Help! I am running out of ideas for potty training my 3 1/2 yr old son. We've been working on this for about a year now, and I've tried just about every suggestion I've come across but nothing seems to work. If he is completely naked from the waist down, he will go to the potty every time (pee & poop) with no problem. However, the moment I put anything on him (pull-up, underwear, pants alone, etc) the training goes out the window and he goes in his pants every time. I think the main problem is that he doesn't want to stop what he is doing to go to the bathroom, and if he has something on, he feels like he doesn't have to. Does anyone have any creative ideas that might help me?
Thanks for all of your advice! My son is pretty much potty trained now, with just an occasional accident. HOORAY! Here is what I ended up doing: I just picked a day and told my son that after that day, there would be no more pull-ups, except for at bedtime. He wasn't too happy, and tried to negotiate, but I stuck to my guns and just kept putting his in underwear only. I don't recommend this method for everyone - believe me, I cleaned up my share of gross messes for a few days, but ultimately it worked. My biggest hurdle was sending him to day care in underwear before I was sure that he would stay clean, but I talked to his teachers and told them the plan ahead of time. To my surprise, he stayed completely clean and dry at day care immediately - no accidents! Since the first day, he has had a couple of accidents there,but I just brought lots of extra clothes and they have been okay with it. I am so proud of my little guy - I think he just needed me to be more authoritative on the issue. Thanks again for your input!
My son did the same thing - I let him go naked for about 4 days, and he completely understood the concept of going in the toilet. He didn't really have the dexterity to pull his clothes up and down. I have three boys, and I wonder if this is just an example of how boys lag behind the girls in the early years...anyway, good luck...give the naked thing a try! (messy but worth it)
K.
My 3 yr old just 'got it' about 3 months now. He would do the same thing. Just one day, he started on his own. Plus he really didn't like the wet feeling and I told him that he couldn't go to school like 'jake' and the other big kids until he went in the potty all the time.
We still do pullups at nap and night time but patience. I know it is hard.. We also would make a HUGE HUGE HUGE deal when he went in the potty - we would get a candle and light it and let him blow it out. And if he went in the bathroom and went potty on his own.. he got to blow it out 2x.. and we clapped and shouted hoooray.. made him feel big. But my older son wouldn't want to stop playing in fear that he would miss out. So he was trying...
Hi A.:
My son was the same exact way. And we tried everything! I started by putting a small bowl of candies in the bathroom and gave him a piece each time he went potty like a big boy. My sister also told me to keep him in underwear because they don't like the feeling of being wet when they pee their pants with underwear on. (We tried the cool touch pull-ups, but that didn't work either) Because he didn't want to stop playing to go, I began making him go to the bathroom every hour. It was a royal pain, but after about a week, it worked. Between the potty treats and the constant reinforcement he understood that he didn't want to be wet and it only took a minute out of his play to go. Since your son is okay when he has no pants on, try playing up what a big boy he is when he can pull his pants up and down to go. I used a lot of elastic waist shorts when we went through it so it was easier for Christopher to get his pants up and down. Hang in there, keep on it and one day it will just click. Good luck.
You should try taking him every 1/2 hour or so when you're at home. Just make him stop what he is doing and take him in and put him on the potty. That's how we handled my daughter. She finally decided telling us when she needed to go cost her less play time! Good luck.
oh my gosh, if i didn't know better, i'd think we are twins!
i also have a 3 1/2 year old and a 7 month old and my 3 1/2 year old refuses to potty train. it is completely hit or miss...
if anyone gives you an idea that works. PLEASE SHARE!!!
Dear A.,
I had a good laugh, you have a really busy little man on your hands there. I don't have any ideas, but maybe a potty chair right beside the toiled would help. Why don't you just stop working on it for a little while, not give up, but, just see what he himself decides to do . My great grandson is slow in the potty training area too, and I think that he likes the diaper changing time with Mom. ....and anyone else who happens by to clean him up. He will get tired of this 'game' and finally use the potty. He is probably going into the closet or behind a chair when he is pooping in his pants too. Kids do that one too.
Good Luck, C. N.
Hi A., I agree with the others that suggested creating a bathroom schedule. It worked for my son who is now four. He trained quickly. The daycare recommended a potty schedule (every 30 minutes-1 hour) and it did the job. Also, while training we used only underwear. We had our son pick his favorite characters, and it made him proud to wear underwear like daddy.
Good luck..........
Dear A.:
The only thing that I can suggest is watch for the signs of him needing to go potty. When my son was that age, he would start doing the "pee pee dance" and run off to hide, or he would continue to play, but I could plainly see that he needed to go potty. Just remind him what he needs to do when you notice any "potty signs" and walk him to the bathroom. When he goes potty, be sure to give him lots of praise.
While he's wearing his pants, maybe you could try taking him to the toilet every hour or so, just to get him in the habit of going into the bathroom, pulling down his pants, sitting on the toilet and going thru the routine. Also, you could try putting something fun to do in the bathroom--so when he stops playing there's more fun to be had in the bathroom--a silly book, a nerf basketball hoop, a funny mirror, etc...
Good luck.
A., I felt like I was reading a request for help from myself. We just celebrated my son's 4th birthday. He is exactly like your son, and I thought the same thing you did, he just doesn't want to stop. I really don't have any help, but wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I am watching the responses closely since I would love to hear any suggestions (we have tried just about everything). Right now he is changing his own diaper/pull ups since that was a suggestion another teacher gave me (this too doesn't seem to work, but I do know that he doesn't like it as much). One positive note is that his teacher at school says that he asks her to go when he is there. It is only at home now that we have a problem it seems. Let me know if you have any good news . . .
Hey A.,
My daughter is the same way. As soon as the diaper is on when we go out, she doesn't think twice about using it. However, I did get her to run around the house in loose sweat pants and she does quite well with that. I tried putting on regular underwear on her to no avail. I agree with the other suggestions to use a candy as incentive, a fun book in there and severe praise. I would also like to suggest what my cousin used for her son. She used Cheerios in the toilet. She threw a bunch in the toilet and told him to "aim" for them. That, apparently, was the most fun he had in the bathroom. He ALWAYS ran in there to sink the O's. You may also want to find other boys around his age, that are already trained. He will want to be just like them. That is how my younger brother learned. He wanted to be just like his older brother.
good luck
Jennifer
I came up with a creative solution for my son because I had the same problem. He alway thought he will miss out on something important if he stopped to use the restroom. I started letting him get a sticker for everytime he used the potty the right way (pants on) and let him pick the sticker and place it on the toilet seat lid. That way he can count the stickers as he goes and gave him a small prize for ever 10 stickers. Remove the stickers after 10 or you will have a mess of stickers everywhere. Let him start over with one and he gets counting skills in the process. That comes out to be every two days he gets something minor but it was close enough together to remember the excitment. Also for the clothes on and not wanting to stop what he is doing, use a timer or stop watch. Set if for every 10 or 20 mins and make him try to use the restroom. He might get irritated at first but once he uses the potty and gets a sticker for it and sees them build up he will be happier to use the restroom. I hope this helps. Good luck. Best wishes
