Potty Training Son - Buena Vista,VA

Updated on May 21, 2013
H.R. asks from Buena Vista, VA
8 answers

I have a son who just turned 3 in February. My husband and I have been working with him for over a month to get him potty trained as we plan to put him in Headstart next year. The problem is every once in a while he will revert back and start peeing and pooping in his underwear. He tends to do it more when my husband is home or if I have stepped out and its just him and my husband. My husband is his Daddy and they have a fantastic relationship. My husband Loves our son and Our son loves him. I just don't get it. When I brought this up to some friends of mine, they asked if anything in the household had changed, as I know some kids do not take well to change and the answer is no. My husband and I have been together for almost 7 years and been married for 5. We have a 5 almost 6 year old daughter who did not do this. We had her completely potty trained right after she turned 3. It took us only a week to potty train her. Is this normal for little boys? Could it be because of my husband's work schedule and the fact that I have worked with our son more, he has just gotten used to me?

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So What Happened?

He has a checkup on May 28th for something else, and I plan to ask the dr. about it as well.

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A.C.

answers from Syracuse on

My son did this too. It wasn't lack of my reminders for him to use the potty, or his inability to make it in time. More likely, I think it was that it was not a priority for my son to stay dry, and he would rather continue to play than make a trip to the bathroom. At first, I would help him change out of his wet/dirty underwear, and help him get cleaned up but at the suggestion of a friend I had him clean himself up, get changed, and clean up any floor messes by himself. Suddenly, making it to the potty on time was a huge priority for him and he was accident free day and night within days! :) Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think you have probably learned his habits and recognize when he's about to go and you remind him or give some sort of clue that reminds him to go.

He is really young to be in total control of his internal body. He's still pretty young.

He also has all summer to work on this. AND I imagine the head start teachers have had a poopy kid or two in their years of teaching. Just be sure and send him a new change of clothes every time.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I would need to know more information before beginning to answer this. Does Daddy live with you? What is his relationship with his son? How does your son act around his Daddy and his Daddy around him? What is the family dynamics? Do you and his Daddy get along or is there tension in the air?

Later: I suggest it's possibly because your husband does this differently than you do and you've worked with him more. You're consistent while your husband's involvement is part time. You may pick up on signs he needs to use the potty and send him to do that, probably without even thinking about it while your husband is naturally not as aware or is not paying attention. He could just be excited to be with his Daddy and not pay attention to signs, himself. Any number of things could be going on.

Also, have you kept track of when accidents happen to know for sure this is happening only when he's with his Dad? I suggest, that at 3, it's common to not always be dry and poop free. Their bodies are still developing and they are still learning to pay attention. Using the potty still isn't second nature for them.

Also remember that every child is different and girls usually train earlier than boys.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I apologize if I sound redundant as I didnt read all the other answers, but your son completely reminded me of my son when he was at this age doing Exactly the same thing. I got really frustrated cos he was my oldest and I had a 1.5 yr old also at that time. I kind of went nuts with my son at that age for potty training and I wil tell you this, DO not rush him. My son, to this day, Hates going to the bathroom. If he can hold it, he will, about 2 years ago I had to take him to the doctor cos I thought he has some urinal infection (THank God he didn't) cos it hurt him so much when he Finally went to pee.
and my daughter, God Bless her gentle soul, was completely potty trained before she turned 3. so Yeah, boys do take their sweet time , give it to him. Please dont rush him. keep motivating him..keep telling him he has to remember to go potty.(the new Daniel Tiger Song "when you gotta go potty you , Stop and go right away...." seems to be very popular).
good luck.

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

All 3 of my kids were very easy to potty train, each was completely done at or right around 2y/o with no regression what so ever....so I might not be the best one to give advice...but my first two thoughts were:

Either A)Daddy doesn't pay as close attention as you do and doesn't remind him to go when needed?

Or B) it's just too much fun playing/being with Daddy that the lil' guy just doesn't want to stop what he is doing and go potty?

I think this is pretty normal behavior and I wouldn't worry too much about it, he will get it before you know it!

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D..

answers from Miami on

I think that what Amelia said is something concrete that you and your husband can do to help your son decide that he wants to actually go to the bathroom instead of going in his pants.

Having to wash out underwear and pants in a toilet is not very fun. Though you certainly don't want to be harsh with him, don't make things pleasant, and don't talk to him while he has to do it other than telling him to do it. Also sending him to his room for some quiet time after clean-up might help bring home the message that he needs to stop being lazy and use the toilet.

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S.R.

answers from Kansas City on

i think you are making a big issue out of nothing. your life could be a lot worse. keep working with your son and know that he is only 3 and his little brain is trying to connect the urge to pee and poo with sitting on the toilet to relieve himself. most boys usually take a lot longer than girls, i know i have been through both. give it more time and stop expecting so much out of your son. i would sit down and talk with your DH and let him know that every hour he needs to remind your son to go potty or watch for signs that he has to pee. my son who is almost four grabs his private area and dances around and doesnt want to go, especially if they are in the middle of something fun...

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M.T.

answers from New York on

I think you are over thinking this. It's not about their relationship or your husband's schedule. Does your husband do things exactly the same way that you do? Consistency is key. If you automatically take your son to the bathroom or watch for the signs that he has to go, but your husband is waiting for him to say "Daddy, I need to pee/poop", there are going to be accidents. Talk with your husband about how you each do the toileting, so that you are both doing the same thing, and the thing that works. He may assume your son will tell him that he needs to go, and maybe your son needs the reminder. Good luck.

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