Potty Training Issue - Rockwall,TX

Have him wear his underwear out on short trips (ie. Target). Potty before you leave, potty when you get there, potty 1/2 way if you end up at Target longer than you expected, potty before you leave. It sounds totally exhausting but it will work & you will be helping him be successful. Everytime he goes where he is supposed to go it is self esteem producing for him. Bring a change of clothes & wipes with you. You can even sit him on a blanket in the cart (just in case). But don't worry if he has an accident. It happened to us in Target (all over the stuff in the front part of my cart & honestly it wasn't the end of the world. I cleaned her up & wiped everthing off (including the puddle on the floor) & went on my way. :)

Hi B.,

First, kids at this age nearly always answer "no" when you ask them if they need to go. Sometimes they are just not understanding their body's cues, sometimes they are busy playing.

When I started off with helping little ones use the toilet, I would give them a warning "Potty time in two minutes" and then "It's time to use the potty."
"It's time to..." is almost magical-- there's no question, there's no debate, it's just a fact.... Depending on the child, I would take them every twenty minutes or so until I could gauge how often they were really needing to go.

By all means, take him out in diapers until he can stay dry at home more or less on his own. Often, it's the toilets outside of home that can throw kids off, usually because of the size and the sound.

If it were me, I'd also let him wet himself every so often, as a motivation to stay dry. Make sure he's in training pants-- not pull-ups-- so he does have the realistic experience of wetting himself. It sounds like he isn't quite caring about it as much as you care. Perhaps he needs to come to understand that using the toilet is about staying dry, and learn to respond to his body's cues... Hard if they aren't motivated to the same degree we are, huh? If you are in earnest about this, prepare yourself for lots of accidents-- for some kids, they really have to get tired of having to break off play for longer and go change their clothes before they really decide to stop what they are doing and go on their own.

You might also ask him 'can you feel when you need to go?' Some kids just don't 'get it'. And play naked in the backyard whenever you can let him, if you can. Sometimes, this is a good way for them to really learn the connection between those internal cues and 'going'.

Good luck!

My guy is 3, has been extremely verbal in communicating his needs and wants as well since he turned 2 last year in April, and never really told me he had to go, and even now he only tells me if we're out and about and he needs me to find him a bathroom, he's been trained a year. I keep his potty handy for him (he's small enough to still use it but will use the toilet if that's what's available) so he can go be independent and go when he needs to. I figure that he doesn't tell me because he feels it's "private" information and wants to keep it to himself, this may be the same with your son.

I never got into asking him if he had to go because the first few times I did it was a "no" and then he went within a few minutes. So I said (and still say when we're going out) "It's time to go potty!" And he goes like your son.

Because he can hold it throughout the night I say your son's ready and would say "bye-bye" to diapers and put him in undies or Gerber cloth trainers (they hold a bit more) with covers over them for when you go out, have him go right before you leave and when you get to the store or wherever, and take a change of clothing in case of an accident.

It's just a matter of biting the bullet and doing it ; )

My son just turned 3 in June, and what has worked for us is good ole'fashioned bribery, I am not ashamed to say. If he tells me he needs to pee/poo, we whisk him off to the potty, he goes, and then he gets to get 1 Jelly Fish and a sticker for his Potty Chart (I just took a piece of paper, drew a line down the middle and wrote #1 on one side & #2 on the other, and he gets a sticker for his column according to whether he does #1, #2, or both . We started this 2 weeks ago. The first day it was almost all accidents, but by the 3rd day he was telling me 90% of the time.

Some days are better than others, but I have been able to start taking him on 2 hr errands or trips to the park (in underpants) without him having accidents. Prior to this he was always in diapers.

It sounds to me like you need to take the diapers off of him so he can feel when he is wet and it will feel uncomfortable. What I did with my kids was to have them run around naked from the waist down while we were at home. Kids are less likely to pee all over the place than they are to pee in a diaper. I think you are doing the right thing putting him on the toilet frequently, and obviously he does understand what he's supposed to do there, which is great! Then, when you go to Target, have him wear underwear and a plastic cover over. Then if he has an accident, at least it won't be *quite* as messy. :-/ He will get it soon!

If you want him to take himself, you need to stop taking him. He doesn't need to figure out the timing, since you are doing it. So, starting today or tomorrow, stop taking him! Tell him that he is big enough to take himself now, read him the Potty Animal Training book or some other book, and then let him have accidents.

They only learn timing if you let them have accidents. They need to learn how to read the body's signals.

Either underwear or naked at home is what I would try. Let him take responsibility for it (don't take him to the bathroom) and let him wet his pants. It shouldn't take too long for him to realize what happens when he doesn't go as needed. I hope....or he could be stubborn and it may just be time before 'he' is ready.

I agree with the others that he needs to feel the pee running down his legs to really get it. Also, what motivates him? Candy worked great at our house but each kid is different. Is there some place special he wants to go? Like Lego land? He needs a motivator.