Potty Training Frustration

Try making him sit on the potty while you fill his bath at night. It is very normal for kids to have a harder time with poopy. Try offering rewards if he can go poopy on the potty before you put him to bed. Try letting him read on the potty. If he can sit there and relax long enough you should be able to get him to go. Good Luck.

Ohhhh how this sounds familiar L.! My oldest is now 7 and fully trained so there is hope for you! But he did the absolute same thing. My only suggestion is patience, and time. With my son we finally had to get stern and on Fathers Day when he was 4 1/2 he was finally trained when we sensed he had to go and my hubby sat with him in the bathroom and just kept encouraging him to go. There were tears and frustration not all of them hubby's lol! But he finally did it. And when he did the look of pride he had was priceless. After that day he had one accident that was poop related but it was just that an accident. It depends on your sons personality you know him best but trying to catch him during his time to go and sit him on the pot for a bit might help. Good luck!
H.

My son is 2 1/2 and also uses the potty to pee pee, but he gets so tricky when it comes to the poopie! He will wait until I am busy doing something and he hides from me. When he comes out he tells me, 'poopie!' and sure enough he went in his pull up again. I have tried putting him on the potty when he normally goes (in the moring), but he will hold it until he can sneak off! It is very frustrating - I feel your pain. I would love to hear how you solve this problem!

You can track around what time he tends to poop at night, and if he won't sit on the potty long enough while you prep the bath or while reading a book, you can place him in front of his favorite t.v. show just prior to that time. To deal with any control issues, you may give him a choice between two or three shows he can watch while sitting on the potty, and keep those shows only for that time. A kitchen timer is also a great visual that helps them know when they can get up. Keep a reward chart of the days he goes poop in the potty and reward him each time he does with a sticker, star or smilie face. You can set a goal for how many stickers he needs to earn a special prize. In the process he should find the experience of staying clean rewarding so he should continue and you can fade out the reward system until he no longer needs it.

A question... does he have constipation or loose bowel issues? When a child is constipated, by the time they have to go they often can't help it and it just leaks out. He may also be holding it as a form of control. Since potty and eating are some of the only things that kids can truly control, many times that's where you have behavior issues. I would try the other suggestions offered by our experienced mommies, but if they don't work, you may also want to explore these issues with your doctor.

Good luck! C.

Hi L.,

Wow, thats great that he is doing well with the potty training, okay set a schedule and take him to the bathroom at the top of every hour. If you stick to a schedule where you take him more often; he will realize that he needs to do something each time or every other time you take him. Trust me he will need to go at least every other hour. He will poop and when he does...just get extra extra excited so he realizes this is a good thing and would want to keep up the good work! I wish you the best of luck!

HI L., my son just turned 5 and we STILL have issues with this too. His problem is he holds it. He'll be too busy to go poop. He must think he'll miss out on something if he goes. So he'll mess his underwear up and sometimes go through 4 or 5 pairs in a day or even just part of the day - until I get tired of it and put a diaper back on him till he goes to the bathroom. He'll hid too - behind the chair sitting down - guess he knows if he's sitting it maybe it won't happen. We MAKE him sit on the toliet and stay there - sometimes for up to 5 / 10 mins and won't let him out until he finally goes - and he will once he sees we're not letting him go. Oh I tell ya - it's a battle sometimes! A gross one too!! What is it? They won't let YOU go without them being there at all times and but THEY won't go themselves????
A.

Try this - about 45 mintues before bedtime, give him a little warm applejuice - wait for about 15-20 minutes then sit him on the potty. The warm applejuice (which works great for constipation) this will get things going. Sit with him and read a book - everyone goes potty is a good one. Offer him a reward if he goes in the potty (I used sweet tarts and frozen grapes for my little guy). After a couple of times I would cut out the warm apple juice and only use that in times of constipation but keep the routine of sitting on potty and reading before bedtime. It worked for me - hope it works for you. PS: having older children particpate, encourage etc.. might help especially if your little guy looks up to them, wants to be like them etc... Good Luck!

Mine just started training at 3 yeears old and won't go poopy, but it is because he is scared to. For young ones, I think you just have them sit as much as possible. For 4 years old, I know what a fiend of ours did. She told him that he could do what he wanted but she was not cleaning him up anymore. It only took one time of him having to be dirty and finally do it himself and the next time he started using the potty. There was a link on msn yesterday about a 1 day booty camp in Chicago where she will potty train kids in 1 day. She says you tell them that it goes in the potty and you make them clean up the accidents. My problem now is my son is holding it because he hates how it feels to go in his underwear. I have a long battle ahead of me to! At his age and since he just started training, I am just going to try to calmly and peacfully work him through it. When they are older, I think you can take for of a firm stance about it. Good Luck, I might be in your same situation in a year!

Hi, L. -

I have the same trouble with my 4 year old. He waits to poop and when I put his diaper on for overnight, suddenly he says he has to go poop and does it in his diaper. I am amazed that he has that control!

I think the trouble for us is (and this revelation was sparked by another mom's comment) that he learned to pee in the potty standing up. So sitting down on the potty is completely foreign to him. He's afraid he'll "get splashed" and all sorts of other phobias.

My older son learned to pee on the potty sitting down, so it was naturally easier for him to get the sitting to poop thing down.

So I may try having him sit down to pee so he gets used to sitting and see if that helps his fear.

I'm not sure if this is the same for you, but it's a thought. Otherwise, we have just tried to encourage him(threatening never works for my son) and we keep telling him he can do it. We've also tried bribes, but they don't really work on him either (but they may work for you).

I'll be reading the responses and follow up - good luck!

--M.

Find something that is important to him and tell him if he poops in his pants, he won't get it today. I did this with my 2 year old son who had the same problem and it worked great. He still has an occasional accident, but he loses his pacifier for his nap and for night time that day if he does. He knows the consequences.

Good luck! Melissa O'B :)