Potty Training Frustrations

My son wasn't potty trained until several months past 4, and a lot of it was becuase of the on-and-off training and it became a power struggle. We just finally put away the undies and went back to diapers. And took away a couple of "big boy" activities he kinda liked, because big boys go potty. Then we didn't mention potty at all, except if he wanted big boy activities, and we just said "Oh, that's for big boys. Big boys go potty." And left it at that. When we asked him, a few months after he was 4, if he wanted to try pottying again, he was ready. And he was 100% trained in less than a week.

When is baby due? He will revert about 6 months back when baby comes. And when daddy comes home, he will also revert some (even though it's a good thing). Just be ready for that. It may be easier in the long run to wait until after baby is born.

how about potty training your second child? That might provide the needed motivation.

If it was me, I'd just tell him, no more diapers. You are too big for them.

My friend bought the kids toilet with targets in it and he got gum if he hit the target. He can hit any target still. LOL

It took a while with my son too. Stickers, candy, prizes did not work for him, he was not interested. I found that with my son, having him go naked was a big part of his success. Also I tried to stay very positive while in the bathroom. The other thing we did was set a timer for every 15 minutes, and he would go "try". If he went great, if not no big deal. I found that my son did not like all the praise and excitement that I was giving him, when he succeeded. I found that keeping the mood positive but not over the top was what he was looking for. Also not having pants on he clearly became aware of the sensation to potty and exactly what that meant. It did not take too long for him to put all the pieces together. Yes, there were a few messes, but once he got it, he got it. No pull ups, no night time pull up and no accidents. The most important thing is your attitude, keep positive with no pressure. Also for my son, it did help to watch daddy and he very much liked the idea of being a "big boy" like daddy.
He will get there, good luck

I understand, I did have 3 kids all in diapers at the same time. When you say potty training off and on; I would recommend really sticking to it as much as possible. I know it is frustrating and difficult. I didn't work with my oldest son as much as I should have after my twins were born because I was so busy with the newborns and therefore it did take him longer to be potty trained. I was more diligent with my twins and potty training was alot easier. The one thing that really made my kids excited to use the potty was using a sticker chart. They would get a sticker for going potty, washing hands etc maybe get a prize at the end of the week or however you wanted to do it to make it more exciting for him!

I agree with you that avoiding power struggles is the best way to go. I would lay off asking him if he needs to pee. If he's not wetting his pants, I would let it go. For my kids, it was all about incentives. I didn't consider them bribes because they didn't know it was coming - in other words I don't say "if you go potty, you will get ........." But if I caught them going on the potty by themselves, or if I had asked & they went without a struggle, I would give them something small they really liked - like a few M&M's. I also did NOT make a huge deal about it when they were successful - they could tell if I was too happy about it & would withhold just to exert some control. I would just say - "Nice job! You must be growing up! You get some M&M's." And then I'd drop it. Figure out something your child loves that won't break the bank & surprise him with it sometime. See what happens. Hope it helps!

Good luck!

It took me this long with my son too. If can hold it for hours then try a set schedule, maybe with an alarm or "potty watch" from a kids catalog. My son is almost 5 and has been trained about a year. Accidents are extremely rare but he still argues if I send him for a potty break (I ignore it as much as I can and just make him go).

When you say "hours," do you mean like 3 hours or 10 hours? Big difference. If it's only a few hours he'll be fine, if it's all day and into the night, you may be right that it could cause a problem. For my son I just had to step away from the whole thing - literally. He WOULD NOT poop in the potty even though he was pee trained for over a year! I finally went out of town for an entire day (14 hours) and he was home with his dad. When my husband went out to the garage and left our son in the house with a video, ten minutes later our son waltzed out to the garage and announced, "I pooped on the potty dad." then went back inside like it was no big thing. I think I was putting too much pressure on him by accompanying him to the bathroom and having an expectation of what was supposed to happen. And I'm sure he knew I was stressed about it even though I tried my hardest not to show it. Yes, the new baby may be playing a part in your son's refusal, but my daughter was only a couple months old when my son finally finished potty training, so the stress of the new baby turned out not to be such a big thing after all!

I wouldn't reccomend bribing, are you going to be giving him something everytime he goes to the bathroom until he moves out? LOL, in all seriousness I tried the bribing thing with my son, we started trying to potty train him when he was a little over 2. It didn't work, so we quit with the "you can have a sucker if you poop." I took him completley out of diapers ( I say "I" because I am a SAHM, and hubby didn't contribute) let him pick of new cool underwear, and put him on the potty every 15-30 minutes. Even if he had just went the time before, I would have him sit there for a good 5-10 minutes and sometimes he would go again even if it was just a dribble. Have you tried just not putting him in diapers, I have found that when my son had one on he would just get lazy and pee in it just because. If he can hold it that long without going, I don't see any reason for him to still be in diapers, it seems he has the concept of what he needs to do, maybe he is just anxious about having another sibling on the way and this is his way of trying to keep control. My son will be 3 in January. and sometimes we still have power struggles about going potty, like first thing in the morning when he isn't awake yet, but I know he is child and I am the parent and fits will happen. That doesn't mean I am going to let him get his way about something so simple as using the bathroom.

i totally agree with potty training the second and making the first jealous and he will do it on his own.