work! My son has also pooped in the potty before but he is just getting lazy now! I now take away the things he like the most for two days and if he poops on himself at night (7-8) I make him lay in the bed with no TV. I found this to work a little better than the treats.

With my daughter, we went to the dollar store and bought these small reward charts & stickers. I think it has about 30 blocks. We told her that she gets 1 sticker for pee & 2 stickers for poop. When it is all filled out, we went to the store to pick out a toy! This has worked very well for us! May be some version of that will work for you! Good Luck!

K.,
What worked for me may not be the best for your son, but despite people telling me that boys took longer and were harder to potty train I did not find that to be true. My older son was potty trained a month before his 3rd b-day. I took hiom to the store and let him pick out his big boy underpants. I explained to him that if he had an accident in them I would have to throw them away. After his first accident I threw them in the trashcan and after he cried I told him that he had to tell mommy and daddy when he had to poop or pee. This took four days but after that he was completely potty trained both at home and at preschool. My younger son was even easier. He decided at 2 that he did not need diapers, so we gave all of his diapers away to a baby and let him pick out big boy underpants from the store. He was potty trained in 1 day and does not have accidents at home or at preschool. I would suggest just to give him praise and encouragement. The fact that he has a younger sister should help encourage him to be a big boy. You can tell him that only his baby sister wears diapers and pullups.

GOOD LUCK:)
F.

My husband and I read an article stating that you should let them run around with nothing on for 20-30 min at a time. I know it isn't very practical but, it does help the process (I feel). We also got a small potty rather than just a seat to fit onto the regular toilet. He needed more leverage. We also keep either sweat pants or elastic pant waist pants on him at all times. I am going through the exact same thing my son is 3 as well but I work and have to rely on a daycare to help during the week. They are not as quick to see the look they get when they 1st get ready to go. When he is with me, once I see him push that 1st push I race him to the potty and sit with him and he ends up going every time!! I reward him with a hand full of M & M's. You can see he feels so proud afterwards! It gets a little easier everytime. Hope this helps!! Potty training isn't easy!! Just stay positive and give him praise even if it is just PP. Good luck!

Jen

Hi K.. My son is 3 1/2 and still won't poop on the potty. He tells me has to go and I put a diaper on and he goes right away. He just won't go on the potty. He'll hold it. I've tried stickers and bribes and he doesn't care. Luckily he only poops once a day so it's not a big deal. I just hate buying diapers still! He's not night trained either so he wears a diaper to bed (he pees through a pull up). Just be patient...how many older kids do you know that poop regularly on themselves! Not many I'm guessing!! But let me know the secret if you find out!