Pooping on the Potty..#1 Is Ok #2 Not Going So Well.

hey N.,

my son had the same problem. i tried everything but i found out that he was actually afraid of the potty. for some reason he was creeped out about pooping on the potty. so he began to hold it. i got scared when he didnt poop for 2 days. i put really warm water (not hot) in the bottom of the potty (it helps them poop for some reason) and i sat on the floor, held his hands while he was on the potty. he cried a little but when his poop came out he was so excited. he danced naked all over the bathroom yelling "i did it i did it". i didnt have any more problems with him and his pooper anymore. hes now 5 years old.

Don't stress out about #2 just yet. My son was trained with #1 first and #2 took a few months longer. We used the words "big boy pants" for his underware and "big boy toys" for his awards of going on the potty. To get him started, we bought an alphbet thomas game he played with while he sat on the potty to go #2. We were consistant with giving him the opportunity at the same time every day. Finally, he went#2, and we got him a big boy toy for it. He caught on fast and was finally fully trained in 2 months. Hope this helps.-S. T.

get rid of the pull up it only holding her back

I have 7 kids, yours mine and ours. I have potty trained 6 of the 7. One thing I found is #2 is usually the harder for the child. Each child is different, trust me. One thing that has worked is using an incentive. One child liked to feed his dinosaur bank. He got his dinosaur food (coins) if he went #2 on the potty. Another child would go for gummi worms one had hersheys miniture candy bars. Others it did not matter. I have one son who was 4yrs old before he was potty trained. It was not for lac of trying. Sometimes it is just patience. Another suggestion is if your child has a certain time of day or behavior before she goes #2, try to catch her in the act, even if only part is in the toilet. Praise her give her a reward, call daddy, grandmas, aunts for praise. The most important thing is keep it positive, she will start in her time not yours, unfortunately. Just remember, there are no kindergardners still in diapers. It will come.--S. W.

the only thing that worked for me was getting her some pretty "big girl" underpants (maybe some she picked out). Then she didn't want to get these messy. She also wouldn't sit on the toilet long enough to do anything, so she started reading while on the toilet. It helped distract her so she could let herself "go".

I had the same problem with my son. He was in training pants and would ask to have the diaper put on to poop. There is a book called Everybody Poops that I have seen in the store, but never read it. Rewards are great! I don't think I'd do the dollar store Chinese stuff. Maybe glitzy stars that add up to things he chooses. Activities like trip to the library with mom, get ice cream with dad, park with Grandma. Whatever he suggests. We even did a simple "count the poop" and "whoo hoo" hoop and holler together and goodbye poop that did the trick.

Seems like a lot of moms have this problem. Our son was the same, & I think that he was afraid of it. (Also it does hurt some kids ..constipated) We allowed the diapers when he asked, because it just seemed easier, but we were one day at an amusement park & told him "remember, you have big boy panties on" During the day, he all of the sudden said, I have to go , so I quickly took him into the bathroom. & he went easy as could be & I almost saw the light bulb go on in his little mind, saying, "that was easy" :) That was the last day he ever used a diaper. (he was 3 1/2) Something just has to click. BUT my sister forced my niece & she struggled with constipation for years. It was horrible. She would hold it so long, have terrible stomachaches, & even had extra panties at school for accidents, which did happen because she just could not hold it any longer.
It will happen with your daughter, be encouraging, not forceful about it. My friends all used something like the M & M reward, what ever works. I would say try & not have it be stressful for anyone especially the 3 yr. old :)

We just implemented a sticker chart for my 2 1/2 yr old. I have the opposite problem...he poops on the potty every day and was refusing to pee. I just made a chart full of squares to put stickers in and wrote Noah's Potty Stickers across the top. I told him when the chart is all filled up with stickers we will go to the store and buy something special for him. It also gives him something to show off his accomplishment to everyone. I also bribe him with little treats when he is holding it for too long. My next hurdle is to get him into underwear...so far the potty training is only working if he is naked...if he has underwear on he just pees in them when we are at home.

Lose the pull ups during the day and get her some "pretty panties". Make a big deal of it. Also try taping a piece of paper next to the toilet and getting some pretty stickers so when she does have a BM she gets to put a sticker on there. We use to make a huge deal out of it when my girls were training and when they would go on the potty we'd dance around the house and sing poo poo in the potty, poo poo in the potty. Anything like that should help. If all else fails she is still young and eventually she will do it when she is ready. Good luck!

#1 - Get rid of the pullups during the day. Kids need to connect more with cues and feelings during toileting and pullups during the day may be cleaner and neater but I feel they get in the way of this. This practice works with peeing also, because children at this stage are just beginning to read their body signals and tune into them. Up until that point, they have just been wandering around, pooping and peeing at will and not even paying attention.

#2 - Let her choose some wonderful underpants - special ones with her favorite characters on them. Let her choose them at the store and make a big deal over them. Let her wear them during the day and make a big deal about them when she puts them on. Just remember, children at this age are not conscious of what their bodies do - that's why they suddenly have "POTTY" urges outdoors when playing or when shopping and there is about a 20-second window of opportunity before they go in their pants. By the time they are aware they need to go, they have already started. Your job is to help them become conscious of "when". Because pooping can be better predicted and doesn't happen as often as peeing, this one is usually easier.

There will be accidents - don't make a big deal about them. Just help her change and go from there. She will feel bad about pooping in her Dora or Tinkerbell undies. Good! That's the idea! She will begin to anticipate potty time and start to regulate herself.

I want to add something here about over-congratulating children: When we parents try to reinforce good behavior with our very young children, we sometimes have a really b-a-a-a-d habit of making a big deal over every little burp, snort or hiccup coming from our kids. There is a fine line between offering positive reinforcement and giving empty compliments that confuse children and do absolutely nothing for their self-esteem. When that line is crossed, we may end up with inconsiderate, precocious, demanding children who tell US when they want to go to bed and in what restaurant they will be eating their dinner. They will interrupt our adult conversations because they feel they have something important to say. Beware!!

I had my 3 year old daughter doing the same thing. I took away the pullups. All it took was 2 day and a slightly sore tummy. We have not had a problem since. (Oh, the occasional accident, but hey, she IS 3.)

A little bribery goes a long way. My daughter had this problem also. I left out a bowl of m &m's - every time she pooped on the potty she got one. By the time the bowl was empty, she pooped on the potty and never in the diaper and didn't need the reinforcement.
Good luck - it will happen
S. B

I think you answered your own question...Loose the pull-ups! She'll definately hate the dirty panties...It's not much fun for mom either but you have to take away the cruch if you want her to do it! Good luck!

We had this problem with my son. He was potty trained number 1 for 8 months before he would poop on the potty. You can encourage her, bring books in, tell her big girls go, etc. Problem is you can't make them do it. We basically had to wait until he was ready.

My daughter did the same exact thing when she was potty training, she would pee on the potty every single time, but always #2 in her pull-ups. But she did this because she had some issues being constipated, and pooping would hurt her. So she would hold it and go when she couldn't hold it anymore, and that would mean the pull-up. So, we started giving her Miralax (over the counter now), it's a very mild, safe laxative for toddlers. And soon, she was on a regular pooping schedule and going on the potty. It did take awhile, be patient, constipation is a big problem for lots of kids.

Have you shared this with her pediatrician? It could be that her stool is a little hard to come out and is causing her some slight discomfort. At that age, it's difficult for them to express themselves about that, but I understand it is more common than we would think. Maybe that's something you might want to look into. Good luck!

My daughter was the same way, I was really frustrated. One day she just decided to do it. She asked me for a diaper to poop in (she was wearing panties all day and night) and I was busy with the baby, and said my usual, "Why don't you try going on the potty?" I always said this and she'd always ask for a diaper. This time I looked up and she was pooping on her little potty. Seriously, it was one of the best days of my life. A was ready to do cartwheels. She got major treats that day and tons of hugs and celebration. She tried to go back to diapers once or twice, but then I could say "You know how to do it!" Be patient and it will happen. We were doing the one pullup poop diaper a day for a couple months at least. I thought it would never end. My daughter is very headstrong and just had to decide on her own to do it. Good luck!

This may be totally crazy advice...we're potty training right now and so far we haven't had to use much more than stamps and suckers, but I always said I would do this if I had an older child who had trouble pooping:

When I was in college we had a sort of joke competition on my dorm floor...it was called the "POOP TALLY". Anytime anyone pooped (on the potty obviously) she put a mark next to her name. At the end of the week the person who had pooped hte most won a prize (ours was a tacky trophy that sat in front of her door all week...but I imagine a special dinner, a prize out of prize box, along with a tacky trophy...would work great also). The whole point is to get the family involved and have it be a fun competition, I always thought it would be fun to have it end and have that person pick what was for dinner on Saturday night, or plan on ordering pizza for the next 6 weeks on Fri or Sat. night and they get to pick what's on the pizza. You know your daughter, so whatever will excite her about "winning" the "Poop Tally" each week!!

Good Luck!!!

HI N.,

I had the same problem with my 3 year old son. I used dollar day stores to buy prizes and called them poopy prizes. Every time he went poopy he got a prize. I did this for two weeks and then we were done with prizes. He has not pooped in his pants since.

R.

Both of my kids that are potty trained did #1 before #2. My daughter took 1 month and my son (luckily) one week. We had them in underwear and no matter how messy it was stuck with it. One day they just decided it was time and have gone both on the toilet ever since.

You might try having your child watch the "Potty Power" video . . . can be a real motivator to some children. It can be purchased on line, borrowed from the KDL library.

K.