Potty Training Relapse - Downers Grove,IL

She wasn't fully ready to be diaper-free. You got lucky for a few months, then she went into a very typical phase of either being afraid of the potty or of wanting to hold on to her poop. Most kids just aren't fully trained until past the age of 3. She's in a normal developmental phase, and I understand that you're frustrated because you thought you were done with diapers, but that's often how it goes.

The novelty of the potty has worn off and/or she's really not getting the "full colon" signal from colon to brain. She might have been reliably trained because the potty was fun and she was there a lot, and therefore successful. Now she's distracted by a normal 2.5 year old's life and activities, and she's just not cognitively aware of her body's needs.

You can't yell at her. Don't shame her. Don't show your frustration. It doesn't work. It can make it worse - if she doesn't want to use the potty, she'll hold in her poop and you'll have a big constipation problem, which will cause more pain and discomfort on the potty. Then it becomes almost traumatic to go.

She's in a new phase. She's not being defiant. Take a deep breath, and let it go (no pun intended). She will not go to kindergarten in diapers. She will let you know when she's ready. Don't ask. You will see it in her behavior.

Choose the battles you really need to fight. This isn't one of them, as wonderful as it would be if it were her time to be trained. My child was nearly 4 for daytime potty use, and was wet at night until age 11 - also a normal developmental stage.

Take her to the bathroom at times when she might want to go and ask her to try. Offer a book for her to look at. If she doesn't like the big toilet, try a potty. Some kids don't like to have their feet dangle when they poop, or they get busy and forget to get to the bathroom on time. My bet is that she's simply working on another skill and is a busy kid. Try not to yell. It's a developmental phase. Just regroup and go on. She won't do this forever.

My DD always HATED pooping in a potty when I was teaching her. When I put her on a regular toilet, ta-da! No more problem! It could be something so simple for you. (If you are currently using a regular toilet, you might try a potty seat instead...)

If you think it is time for her to go and she says she doesn't need to, tell her she needs to try. If she goes, congratulate her and THANK her for going in the toilet. (Good Job! thank you for going in the potty! Now we don't have to clean up a poop mess!) if she doesn't, then just let her get up and resume her play without making a fuss.

If she goes in her pants, don't shame her over it, but matter of factly have HER clean up the mess. Have her dump the poo into the toilet, the. Rinse her underwear out in the sink. A lot of times kids get too busy to want to stop playing and use the restroom... If that's the case with her, she will quickly learn that she loses more play time and it is a lot more of a hassle to poop in her pants.

Figure out what truly motivates her. For my daughter, at almost 3, it wss m & Ms. She got 3 for going poop. This of course didn't work for my son. They were old news by the time he was almost 3. I spent four weeks offering ridiculous things like whole cookies and cupcakes. I finally stumbled upon the fact that he wanted a present. I bought some packs of hotwheels and wrapped them up. He got a car for going poop on the potty. He never looked back. He doesn't get cars anymore. Once he got in the habit we moved on to the m &ms. Hope this helps. Don't give up. You are doing great.
C.

Regressions happen for no reason sometimes. Maybe she will night train soon! I found with my kids that they always regressed before leaping forward.

Remain calm, reassure her, "oops! Next time we will get it in the pot."