Potty Training Problem - Murfreesboro,TN

Updated on August 30, 2009
A.F. asks from Murfreesboro, TN
19 answers

Hello ladies! You have been so helpful with previous questions I've had! I'm hoping you can lend some advice on this issue also! My daughter is now 18 months old and is showing all the signs of being ready to potty train. We started last week but soon became frustrated and so gave it a break and started back up again today. We have been working on a routine that starts when she wakes up and then we try every hour to try to catch accidents. She is running around with just a tshirt on all day. She doesn't seem to mind sitting on the potty for 5 minutes (sometimes 10 minutes), but she hasn't gone on the potty. She waits and pees on the floor 2 minutes after we get off the potty. I try to show her my disgust for her peeing on the floor by saying "ewwww, yucky, gross" but I clean up immediatly and she doesn't seem to show any concern for doing it on the floor. What am I doing wrong? I need help. I would like to have her trained before she reaches her terrible 2's and refuses to do anything I ask. HELP!!!!!!

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So What Happened?

For those of you who gave me helpful input and success stories I really do appreciate it! I'm not a believer that my daughter is "too young" as many moms stated. I feel that the "too young" stems from moms becoming more lazy due to the availability of disposable diapers- in fact, I'm the researching type and I've found research that shows since the 1960s the age in which children (both girls and boys) has risen from before they were 18 months in the 60s to an average of 4 years old today. The main cause for this that researchers can attribute this to is disposable diapers. Mother's were more eager to get children out of cloth diapers back in the day. As for Addison, she started peeing and pooping in the potty today. It just took getting on a schedule and understanding how pleased mommy and daddy will be if she does it in the potty instead of the floor. We also reward her with 1 m&m for pee and 2 for poop and we put a sticker on her potty chart on the fridge! This makes her feel so good about herself! For those working on this also persistance is the key and don't feel intimidated by other moms!!!!

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K.B.

answers from Asheville on

Hi A.,
First be careful about saying yuck. When my now 23 month would poop in her diaper I would joke and say yuck. Now that we are potty training when she has to go she says Yuck! Even when we are out in public!
Anyway when we first started she also would pee right after she got off the potty. It is much better now so I guess it just takes time. My pediatricain actually recommended I put her potty in the bathtub so if she did that I could just rinse the tub. Good luck.

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G.M.

answers from Raleigh on

it sounds like it may have become a game. "if i pee, mommy makes a funny face and wipes it up". Perhaps letting her pick out some big girl panties with her favorite character. That way, when she wets she'll feel the yucky rather than being able to watch it come out - which let's face it, can be fascinating to a toddler :)

Good luck!

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D.C.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi A.,

My son (who just turned 3) is now finally potty trained. He showed all of the signs just before he turned two, and we also started trying at that time. He seemed to get it for the first day or so, but I think it was just "by accident" that he went in the potty. When we started getting frustrated, he started refusing to go. I stopped potty training at that point because I didn't want him to associate any negativity with it. We tried again each month and really waited until he showed interest in it. When Addison is really ready, she'll get the hang of it quickly. Trying to force it too early is just going to frustrate all of you. The independence that comes along with being two will help with the potty training as well.

Good luck!

D.

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A.M.

answers from Asheville on

Hi A. - first of all, she is not way too young, as one M. suggested. At least not in theory - if she is showing readiness signs, then she is ready to potty train. But, having said that, just because she is showing signs of readiness, does not mean that she will automatically pick it up. My suggestion would be to have her in pull-ups when she is running around the house. By not having her in them, you are just setting yourself up for frustration and she will pick up on your tension. My daughter also exhibited signs of readiness at 18 months. We were very successful immediately with going to the potty when we needed to have a bowel movement. The pee came about 4 - 6 months later - so about 2 years and 3 months. I'm sure your daughter has bowel movements around the same time everyday - if you haven't really noticed, start to pay close attention and you might be surprised that she tends to need to go at about the same time or times every day. I just made sure that we went to the potty at those times and my daughter always had 'success' on the potty. She potty trained for bowel movements in 2 days. As I said, the pee came later. But, I always had her in pull-ups during the day and night before she was completely trained. And, it was not until she turned 3 that we were able to dispense with the night time diaper. Even when your daughter is potty trained, she may have accidents occasionally, so please keep that in mind and don't make a big deal of them. Believe me, before you know it, she will be potty trained. Keep it positive and guilt-free and it will be a much happier experience for everyone. Good luck!! Oh, and just an fyi, I had a potty seat, but my daughter has always been one to want to do what we were doing, so I also had one of those cushioned seats that goes on the regular toilet and that is what she preferred. She used the little potty for those first two days and then wanted to try the big potty and she never went back. (I do keep the little potty seat in our car, though, even to this day - she is 3 1/2 - just in case there is an emergency when we are out and about - we got stuck in a huge traffic jam on a road trip this past spring and it was a life saver!).

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A.P.

answers from Nashville on

A.,

I am currently in the process of potty training my 2 1/2 year old boy but I have done very little in this process. He initiated sitting on the toilet about five months ago and has done pretty well with it since. But every child is different. My son has very few accidents when I let him go without pants on because he will stop what he is doing and go straight to the toilet. If I put ANY kind of underwear or diaper on him, he uses it like a diaper. And he has no interest in pooping on the potty.

I have been proud of my son's accomplishments but I know we're a long way from being totally toilet trained. I hope you can celebrate with your daughter what she has accomplished so far.

The biggest thing for me is I would desperately try to avoid reacting negatively to her having accidents. I may say that it belongs in the potty or point out that she pee peed or pooped, and doesn't that make your tummy feel better. But an accident should just be cleaned up and the child should not be made to feel bad over it. I feel that sends the wrong message. Becoming aware of her bodily functions and how to control them should be the main focus right now. My son went from having zero accidents (without underwear on around the house) to having them all the time then telling me what he'd done. I simply put some training pants or a diaper on him for a day or two then that behavior stopped.

GOOD LUCK and hang in there.

A.

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K.P.

answers from Memphis on

My aunt p-t'd her children this way: she'd set aside a day or two and basically stay in the bathroom all day. She'd feed the kids salty things (to make them thirsty) and give them Sprite (or some other beverage they'd like to drink a lot of) so they'd have to pee a lot. Being in the bathroom, they'd 1) have close access to the potty so the kids could be swooped up put on the potty when they started peeing, and 2) be on a surface that was easy to wipe up. They read stories and whatever in the bathroom to pass the time.

I wish I had p-t'd my older son at 18 months when he seemed to be ready, but I followed the advice of not p-t'ing right before a major life change, and I was due a month later.

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S.T.

answers from Nashville on

Get a baby doll that pees, and put a diaper on it. Then take the diaper off and put her on the potty and make her pee in the potty. My neice learned that way almost immediatly. She "got it" when she saw that. Good luck and God bless with lots of patience!!

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J.V.

answers from Jacksonville on

I think she is WAY to young for potty training. Most people find if they wait until about 2 years 3 months it will go alot faster. My son was completly potty trained by 3 and it only took a couple of weeks. There's nothing wrong with having her sit on the potty at this age, but I would keep her in a pull up when she's not on it.

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T.H.

answers from Louisville on

My daughter just turned 2 yo and is recently potty trained. All I can do is tell you what we did. We took away all diapers and pull ups. We put her in underwear so that she could feel what it was like to be wet and we kept our routine the same. I still went out in public to all the places we went before. The only difference was we checked out every bathroom we could find and I lined her car seat with a waterproof cover. We had several changes of clothing with us also. We kept everything positive and didn't react to accidents other than to say "uh oh" and then take her right to the potty and make her sit for a minute. The public restroom visits became a highlight for her and she caught on very quickly. I would say she was mostly potty trained in about 2 weeks and fully after a month. Be patient and hang in there. You know your child best and will make the right decision for your family. Good Luck.

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

just give it a break for awhile. but also dont use words like gross and other negative comments it just puts a negative image in her head. good luck no on goes to college in a diaper!

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S.S.

answers from Raleigh on

It is simple. She isn't ready yet. When kids are ready to potty train they catch on right away. I have 6 children, the youngest is now 14 years old. My rule of thumb to see if they are ready is if they have more than 2 accidents in a day they aren't ready. She may be showing some signs but doesn't understand the signals from her body yet. It all has to do with them figuring out what there body is doing. I have 2 girls and they were potty trained right around 2 years old, boys are closer to 3. Mine were all potty trained within 1 week both night and day once their bodies were ready. I never had a problem with the "terrible twos" and them not wanting to try. To be honest most kids don't hit the terrible twos until they are 3. Make yours and her life easier and wait until her body is mature enough to do this. You will both be happier. I would rather change a dirty diaper any day over messy training pants! Good Luck

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S.P.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi A.. I know potty training is REALLY frustrating, but hang it there. I had the same problem with my son when we starting potty training at the same age. With him it was just too soon, but doesn't mean that your daughters not ready. What worked for me when he was ready was taking him to the potty frequently, like every 15 to 20 min until he went in the potty. Then if he went I would wait like an hour or so. I also explained to him that he was a big boy now and he didn't need diapers anymore and he was going to wear big boy underwear. I tried to get him excited about it. We made a sticker chart. He got to put a sticker on each time he went in the potty & then got a special treat (m&m's, he'll do anything for them). I think it's important to find something that motivates/excites her. For me I chose not to use pull-ups or diapers when training, I wanted him to see what happened when he peed or went poopy in his pants. Consistency is important. Good luck, hope this helps!

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E.F.

answers from Louisville on

Obviously, if she's not understanding then she's too young. Try again next month for a few days and then a few days the month after that. She'll eventually understand the concept when she's old enough. Most kids don't potty train until well past their 2nd birthday even if they show some signs of readiness. Biggest and most important thing is to not allow anyone involved to become negative or frustrated.

At a certain point in development she will automatically understand that urine and feces are yucky without you having to teach her.

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L.H.

answers from Memphis on

Hello.The more you keep trying to potty train your daugther the worse it will get. Take her to the potty when you go to the bathroom. Make a big deal out of it. You might say,:look what a big girl mommy is and tell her to listen for you to potty. Let her hear the sound.Keep asking her if she has to go potty.I know this is hard on you, but she will get the hang of on her time.I have a 2yr. old granddaughter and this is what we are doing for her.You might try letting her clean us the floor and still tell her it is nasty.Be firm but not too hard on her. She will do the potty thing in her time.We keep asking if Grace has to go potty and sometimes she will. Sometimes she will tell us she has to go.Good luck!

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L.W.

answers from Lexington on

Your daughter is too young. Wait a while. What's the rush in getting her potty trained? When she's ready, it will happen quickly.

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S.P.

answers from Louisville on

We started potty training my daughter at 18 months - she is 2 years 3 months now...

Not only was her little sister on the way, but we aslo have a super-competitive friend that was trying to beat us to potty training - so we just knew we had to potty train her and do it FAST. There was no way I was going to have TWO in diapers OR let my friend potty train her daughter before mine. HA!!

But what you're doing sounds exactly what I did... sat her on the potty throughout the day, tried leaving her naked (just ended up with puddles all throughout my house), tried going straight to the big girl panties, sticker charts, M&Ms, portable potty seats, seats that attach to the big toilet, etc. You name it, we have tried it.

We gave up after a few months because although we had some successes, she had no interest at all (and still doesn't). Occasionally, we will see the "signs" of an oncoming bowel movement and will make it to the potty in time. But for the most past, we are wearing pull-ups (because they are easier than diapers at this stage) and that's about it. We are no longer forcing the issue and assume she will gain more interest in time.

Of course, we celebrate our successes and hope that she will eventually make the connection - she will... in time.

We had to give up on being the first mom to potty train as well (and I guess I do find comfort in knowing her daughter is still NOT potty trained either - ha!!)

Just don't rush or stress or fret. She is her own unique little person and it will happen when she chooses - on her own time. GOOD LUCK!!! :)

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K.G.

answers from Raleigh on

It sounds like she isn't ready. :) Put it on the back burner for another couple of months and try again. You are still at the VERY VERY VERY early end of the PT spectrum.

I was dreading PTing my DD and was actually just happier with her in diapers. It seemed easier to me. At her 2 year appointment her doctor suggested I start putting her on the potty every once in a while just so she got used to it. I did a couple times but since I really didn't want to PT I didn't put much effort into it. Then one day she ran to the bathroom door saying she had to pee! And that was that.

If you want to keep trying her on the potty just do it a couple times a day at the same time. Maybe after she gets up, after nap and before bed. Then keep a diaper on her the rest of the day. Eventually she'll pee on the potty because you hit the right moment and you can make a HUGE deal out of how great she did!

M.W.

answers from Charlotte on

first let me say that after reading some of the other advice i dont agree with her being to young, i had my son completely potty trained well before his 2nd bday. so its all a matter of if they are ready, not age. second you have to stick to a routine that works for your child, if you are going to try panties keep her in them and dont change back and forth that will only confuse her! i work in a daycare center so i see it all the time, one day a child will come in undies have an accidnet ( as even seasoned potty trained do) and they are back in diapers the next day. so stict to it and dont get upset, keep encouraging her progress and she get it. GOOD LUCK!

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M.T.

answers from Raleigh on

First you have to make the choice to start and keep with it or you will give mixed messages. Can I or cant I go in my pants? Also you have to look for signs from her. Does she wake up dry? Is she still taking a bottle? Does she show signs of interest when you go to the bathroom? If you said yes to the waking up dry and interest then she is probably ready. No to the bottle of course. The bottle can cause issues of bed wetting and frustration for you and her. I suggest panties. You dont want to give her the idea that it will be the norm for her to run naked. Let her pick out some cute panties that have Strawberry Shortcake or her favorite character on them. Tell her that she can wear them but she cannot wet them or mess them. If she does than the panties have to go. Tell her they are for big girls that dont wet their pants. Have her set on the potty about every 30 minutes till she she learns that is where she has to go. It is time consuming but you just have to remember it is not forever. In about 1-2 weeks she will be catching on and you will have it easier.

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