Potty Training Help Again

well, as much as i can help, i would like to tell you that i work in a learning center (better known as a daycare-i do hate the negatives that are associated with the word daycare, so i refer to my job as a teacher at a learning center :) with two year olds and my room is the potty training room...yes, i potty train alllll dayyyy lonnggg:) but in my experience, i would certainly say no spanking, the whole hitting thing freaks me out a bit, but i would say to offer a reward (whatever it may be, a doll, candy, etc.) and then when successful, PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE, and slowly quit giving rewards and reassure your child that he/she is a big boy/girl and pooping on the potty is what big girls/boys do and you are soooooo proud of him/her for going potty. i would also adivse you to tell your child how proud you are of them for peeing on the potty too. praise and positives should be given out with no hold back!!! hope that was helpful!!!!

Hi J.,

I'm sure you've tried bribing her...that worked with my son. You said that she told you she is afraid of it hurting, she's a smart cookie to be able to tell you that! Have you told her you'd sit with her and hold her hand and if it started to hurt she could squeeze your hand? Or attaching the diaper to the seat of the potty to "catch" the poo (It won't have so far to fall)?

Good luck!

My younger sister had this problem, and it seems to be common in youngsters with constipation issues - who often have some pain and straining associated with bowel movements. My mom told me once that children can become stressed out at the idea of losing a "part" of them. As long as it's in the diaper, it doesn't stress them out so much because they can feel it and not really see it. But, to see something solid coming out of you and PLOPPING- well, from a little one's perspective, I can understand why it would freak them out.

If she does constipate easily, you could try giving her some Miralax (you can buy it OTC) my daughter has always been constipated, and a couple of ounces of water with that stuff in it has made pooping completely painless for her. It's very gentle, and works differently than a laxative. It draws water into the stool making it softer.

You could also try getting a poop book like "Everybody Poops" and use that as a way to start to talk about why she might be frightened of her poop (besides the pain). And, (this one is a bit unconventional, I guess) you could always let her in the bathroom to see that nothing bad happens to you when you poop. Goodness knows, it's pretty hard to get a solitary poop as a mom anyway.

You will have to deal with some temper tantrums because that method worked for her in the past, but after you get past that, hopefully she can have some pain free toilet pooping!

Good luck!

I have a family member who had the exact problem that you do. She ended up cutting a hole in the diaper and when her daughter needed to go she would put the diaper on then sat her on the potty. She had to do this for about 2 weeks and after that had no prblems. Good luck!!!

I had the same exact problem with our 2nd child. She was also afraid it would hurt (which took me forever to get her to tell me that was the problem.) She would hide and hold it with all her might and would have poop in all her undies. We would have to give her a tiny baby suppository to get her to go because I was afraid she would become impacted and it never failed, she would "blow" in the bathtub. Our pediatrician told us not to push her too hard because it was a sign that she was a stubborn kiddo. He was right about that one. She is STILL stubborn to this day. I remember it ending when one day she actually did it on the toilet and when it didn't hurt, she got over her fear. Hard to believe such a horrible phase ended so quickly. I KNOW how frustrating it all is! Hang in there...it won't go on forever. Just reassure her as much as you can that it won't be too painful.

J. F. It's a common problem among youngsters to not want to poop on the toilet, but will pee just fine. I agree with not pushing her. I wouldn't make her sit for an hour, that causes constipation. She'd rather hold it than poop. Maybe you can use pullups instead of diapers and when she does need to poop put on the pullup and then sit her on potty. Some kids like the security pullups/diapers offer for pooping. Perhaps after a few times of pooping in pullup/diaper while sitting on toilet she'll see that it doesn't hurt and she'll start using the toilet for pooping. Just an idea. My daughter did not have the problem, she just now won't wear underwear, only pullups, although she doesn't go in them except at night. She's 5 years old, completely pottytrained during day and won't wear underwear. The problem is awhile back (about 6 months ago) she had a bladder infection (at least that's what we think) and she had to go ALOT. And she's scared that if she puts her underwear on that she'll have to go ALOT again. She's associating underwear with going ALOT. She's just now starting to feel more comfortable wearing underwear only if we are at home. I just keep encouraging her and hope she'll outgrow it real soon. Perhaps your dd has some underlying emotional thing going on. If you can figure that out, perhaps it'll solve the problem. There are just to many variables to why kids won't poop in toilet. Keep working with her and encourage her. Give her rewards for pooping in toilet, like an ice cream cone or trip to park or something like that. Something that she would really like and would make a difference.

Hope this helps,
J.

As hard as it may be, you have to stop giving in to her by putting the diapers on her. Since you have already given in to her, it will be even harder because now she knows that she will be able to get her way by begging and crying. Believe me, she will cry and beg for a very long time because she'll think in the back of her head that you have a breaking point and will eventually give in to her. If I say no about something, no matter what, I always always always stick to my guns with it. I have done the giving in thing and learned quickly that once you give in, you've only made it worse for yourself the next time. But, having said that, it doesn't mean that it will be really hard for very long. I bet within a few days or so of you not giving in to her she will stop begging so much to have a diaper put on. My friend had a nephew that was scared of poop hurting and she actually let him watch her go poop. It sounds gross, but once he saw that when she was pooping, it didn't hurt, he went on his own. He was 4 1/2!! You never know, it may help.