How Do I Potty Train When She Is Still in a Crib?

Updated on June 08, 2009
M.M. asks from Hemet, CA
17 answers

I've been introducing the toilet and what it is for to my 2.5 year old daughter, but slowly and only for a few hours at a time. I always put her diaper back on for nap time, bed time, or whenever we go anywhere, or while she is at the sitters (a few hours a week). She has gone a few times, and it seems to be easier for her to go, and if her diaper is off, she will tell me "Mommy PeePee!" and sometimes she will go and other times she just wants to go through the motions of it, wipe, flush, etc. I always make a big deal of it, but so far, she has never made poop in the toilet and I don't think she is ready to. What my main question is, before I pick one of these weekends and just DO IT, should I get her a big girl bed? Or how does night sleep work when they are training? She sleeps REALLY well, and I'd hate to give her any reason not to....maybe it's too soon? And car trips? We are in and out of the car all day, picking up her sister from school, going to the gym, buying groceries, etc. How is all that going to work if she just pees her pants every twenty minutes? Our eldest slept with us at this age, and she would just mumble "peepee" and I'd scoop her up and take her real fast, and she'd pretty much stay asleep. This one is down the hall and has to call out to me (which I hear immediately) but what an interruption to all our sleep this will be! Sorry, I'm kind of thinking aloud here....anyway, any tips, advice, personal experiences would be great, and keep your negativity to a minimum, eh?

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D.M.

answers from San Diego on

She really should get a big girl bed now. My girls were potty trained by 2.5 years, but they were in a diaper at night. I waited until after 3 years old for nighttime training, and they were both so ready that they did it in one night. If she's not ready then, wait until 3.5 years for nighttime training. Also, I kept a portable kid toilet in my van for a long time, and when they had to go while on errands, they would just get in the back and go! It was great.

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R.L.

answers from San Diego on

I did the steps too. First home (more or less mastered), then outings. I'd always bring extra clothes and make him go potty before we'd leave and at least once while we were out (depending on how long we're gone). Accidents happen. No one should be embarrassed by them. Now my son goes everywhere without diapers. He's gotten really good at telling us when he needs to go. I also keep an eye out for signs. I think the sleeping thing takes a while. I plan on keeping my son (2 yrs 8 months) in diapers at nap and bedtime until at least 3 yrs old. He is already staying dry abuot 75% of the time while sleeping but I'm not risking the 25%. I just explain that it's bedtime underwear. Also we always go pee before going to bed and about 15 to 20 min after getting up. My son doesn't like to be rushed in the morning :)

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N.D.

answers from Reno on

I am pretty sure that I am repeating what you have already heard =} Anyway I would NOT switch out of the crib just yet. It takes kids longer to get thru a night dry and switchin from the crib to the bed is a big adjustment, along with learning to use the potty during the day! Too many changes and you will have all kinds of other issues. I would decide what you want to do first (bed or potty) and master THAT before you work on the other one. All three if my kids were day trained, dry during naps and in a crib for close to a year, some where in that year I switched them to the bed and soon after the night time training just followed along. Good luck with whatever choice you make! I kept my youngest in the crib FOREVER =} but that was mainly a 'ME' thing ~ he just slept so well that I was concerned that he would never sleep again out of the crib LOL Turns out he was just fine in the big bed.

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R.J.

answers from San Diego on

My son was daytime potty trained a full year before we moved him from his crib. He was mostly nighttime trained by then as well. He'd go potty before bed, I'd wake him up to go potty just before *I* went to bed, and then he'd go potty in the morning. We had him in underwear during the day, and pullups at night. We'd ALSO allow my son to use his pullups to poop in, for over a year after he was daytime potty trained. Like Susan said, in the West, it's usually the last thing that gets done in this process. <grinning> I think it's about Asian v Western toilets.

We kept him in his crib for a long time compared to most people, but for *us* it was invaluable.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Night Time urinary "control" is NOT the same as regular toilet training. And "pooping" is OFTEN the last thing to be "mastered" during the whole toilet "training" continuum.
So, do NOT rush it.
It does NOT NOT NOT all become mastered, all at the same time.
AND it will not matter, nor will it "make" her "master" toileting better, if she is in a big-girl bed or not.

In other words... staying dry ALL night, or being "able" to wake, and then walk to the toilet in time, takes time. For most kids... this can happen anywhere from 5-7 years old.... without "accidents."

So, try and treat both situations, differently and not with the same expectations.

For me, my daughter still wore a night-time diaper, until she had total night-time control, until about 5 years old. MANY Kindergarten kids are the same way... parents don't just go around advertising it, for fear of shame. BUT this is NORMAL physical/biological development.

I do recommend, using a waterproof bed-pad or crib pad at night.... that way it makes for easier clean up.

Also, for times you are in the car or on the road... I HIGHLY recommend travel "toilets." We have the "On The Go Potty", which you can get from www.amazon.com it is FABULOUS and came in HANDY MANY MANY times, while in the car or at a park and there was NO bathroom in sight, or while stuck in traffic.

Don't worry.... you do not have to expect a child THIS young to be perfect about "night time control" yet.
She is VERY young, to have toilet training AND night-time control to be coordinated in tandem with each other at the same time. And if she's still in a crib, so what.... to me, that is not a problem. Whatever is best for your daughter... every child being different.

Just keep in mind: pee accidents at night WILL happen... it even happens in 10 year olds. My daughter is now 6 years old... but every blue moon, she has an accident. One night, she said was was dreaming she WAS on the toilet... but realize she wasn't when she felt herself get wet. LOL. No big deal. So you see, its fine... no need to punish or pressure the child. Its NORMAL and natural.
Also, some kids sleep SOOOOOO deeply, that they don't even realize they have to pee. So they can't tell you each single time without fail.

All the best, your daughter seems completely normal and doing fine,
Susan

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

When she can get out of the crib herself, she is ready for a big girl bed. If you think she can be potty trained, then get rid of the diapers and put her in a pull up for nap and bedtime until she is dry during those times (bladder mature). As for going out, we used to put those plastic pants (the kind you put over cloth diapers) over her panties in case she had an accident when we were out. Girls are much easier to train than boys (I have one girl and two boys) but when they're ready, it goes fast and smooth.

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Night time and day time potty training are different. Most kids are not night trained until the ages of 5-7. My suggestion would be to just potty train during the day. At bed time put on a pull up. She won't get confused like some may say. It's not recommended to wake a sleeping child to go potty - their sleep is very important at this age.

A book I found useful was The No Cry Potty Training Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.

Best wishes,
M.

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A.A.

answers from San Diego on

hi Mindy
I started potty training my 2 1/2 year old boy and I'll tell you what I did and what's working for us. The day I started I told him no more diapers during the day. I got this advice from my friend who did the same thing. She said once you put a diaper on for any reason (going to the store etc) they might want it back so no more diapers. The first week we didn't go anywhere. I kept him close to a potty at all times. We had some accidents but it was because he needed to get the feeling of having to pee and holding it until he got to the potty. We are 7 weeks in and he is fully potty trained except for at night and naps. That's the advice I got and it worked. He understands that he only wears diapers when he is sleeping. I will say that at night he does call me in an hour after he's been in there and wants to go potty. But after he goes he sleeps all night and wakes up with a semi wet diaper. The sleeping part takes time but ever child is different. My neighbor started training her kid the same day as me and he is 4 months older, he is completely trained even through naps and night time.

The main advice I can give you is do it all or nothing. I'd take the diapers away during the day, she will get it! You will have accidents but they will stop. When we go to the grocery store my son always has to go and I just park the cart and take him to the potty. You just get used to it. Now he goes once every 3 or 4 hours. The pooping thing is tricky and different for everyone. He mostly goes at our house only. If he's with his daddy he'll go anywhere though. Not sure why but he does.

Good luck, feel free to write me back if you have any other questions.
A.

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

we also take out daughter to the potty occaisionaly (when she asks to go because we have backed off pt). what i did in the beginning was got her into a big girl bed then did the potty training jump. doing both at once may backfire because its a lot to take in. just go slow :)

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M.

answers from Las Vegas on

What I did to potty train was to do it in sections. First, we mastered at home, then out in public and we are still working on night time. I kept my daughter naked at home during the day. The kids seem to have more awareness of their bodily functions when naked. My daughter only had one accident and was mortified. I reassured her it was ok and told her next time she would make it to the potty. Sure enough, everytime after that she made it to the bathroom. Once she had really done well with the naked thing, I left her in clothes and underwear at home first. She had a few accidents in her underwear because she felt similar to the security of a diaper. After those few accidents, she did well at home. Next, we battled taking her out in public. She had one accident in a store and was terribly embarrassed. I reassured her it was ok and it never happened again. As far as night time, she is a sound sleeper, 12 hours through the night and does not wake up to go to the bathroom. She just turned 4 and I talked to my pediatrician about it. He said it's normal until about 5 or 6 and not to worry about it. He told me in the winter I could start limiting liquids before bed, but not to do it during the summer with the heat. So, at night she puts a pull up on. She has been day trained since she was 2 1/2 though.

I did not scold her at all, only rewarded her with stickers and I let her pick out panties. I never wanted her to feel bad about an accident.

We have gone on several road trips with her and it has been fine.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

i taught my daughter in stages. one week we just ''did it'' but not for the night. a few months later when she started waking uo dry we got a couple waterproof mattress pads and went for it. it worked fine. good luck

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi Mindy, I would take her out of the crib. What we did was around 18/19 months we took our tots out of the crib, mainly so they could go potty in the middle of the night if they needed to, but what we did was we took the crib mattres and layed in on the floor and put their stuffed animals around it, so they could get used to not having the bars to keep them in, they always had a night light in their room from their fish aquerium and then we left the hall light on, and we had a nightlight in the batroom, so at 19/20 months they felt secure getting up by themselves to go potty, for the most part they just went before bed time and then first thing in the morning when they got up. Another tip I want to give is don't go back and fourth with diapers, in order to potty train a child, and I have potty trained my own 3 early, I have also potty trained many tots in my daycare, you have to teach them that they need to poop and pee in the potty, but if you go back to diapers then you are teaching them it's ok to poop and pee on yourself, it has to be one or the other or else you'll just confuse them, because you are starting with her late, she will probably pick it up very quickly, but the idea is for them to realize how uncomfortable it is when you pee or poop on yourself, so they don't want to do that, but in diaper they feel very comfotable to do so. I would say at 2.5 pooping/peeing in a diaper is more about habit, anything you do everyday for 2 years is going to become a habit, so now you have to get into a new habit, one thing I did with my daughter when she was 20 months old, I took her to the store and let her pick out her own panties, she got a big kick out of that, I did the same thing with my boys, my first son I started him between 19/20 months, and took him to the store and let him pick out his own underwear, I already had training pants( no not pull ups) I let him put them in his drawer making him feel like a big boy, by 21 months he was completly tained at age 2 my husband started teaching him how to stand up and pee and use the toilet, my son always wanted to do everything like his dad, so it went very well, my second child decided at 19 months he didn't want to wear diapers because his big brother didn't wear diapers, and of course he wanted to wear big boy underwear cause his brother did, so after a week or so of hit and miss he got it, they need insective, it needs to be fun, it need not be a battle, for me honesly I can you it was a breeze, I think the early is better because anything you do to long does become habit, I was a stay at home so it was easy, if we went anywhere, I still put underwear on them put the potty chair in my van. for just in cases, but I never ever put them in a diaper once I took them out, and I do the same with my daycare kids, not encluding my own, I have been potty training tots for 12 years, lot of experience, I found that a child's sucess in potty training has more to do with the parents than the child, children love to learn, and do new and different things, and thats where the insentive comes in, one more thing I didn't mention, I did use reward and discipline, I am happy to say, we had a lot of rewards and very little discipline. So she will get, be patient, be loving, but be firm. Good Luck J. L.

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S.Z.

answers from Reno on

I never taught my kids to get me if they needed to go - I taught them to go by themselves. To do that, your daughter would need a regular bed, a nightlight in the hall, and a potty chair she can use on her own. When we were running errands, we stopped in virtually every public bathroom we passed, because you just never know. If that doesn't work for you, experiment until you find what does! :)

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C.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

It is a good idea to keep her in diapers at night for another year or so. (At least until you notice she is dry all night). Depends on your goals -- spend less/no $ on diapers or preparing for preschool that requires she be potty trained? Mine was in preschool at 2.5 but not potty trained until she felt like it at 3.5 yrs. I wouldn't stress yourself over it. In 20 yrs no one will care that she was trained at 1.5, 2.5 or 3.5 as long as she's good to go for Kindergarten!

About the whole pooping thing -- that comes later. Some kids refuse to poop in the toilet and it takes work to get over that issue. My oldest became retentive and that is a whole different issue you don't want to deal with. My advice is to take your cues from your daughter -- don't rush her if you don't have to.

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E.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would be really careful with thinking about doing two major things at the same time. Moving to a big bed is a big deal, I spent 1-2 weeks working through getting my daughter to stay in her bed and that was around 3 years old. If you are learning something new, then regression will occur with something else. So, if she stays in the crib I would keep her in the crib.

When my daughter was showing the signs that she was interested in the potty then we encouraged the potty use (at 18 months when around older kids using the potty) but just put her in cool alert pull ups, because I knew she wasn't really ready. Once her pull up started staying dry and she was using the potty then I would put her in panties at home. She had a major regression at 2 (birthday weekend) and refused to go at home or at school. I didn't push it, two weeks later, she started using the potty at school again, so no more diapers. Straight to panties all the time, even for nap (except overnight). It only took a couple of nap accidents and then she held it while asleep.

When I went out I had the plastic diaper cover ups (can get at Target) and put those on, so I didn't have to take a change of clothes in case of an accident and those didn't leak. They were great.

For nighttime. My daughter was in her crib. She wasn't ready for quite awhile to potty train overnight. She was a huge pee-er at night (had to have two diapers on her and change her before I went to bed, so she didn't have an overflow. Then I started taking her and putting her on the potty just before I went to bed. She would literally be still almost asleep while doing that. I started with 11pm and then when her diaper was dry in the morning, I started to move it up by 15 min. So then I was taking her at 10:45pm and when she woke up with a dry diaper then moving up another 15 minutes (basically training her bladder to hold longer). And so on.

Finally there was just one day that she said she didn't want to wear a diaper to bed, she wanted to wear panties and so we let her. No accidents for the first couple of days and then she had two nights in a row, so I went to a sticker situation. I said we had to wear pull ups and get dry diapers for 3 nights in a row and then she could wear panties for bedtime again. We only had to go back to pull ups two times and she was good. When we went to panties, I went back to taking her to the potty before I went to bed for a few nights. She was then fully done.

Good luck.

E.

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M.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter turned 15 months 2 days ago. We started trying to potty train about a week ago. So far, she has gone pee pee three times and poo poo twice in the potty. What we do is as soon as she wakes up, we run her to the potty, take off her diaper and set her on the potty right away. We make a big deal of it. With poo poo, we have to catch her when she is just starting to push. She knows the feeling and will now say poo poo when she is starting to go. If we watch her closely, we will notice when she starts to concentrate and push and can get her on the potty before it starts t come out. It's worked twice in the last week! Good luck!

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would suggest waiting until she can sleep through the night and wake up dry. If she still wakes up wet and has to pee that often she doesn't have the control she needs to potty train. The only other thing I would suggest would be to put her in pull ups at nights so she doesn't have an accident. I know it's exciting to get them out of diapers but really the longer you wait for them to be ready the easier and more success you will have. Is she asking to wear big girl panties? Another thing that worked for me was training during the summer so they can rum around in little to no clothes making it very easy to get to the potty on time. Good luck and try not to push you will have great results if SHE wants it more then you.

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