2.5 Yr Old "Not Potty Trained"

Gamma G.

And when you look back at this at my age, you will laugh, just as I am today! He's so funny!

I'm a big fan of the idea that a kid is potty trained when he says he is. He's ready to take this step at daycare, which is great. He's not ready to take this step at home, which is fine. Follow his cues as to what he wants to do. Don't pressure or cajole him. I would just be matter of fact when it comes time to decide between a diaper and underwear: "are you ready to wear underwear and use the potty at home today?" and if the answer is no, then be OK with that and put him in a diaper. There is no window for him to miss.

This little guy might be going at child care but that's because he sees his peers going and he wants to fit in. At home he's in charge and he's getting a lot of attention for not going.

I suggest you let it go for a little while and ignore him about potty training. This will make him wonder why you're not focused on it. He will want your attention so he'll have some accidents. If you don't react or give him any attention for it he might try going to the potty to get attention. When he does give him a little attention for going, good job, here have a couple of M&M's or Jelly Beans.

This will reinforce that you like it when he goes and gives him positive attention. He wants to please you but on the other side of that is getting a lot of attention for not going. So it's important you stop talking about him not going to him at all.

Our daughter was pretty physically advanced. She could lift and turn her head the moment she was born, same in the crib when she was about 4 weeks old when she would roll over.. could walk unassisted at 6 months.

She also could speak in full sentences at a year.. BUT she was not potty trained until she was 4. And not without me trying over and over again. I finally just thought, she will figure this out. So I pretty much dropped it.

And then one day in day care she noticed and paid attention to all of the children sitting on the little potty chairs, looking at books.. And it just seemed to click for her. She was able to pee easily. the BMs took a little longer and then she had very few accidents. We would remind and ask her, do you want to try to potty? Do you feel like you have a potty? She eventually was able to put it all together.

There are no words we can use with each other to explain the sensation of needing to urinate or defecate. Try to say out loud using words someone would understand what it feels like.. Then try to use these words with a child.. They are just not in our vocabulary to explain the sensation.. And so, we must just guide our children until it clicks. This feeling means I need to get to the potty and go.

He will catch on, give it time. This is going to be his deal to figure out, you will just need to give him opportunities to try,

Mine will be 3 in October and we are still working on the potty training thing. What has finally worked for us is bribing him... Yep. We bribe our child to go potty on the toilet with stickers. If he goes potty on the toilet, he gets a sticker.

We don't take him every two hours, just a few times throughout the day to keep it fun for him and not a chore. He has even started coming to us and asking to use the potty (Not every time, but probably once a day). Once he is a little more verbal, we will start with the every 2 hours thing but for now we are just praising him when he goes and not worrying about it when he doesn't.

If he's going at school, he can go at home too. Get rid of the diapers and pull ups and put him in underwear. If he has accidents, then he has to be restricted to one area of the house until he goes. Cover the furniture with towels and give him lots of liquids and just a few toys and books. He will grow weary of this quickly and decide he's ready to go on the potty at home too.

edited:
I feel like by blowing this off at home, you are undermining what the daycare is doing, and sending mixed messages to your kid. Be thankful that he was the postitive peer pressure to be a big boy at school and help him to have that at home too.

yes you take him every 2 hrs, set a timer, if he has an accident have him help you clean it up, you can show disproval but not anger or shame.

to be honest, I think potty training really works best if you make it a priority and focus on it. BLock out a weekend where you stay home and just take him every 2 hrs and praise him like crazy.

I do not go in for waiting until a child approaches you and asks politely for you to take him to the loo. HE'S 3 he's probably not going to walk up to you and ask if it's bed time, or if he can have some spinach and liver. potty training is the same, i'ts good for him ( and your wallet).

also fill him so full of water or what ever liquid that you allow him, so he HAS to do something on the potty, a fun straw or a treat of a juice box or something helps make it fun.

Well I am not sure on the daycare thing, but I know that my oldest two both trained really easily around their third birthdays. With my second he seemed trained many times before three, but then he would regress. He would initiate the potty and I would pull off his diaper and let him go and then he would want to try underwear, but the accidents would be too frequent. The last time he tried was right after he turned three and that was it. Does he have BMs at daycare. I never considered my boys fully trained until they could confidently go #2 on the big potty, until then they were in their process. Us going back and forth between diapers and underwear was not a problem, it just let my dudes know that they were on their own time table, I wasn't worried about it. I didn't use stickers, treats, nada. The bathroom is just a regular part of life and other than so e true excitement about that first poo in the potty, we kept it very low key. Great for him he can potty at daycare, awesome, soon he will be able to go everywhere, awesome. I would praise his accomplishments at daycare, thank the workers for their good work and move on. If he has accidents at home, then diapers or pull ups until he is ready to tackle a full day and night of potty training, heck you can pull a diaper off if he wants to potty, it isn't hard. Gives him that security that he won't have to face an accident and parental stress or disappointment. He will get there, i believe that if potty training is hard then it's being approached poorly. Good luck!

If they are taking him every 2 hours, then they are trained and he is not. So your son is being truthful in his 2 yr old way. If the only way he stays dry is to be taken to the toilet, and you want to keep him dry, then you will now need to take him to the toilet til he goes on his own. FYI, my DD was not reliably trained til she was 3.5 though she showed interest and some ability before then. And by "trained" I mean she went on her own when she needed to, not me taking her.

So to answer you, if you want to keep him in underpants at home, then yes, expect accidents, but plan to take him to the toilet to prevent them.

You can tell him that you know he can use the potty at daycare so you will be taking him to "try" same as at daycare. And let that be the end of the "I not trained" comment.

My son did well at going potty at daycare because all the other kids were doing it. He didn't potty train at home for 6-9 months after he started doing well at daycare. It's a power issue - at daycare he felt like he had to; at home it felt like a choice.

I think he wasn't really mentally ready. Potty trained on a schedule isn't really potty trained. I don't know why daycares do the two hour thing so early. I imagine it's because many kids do fine there; it's just at home where they don't feel as much pressure and have different routine that it is difficult.

Anyway, this is pretty common, from what I learned when it happened to us. Unfortunately, the daycare thing can take away the excitement of learning to use the potty and it can take longer to actually potty train.

We tried pushing it at home when he did it at daycare, and it backfired; so I wouldn't recommend that. (And yes, it was gentle pushing with sticker charts, praise, etc.) Wait until he seems to want to do it at home, and you'll save yourself some frustration! Good luck!

Ok, I for one don't have the time or the inclination to cover furniture with towels, nor restrict my child to one room of the house until he is potty trained. Good grief! What is this? Military training? LOL!

Mama, he's not ready. For whatever reason, with you, he's not ready. We trained our older 3 children VERY easily just after their 3rd birthdays. I think I can say with near 100% certainty that everyone in my real life who touted "We potty-trained!" before the age of 3, had a child who had accidents (lots and lots of them) up until about the age of 3.5y. And many still had their kids in diapers/pull ups until age 4 or 5 at night.

My bigger question to you would be just what kind of tactics is this daycare using? Are they being gentle and guiding, or are they tired of changing diapers, so they are forcing and pushing? Just food for thought...

Let the whole issue go at home. Maybe with you and at home, he just needs to still be your baby, and this is his way of letting you know. Trust me, they all eventually use the potty. No need to stress.

I would find out what the differences are between when he goes potty at daycare or at home. What are the potty seats like? What sort of reward/praise does he get, if any, at daycare? I would try the every 2 hours like daycare does. Get him a pinwheel to blow (this helps with the diaphragm pushing) or some books about going potty to read while he goes ('No More Diapers for Ducky' is a short and fun one).

Our son is almost 2.5 and these are the things we've been doing with him. He is more likely to tell us he has to go when his daddy is home and is more successful too. If he has an accident while in underwear, we have him help clean up as far as removing his wet clothes and getting paper towels for us.

This really helped a friend of mine who wanted her son potty trained fast.
http://www.sleepsense.net/share.html?p=brandyklein&w=...

Leave him bottomless at home.

With boys sometimes it's easier to leave them naked, or bottomless at home while training. We have a 2.5 year old at this exact point who wears shorts (commando) for 1/2 a day, and then bottomless for 1/2 a day.

After about a week, we're down from washing 5 pair of underwear daily from pee and a log in the shower - to one pair of shorts to wash from starting too early per day.

I wouldn't use the word "potty trained". It signifies some type of finish line - and he ain't finished yet. We ask our DS multiple times throughout the day - do you need to go potty. Also I would suggest watching the episode of
Daniel Tiger (PBS) "Prince Wednesday goes to the Potty". Their little song really helped DS remember "When you have to go potty.... Stop. And go right away. Then flush and wash and be on your way"

Geez...I'm quoting a children's cartoon....time for coffee